Before the Order - The beginning of Lily & James
by EmilyLily
Summary: This is the story of how Lily came to fall in love with James. Set after 5th year. Prequel to Lily & James - Life after 7th year
1. An Odd First Day

**Before the Order – the beginning of Lily and James**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the Harry Potter Universe.**

**1. An Odd First Day**

Lily felt the tears drying on her cheeks as she looked out of the train window at the scenery that was rushing by. Even though the incident with Snape had taken place just over two weeks ago, it still hurt. She could not believe it, after all the years, after all they went through together, that he could call her – _that. _Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the compartment door opening; looking around, Lily saw her best friend, Alice Prewitt. Lily gave her a small, welcoming smile and she entered the compartment and sat down opposite her.

"Are you alright?" Alice asked. Lily looked up and gave her a weak smile and a nod.

"No you're not." Alice stated, looking at her friend with eyes full of sympathy and trust. "I don't blame you, what he said was unforgivable."

"Thanks. Can we not talk about it anymore, please?" Lily asked gently. She did not want to hurt Alice's feelings, but she also didn't want to be reduced to the sobbing mess she had been a couple of weeks previous. To her relief, Alice nodded her head and dropped the subject.

"What are you up to this summer?" Lily smiled at her friend's kindness and enthusiasm, she had always admired that and she knew others did too.

"I will probably go on holiday to La Conchiliga with my family." Lily said, her heart lightening with the thought of the warm, sandy beaches and the delicious ice cream that the holiday always promised.

"You have to come and visit!" Alice squealed suddenly. "It's going to be totally boring without you." Lily grinned.

"Yeah sure, but isn't Frank going to be visiting you?" Lily said, with a cheeky grin on her face. Alice began to blush furiously; Frank Longbottom was Alice's boyfriend. After about a year of circling eachother, the two had finally got together and Lily couldn't be happier for them, she knew Frank was Alice's first boyfriend and that she had been rather nervous about the whole idea but so far Frank had done nothing but show Alice true kindness and generosity.

"Yes, hopefully, but we have only been dating for just over a month, he might not want to visit me." Lily gave her friend a sudden disbelieving look.

"Please, the boy has been infatuated with you since second year. He really likes you, I am positive he will want to visit you." Alice nodded a wide, happy smile on her face.

"Well, you never know – James might visit you." Lily sent her friend a dark scowl at this.

"I hope not. I would rather die than have Potter visit me." Alice nodded, attempting to keep a straight face.

"Whatever you say. What subjects do you want to take for NEWTs next year?" Happy for a change of topic, Lily ran off the list of subjects she wanted to take next year, if she got the grades for her OWLs.

The rest of the journey was filled with chatter about family and hopes for the next term. By the time the train pulled up at King's Cross, the two of them had all but planned their summers and their sixth year.

"Promise you'll write and tell me all about your time in Italy." Alice said, giving Lily a tight hug.

"And tell me when to visit; I'll need an escape from Petunia." Lily said. Alice laughed.

"It might be better than you think." She saw the look on Lil's face. "Alright I promise I'll rescue you." Laughing, they broke apart and collected their luggage. Saying their final good byes they each departed to their families who were waiting patiently on the platform. Lily's mother, Viola, a petite blonde – haired woman with a kind smile, was waiting at the edge of the platform with a sulky looking Petunia.

"Hello honey. Did you have a good term?" Viola asked, hugging her youngest daughter tightly. Lily breathed in her familiar smell of flowers and freshly baked bread, she knew she was home.

"It was great thanks Mum." Lily said, happily. Then, bracing herself, she turned to her sister. "Hello Petunia." She said, trying to smile.

"Hi." Petunia said, shortly, turning away from her sister to talk to her mother. "Can we go home now?" Viola gave Lily an understanding look and then helped her push her trolley out of the station.

About an hour later, Lily was in the kitchen with her mother, helping her with dinner when Lily asked the question that had been bothering her since her arrival at King's Cross.

"Where is Dad?" Lily knew that her father and her mother had been having problems lately, when she had been home for Christmas, she had noticed that they were much colder towards eachother and were having more arguments.

"He is away on a business trip. Sorry he wasn't here to welcome you home." Mrs Evans gave her daughter a comforting squeeze on the shoulder. "So tell me about your term. How is everything and everyone?" Lily told her mother all about her year and about everyone's activities; she carefully avoided talking about Severus.

"That sounds wonderful, and it would be lovely for you to visit Alice. But how is Severus, you haven't said anything about him." Lily felt a knot in her stomach at the mention of his name. She looked down at her hands.

"We had a...a falling out. We're not friends anymore." Lily said simply, her mother looked over in shock. In the last five years, the two had been all but inseparable; it was hard to believe that they were no longer friends.

"What kind of falling out?" Mrs Evans asked, concern etched clearly on her face. Lily thought, she couldn't really tell her mother the real reason why they fell out; she knew her mother would hate him for it and for some reason, she didn't want that.

"We didn't really see eye to eye anymore. We chose different paths, grew apart." Mrs Evans nodded; she wanted to ask more but could clearly see that her daughter was not in the mood to discuss it.

"That happens sometimes. Could you set the table, please?" Lily nodded and hopped off her chair to lay the table for dinner. As Mrs Evans watched her youngest daughter, she could see a great deal was on her mind, more than a girl her age should have to deal with. Whatever it was, she just hoped that it would all sort itself out.

Lily finished unpacking her suitcase and looked around her room. It was a fair size, with burgundy colour wallpaper and cream furniture. Her mother had chosen the colour when Lily had been just three years old, as she said it would match her daughter's hair and Lily had grown to love her room.

Dinner had been subdued that night; Petunia had given Lily her usual cold shoulder and Mrs Evans had attempted to make small talk simply to try and diffuse the tension. Sighing, Lily changed into her pyjamas and got into bed. She read her book (_Pride & Prejudice_) until the clock told her it was midnight, but despite her attempts, she could not concentrate on the words before her. Why had Severus called her that after all he had said that it didn't matter to him what blood status she was? She had seen it coming though, all the time he had spent with Avery and Mulciber and getting deeper and deeper into the Dark Arts had clearly taken their toll on him. Trying to push those thoughts out of her mind, she turned her light off and closed her eyes, hoping for sleep to come.

The first day of the holidays dawned overcast and muggy. Lily woke at seven o'clock, dressed and went downstairs and started to prepare herself breakfast. As she went to get the milk from the fridge, she saw Petunia standing at the door with a scowl on her face.

"What?" Lily asked, slightly irritated.

"Nothing." Petunia snapped, as she came into the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee.

"Petunia," Lily started, more gently. "I don't like this rift between us. It has been a long time now, can we try and be sisters, please?" Petunia suddenly banged her glass down on the table top.

"How can you say that? You are the one that ruined it. Going off to that freak school and then bringing it back with, showing us that we aren't as _special _as you." Lily just stared at her sister, shocked. How could she say such things?

"You think I want it to be like this? I am sorry I'm different, but I am _not _going to apologise for who I am!" She shouted, her voiced rising higher than she intended. There was sudden movement from upstairs and a moment later, Mrs Evans rushed into the kitchen, looking distinctly startled.

"What's going on?" She asked worriedly, looking from one daughter to the other. Petunia was still scowling, whilst Lily felt hot tears burning the back of her eyes.

"Nothing." She said, running up the stairs, she flung herself onto her bed and let her tears pour down her cheeks. After all she had done to try and fix their relationship, Petunia could just through it back in her face like that. Breathing deeply, Lily sat up and dried her eyes. Once she had pulled herself together again, she checked her face in the mirror, despite the slight puffiness under her eyes, there was no evidence to suggest her previous emotions.

Straightening her clothes, Lily grabbed her coat from the hook on the back of her door and left her room. She went down the stairs, where her mother was waiting, still with a worried look on her face.

"Are you alright? What was all that about?" Lily looked at her mother and forced a smile, her mother didn't need to deal with a sibling squabble on top of everything else.

"Nothing. It's fine. I'm going to work, see you later." She reached up and pecked her mother on the cheek, then grabbing her house keys, she went out the front door.

As she breathed in the summer air, she told herself to ignore Petunia's comments and told herself that the rest of the day would be better.

Lily had worked at the small town cafe for just under a year. She liked it; she liked all the women she worked with – bubbly Helen, vivacious and excitable Kim and gentle and down to earth Georgia. She also loved meeting all the people, new and old. But today would be different, today would not be as fun.

The morning rush came and went as usual, and the girls were clearing up when they heard the bell go. Lily went over to take the order.

"What can I get you?" She asked, not looking up as she took out her pen and pad.

"Oh, I don't know – what would you suggest?" Said a familiar voice, looking up, Lily felt her heart sink.

"Potter?!" She said, staring incredulously at the athletic black haired boy.

"Hello, Evans." He said evenly as he flashed her one of his lop sided smiles that would have made any other girl at Hogwarts go weak at the knees.

"What are you doing here?" James gave a shrug.

"I thought the place looked nice, I fancied a coffee – why not?" Lily felt her blood begin to boil, she did not need this, not today.

"So not only are you content with annoying me at school, you now feel the need to do it here as well?" Lily was about to turn away when James' voice stopped her.

"Look, I know I have been a complete ass recently and I am truly sorry for it. I didn't realise how much I hurt you, please, just accept my apology." Although James' tone was sincere, this only made Lily's frustration grow, and she could not believe that he expected her to forgive him after all he had done.

"I lost one of my best friends because of you. So, no, I cannot accept your apology." With that she stomped off to the other girls.

"Can you take his order please?" Lily asked quietly. Helen looked at her perplexed.

"Why? What's wrong?" Lily shook her head.

"Please, I'll explain later." Helen gave her a strange look, then went to get out her own pad and pen, but stopped short when she saw the table was empty.

"Well, I guess he wasn't that hungry." Helen muttered, resuming her clearing and gossiping. Lily looked round, shocked to see James had left and she was even more shocked to find that she wished he hadn't. Shaking her head, she got back to work, this holiday seemed to be getting stranger and stranger.


	2. Confusing Feelings

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the Harry Potter universe. All rights to J.K Rowling.**

**Chapter 2 – Confusing Feelings**

James walked away from the cafe with his stomach knotting and unknotting itself. He had teased Lily on many occasions but this time was different; usually when she insulted him or rejected him, he felt nothing. But this time, he felt like a dark shadow had been cast over him. He had felt terrible about the incident with Snape since the day it had occurred. Lily had looked so crushed when Snape had called her that unforgivable word – 'Mudblood', even the sound of it made his skin crawl.

Shaking his head, as if hoping that it would shake these irksome thoughts out of his head, he decided to go home.

Lily was clearing another table at the cafe, but her mind was still reeling over the previous events. She could not believe that Potter had expected her to forgive him just like that. For years he had teased her and embarrassed her in a vain attempt to get her to go out with him; but to make matters worse, because of his thoughtless actions and self – righteous ego she had lost her childhood friend.

Then why are you so concerned about hurting his feelings, said a little voice in her head. She frowned, she didn't want to hurt his feelings but she told herself that she did not care for him. Not one little bit.

When her shift finished, Lily waved good bye to the girls and walked home, all the while, the events of that morning continued to circle in her brain.

When she reached home, she found her mother was out and Petunia was sat in the lounge, reading the latest muggle gossip magazine. Lily was about to say hello to her, when she remembered the argument from that morning; instead, she trudged upstairs and fell onto her bed. Suddenly, a tapping at the window intruded her thoughts and she looked up to see a large Scoops owl tapping on the glass on her window. Hurrying over, Lily opened the window, the owl promptly flew into the room, dropped a letter onto her bed and settled itself on her desk, looking expectantly at Lily, who pulled a couple of bird treats out of her bedside table and fed them to the owl. Upon closer inspection, Lily recognised the owl as her friend, Emmeline Vance's. She was a fellow Gryffindor with chocolate brown hair and similar coloured eyes; she was also the envy of most of the girls at Hogwarts. Lily picked up the envelope the owl had delivered and opened it.

_Dear Lils,_

_Sorry for not being there on the last day, my Uncle Heggery was very ill – a bad case of stomach worm _– Lily grimaced – _Anyway, I hope you have an awesome summer and you must come and visit me – Mum is driving me CRAZY! Please let me know of any exciting news._

_Love, Em xx_

Lily smiled at her friend's letter; Emmeline had always been a great friend to Lily. Despite her popularity, she was not big – headed and was fiercely loyal to her friends. Grabbing a quill and a piece of parchment, Lily began her response.

_Dear Em,_

_I hope your Uncle gets better soon – I have heard stomach worm can be quite uncomfortable. The holiday has not started very well – had a huge fight with Petunia, well nothing new there, and guess who I met on my waitressing shift – POTTER!_

_He had the nerve to ask me to forgive him...but the strangest thing is that when I told him 'no' he just left...and even weirder – I felt bad for making him leave – I am totally confused!_

_Well I hope you have a really spectacular holiday and you can come and visit anytime you like – Mum loves to see you._

_All the best_

_Love, Lil xx_

Satisfied with her reply, Lily slipped the latter into an envelope and gave it to the owl, who took it obediently in his beak.

"Thank you." She said to the owl kindly as she opened the window again and watched as it flew away. She gave a contented sigh, Emmeline was far better at these kind of situations than she was – she would know what to do.

James arrived at his home feeling uncomfortable and disorientated, he had never like muggle transport, it was always too crowded and the plastic chairs on the buses were by no means luxury. He opened the front door and walked inside, he found his Dad at the kitchen table, reading the _Daily Prophet, _and he always liked to keep up with the latest news. He looked up and smiled as his son entered.

"Hello, son, how are you?" James walked over to a vacant chair by his father and sat down.

"I'm alright. How are you? How's work at the Ministry?" Mr Potter worked in the Hex and Curse Defense Department of the Ministry of Magic, due to his expertise he gained in his time being an Auror; James had always been fascinated by his father's work and he had decided at a young age that he wanted to follow right in his footsteps and become an Auror himself.

"Oh it's all good fun. A great deal of paper work that never seems to be finished." Mr Potter answered good – humouredly, then noticing a certain change in his son's mood, he set down his paper and took off his glasses. "You seem very preoccupied about something. Everything alright?" James thought for a moment, he could push it aside, but he felt like his dad might be the best help in this situation.

"It's just... how do you know if you like someone? I mean really like them." Mr Potter frowned for a moment.

"Well, it depends, I first realised I liked your mother when I felt happy when I talked about her or when she talked to me and when I felt sick when I had upset her." Mr Potter said, staring at his son with paternal curiosity. "Is there someone you like?" He asked, amused and surprised to see his son blush slightly.

"Well I don't know – she is feisty and beautiful, but she doesn't want to know. I don't know what to do, Dad. I think I really like her, maybe I should just go after one of the other girls, and she's probably a lost cause." James said, his heart feeling weighed down by despondency. Mr Potter stared at his son; he had heard him talk about girls before, but never like this and he had never sounded so miserable that this particular girl had rejected him. He knew this girl was special.

"There was this old saying in Quidditch when I was at school," Mr Potter began and James looked up at him in bewilderment, how was this going to solve things? "'Why go after the quaffle when you can see the Snitch?'" James still felt lost, what was his father saying and how was it ever going to help? "All those other girls, they are quaffles, they may be beautiful but anybody to catch them, you would not be any different to the next person. But this other girl you talk about, she is obviously a Snitch. She is unusual and extremely difficult to catch and sometimes you might feel like giving up, but she is the greater prize in the long run – and once you've caught her, you will want to keep her and she will always want to keep you too." James gave a broad smile, finally understanding.

"So, you're saying I shouldn't give up?" James asked simply and his father gave him a warm twinkling smile, like that of Dumbledore's.

"Never give up on her." Giving James a pat on the shoulder, Mr Potter left the room, leaving James to ponder what his Dad had said.

Lily was sitting on her swing bench in the garden, with the family dog, Wolfy on her lap. He was the least like a Wolf, he was a daschund hound and was very old and decrepit, but Lily still loved him. She suddenly became aware of a weight beside her, and looking around, Lily saw her mother sitting next to her.

"You seem quite distant today – something up?" Lily smiled wryly at her hands.

"Just got things on my mind." Lily said simply, deciding this was the simplest explanation.

"Would boys have anything to do with that?" Viola asked, making her daughter's head snap up quickly.

"How did you know?" Lily asked, amazed her mother had been able to figure it out.

"I have been round a while dearie, I know when boys are the problem." Lily chuckled slightly at her mother's comment.

"Well it's not 'boys' really, just one boy in particular," Lily began, feeling her frustration rekindled by the thought of him. "He is just so big – headed and he feels the need to ask me out constantly. But today he came into the cafe and he started winding me up – but the weirdest thing is that when I told him I was annoyed, he didn't carry on, he just left and what is even stranger, I felt sad that he had left." Mrs Evans nodded slightly at her daughter and then looked out into the distance, thinking.

"Well, he obviously cares for you and if it wasn't there before, it is certainly there now. The boy obviously cares what you think about him and your rejection hurt him this time because of that. And I think you feel something for him too, whether it is romantic or not, I don't know but you do and that's why you felt sad. I think you should just think about what you want, and talk to him again if you want to. You need to decide what you want." Lily nodded, but she was still feeling completely lost – what did she want? Viola gave her daughter a gentle kiss on the head, then returned to the house.

Lily was deep in thought, she was angry at Potter, but she couldn't really blame him for her losing Snape, she had already lost him a long while before that – she had just not wanted to believe it. Then, Potter had taken the time to come and apologise to her directly, something that must have damaged his ego, and when she had refused to accept it, he had accepted her decision and left her alone. Perhaps he was not so bad after all, perhaps she should accept his apology. Before she could change her mind, she got up from the swing, setting Wolfy down on the grass and ran up to her room; she took out a quill and paper and began to write.

_Dear Potter,_

_I am sorry for my behaviour this morning it was unnecessary. I am sorry I blamed you for Snape that was unfair, you did not drive him away – he did that perfectly well on his own. I want to write to say I accept your apology, if it stills stands. Again, I am sorry for my actions, I hope I did not hurt your feelings._

_From, Lily_

She enclosed the letter in an envelope and gave it to her Barn Owl, Pinnam, who took it gently her beak and soared gracefully out of the window. Lily took a deep breath, trying to calm her churning stomach, despite all she told herself that she did not care what Potter's reply was, there was a significant part of her that greatly hoped he would read the letter with care and accept her apology. Trying to push that feeling out of her mind, she went back out into the garden.

James' dinner was interrupted when a large, pretty Barn Owl swooped through the open window and dropped a small envelope into his lap. He gave the owl a sliver of his roast beef, which she gratefully took and then giving a call of gratitude, she flew back out of the window. James' attention turned to the envelope in his lap, he did not recognise the neat hand writing; excusing himself, he left the dinner table and took himself upstairs to his room. He sat down on his four – poster bed and opened the envelope; he was both stunned and pleased to see that it was from Lily. He read the contents and a smile spread slowly across his face. It was not his usual cocky grin, instead it was a smile of pure contentment, she wasn't as angry as he had first thought and she wanted to accept his apology.

With a warm, bubbly feeling growing inside his stomach, James took out his own quill and parchment and began to write. Maybe this summer would be better than he had previously imagined.

**Well I hope you like it **** Please keep reading & reviewing, I will hopefully update the sequel later today as well **** Love Em xx**


	3. Summer Ends & First Day Back

**3. Summer ends & first day back**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter. All rights to J.K Rowling.**

The rest of the holiday continued in mundane order. The holiday to Italy was cancelled due to Mr Evans' continued absence, something which worried Lily greatly. Although her father had been on numerous business trips before, his latest ones seemed to be getting longer and longer and Lily could clearly see that this was bothering her mother to the point of distraction.

"We'll be able to go next year." Lily had said, putting on her best hopefully tone and Mrs Evans had smiled at her daughter sadly, grateful for her efforts.

Lily visited Alice as promised and the two of them had a day at the beach near Alice's house.

"So things are no better with your parents?" Alice had asked with friendly concern. Lily had told her all about her father's extended trip and the anxiety that she constantly saw in her mother's usually so lively eyes. Alice had given her the traditional friendly assurance that it would all work out in the end. On the surface, Lily nodded and agreed that she was most likely right, but underneath she could not get rid of the feeling that there was something much severe brewing on the horizon.

When the last week of the holidays came around, Lily could not believe just how fast the holidays had raced past. Lily's father had returned home the weekend before, but Lily could not help but notice there was a certain reservation and reluctance to his character. Despite this, Lily was happy to have the family all together for the last week, and on the day before she was due to go to King's Cross, Mrs Evans cooked them all a delicious meal of Chicken Casserole and sweet corn, followed by pudding of strawberry and chocolate mousse.

"Well, what have you girls all been up to?" Mr Evans asked as he dug into his pudding. They listened to Petunia as she went on about the news from her sophisticated all girls' school, but one piece of information caught both of their parents off – guard.

"...And I have a new boyfriend." Petunia concluded. Mrs Evan dropped her spoon, whilst Mr Evans coughed on a piece of mousse.

"Pardon?" He asked as he finally regained control.

"I have a new boyfriend. His name is Vernon Dursley." Petunia said, smiling sweetly at her father, whose face was a mixture of shock and annoyance.

"You haven't mentioned him before, honey. Where did you meet?" Mrs Evans asked, as she regained her composure and picked up her spoon once again. Petunia explained that she had met Vernon at the school dance, when the local boy's school attended; she said that they had found a lot in common, although Lily couldn't see how, Vernon's father ran a up market drills company in which Vernon was an apprentice and hoped to someday become manager. Petunia told them that since the dance they had kept in close contact and that just before the weekend, Vernon had asked her to be his girlfriend, something that she gladly accepted.

"Well, as long as he treats you right. That's what is important." Mr Evans said something that made Viola suddenly glare at her husband.

"Yes. That's what _is _important. Being treated right." Mrs Evans snapped as she got up and collected the plates; leaving the other three looking very startled.

After dinner, as Lily was making her way from the bathroom to her bedroom, she saw Petunia getting ready for bed. Screwing up her courage, Lily knocked on the door. Petunia looked up to see who it was and she fixed Lily with the glower she seemed to reserve especially for her.

"I just wanted to say that I am really happy about Vernon." Lily said, quietly, and to her great surprise, Petunia did not shot back a scorn remark, but instead her glare seemed to improve slightly.

"Thanks." She muttered before returning to her hair. Lily gave a small half –smile and she felt that maybe some good might have come from the holiday. Maybe it was a baby step towards rebuilding their relationship – she would just have to wait and see.

That night as she was lying in her bed, Lily could hear the unmistakable muffled noises of her parents arguing. She caught words like 'unfair' and 'selfish'. She covered her ears in a desperate attempt to shut them out. She just prayed that things would get better while she was a Hogwarts – for all the family's sake, they needed to stick together, for better or worse.

September 1st dawned bright and fresh. The trees that lined the way to King's Cross Station were beginning to show signs of autumn and the air had a slight cold bite to it that told Lily that winter would not be far away.

The station was packed, Lily waited for the worst of the crowd to disperse before she and her mother ran through the barrier to Platform 9 ¾. Lily felt a bubble of excitement in her chest as her gaze fell on the scarlet Hogwarts Express; at that moment she saw Emmeline and Poppy, abandoning her trolley, Lily ran over to them and they exchanged excited welcomes.

"Hello girls. Good summer?" Viola asked Emmeline and Poppy as the three of them walked over to recover Lily's luggage. The two girls gave Mrs Evans a summary of their holidays; they were just finishing when the train's whistle went off. Emmeline and Poppy waved good bye to Viola, Lily gave her mother a kiss on the cheek and then picking up her luggage, she boarded the train.

"I love your Mum, Lils. She's just so sweet, fancy trading?" Poppy joked as they walked down the narrow corridor, looking for a free compartment. Suddenly Lily came face to face with the one person she had least expected to see – James Potter. There was a moment of awkwardness as the two stared at eachother.

"Hi." James said, breaking the silence. Poppy and Emmeline gave Lily a knowing, mischievous look and quickly carried on down the corridor.

"Hello. Did you have a good summer?" Lily replied, trying not to look into his warm hazel eyes.

"Yeah. Not bad. Yourself?" James asked, his normal boastful ego had disappeared and he looked more shy and vulnerable. Lily nodded and there followed another few seconds of silence.

"Listen," James began. "I wanted to say I got your letter and really...you don't have to worry. It's fine."

"No, it's not. I acted rashly and unkindly and I just hope that you can forgive me." Lily said, cutting across James. James suddenly gave a sincere smile.

"Of course I can. I wanted to ask...would it be OK if...if we tried to be...friends?" James stuttered, looking down at the floor. Lily almost breathed a sigh of relief, for a moment she had feared he was going to try and ask her out again; something he had persisted at all fifth year.

"Yes. I think that should be fine." James looked up, obviously stunned.

"Really? Great, great." He said, smiling to himself. Lily laughed at his almost childish nature. After a moment's hesitation, the two of them walked down the corridor and found a compartment. Inside were the rest of James' gang, or The Marauders as they called themselves, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew. Sat with them were Frank and Alice and Emmeline and Poppy. They all stopped what they were doing and looked up as Lily and James entered.

"Hey Evans." Sirius said before he continued talking to Poppy. Remus moved up slightly so that Lily could sit down, whilst James settled himself next to Sirius.

They talked about each others' summers for a little while, and then the subject turned to the next party that the Marauders were planning.

"We have to do it. It's like Christmas or New Year – its tradition and it's a celebration for surviving OWLs. Now _that is _something to celebrate." Sirius said, it was common knowledge around Hogwarts that Sirius always loved a good party, and it was also well – known that the Marauders were the best party planners and hosts bar none.

"I hope you are not planning to steal anything from this party." Lily said, casting a stern look at Sirius, who simply waved off her reprimanding.

"Come on Evans; just put aside your Prefect head for one night – please." He did his best pout and Lily could not help but laugh at how ridiculous he looked.

"Yeah, come on Lil. We need a good party." Emmeline said, whilst Poppy nodded. Even Alice, who was usually not into such wild events, was looking excited by the prospect. Finally, Lily gave in.

"Alright. Fine. Have a massive, chaotic party." The Marauders all gave a cry of joy and shared high fives.

"So, tell Sirius, when will this spectacular event will take place?" Emmeline asked eagerly. Sirius put on a face of mock thought as he finally gave the date.

"I say - next weekend, we will all be ready for then right?" As Lily sat back and listened to all the talk and planning for the party, she could not help but feel exhilarated by these new friends. Perhaps becoming friends with James would turn out be a lot more fun than she had first anticipated.

When the train pulled up at the Hogwarts station, it was dark and Hagrid was already waiting with his enormous lamp to escort the new first years to the boats.

The Great Hall was full of noise as people caught up with each other and talked all about their holidays and how much they had missed each other. Lily was talking animatedly with Alice when Dumbledore stood up to make his annual welcoming speech.

"Good Evening all, well it is nice to see so many new faces amongst so many old ones. Just a few quick words, as I am sure you would like to tuck into our delicious feast. We have a change in staff this year, as Professor Dingle has stepped down as head of Slytherin House; he will be replaced by Professor Slughorn." There was a small applause at this news; although Slughorn was well – liked, he was known for having obvious favouritism which did not stand him in good stead with those who were not considered as such. "And Madam Hooch has informed me that try –outs for the Quidditch team will be held on the field tomorrow evening from six o'clock. Thank you." With that, Dumbledore sat down and food suddenly appeared on everyone's table. There were numerous gasps of wonder from the first years and Lily smiled to herself as she remembered just how astonished she had been on her first evening. The meal passed with the usual gossip and banter from the Marauders and for the first time, Lily was not annoyed by their antics, instead she was amused and even amazed by their wit and humour and most importantly the obvious brotherly bond the four boys shared.

"I saw that at dinner." Alice said in a slightly sing – song voice. It was late and the two of them were walking up the numerous winding stair cases to the Gryffindor common room. Lily turned to her, a look of complete bewilderment on her pale face.

"I'm sorry?" Lily asked quizzically as she stared at her best friend, who was grinning at her deliberately.

"The way you were looking at Potter. Do I detect a romance brewing?" She asked, her bright blue eyes dancing with mischief.

"No you certainly do not." Snapped Lily, affronted, how could Alice, the person who had seen, first hand all the embarrassment that James Potter had put her through think that Lily could ever look at James in that way. "James and I have just decided to try and be friends. Nothing more." She emphasized the last two words. Alice nodded at her as she desperately tried to keep a straight face.

"Whatever you say Miss Evans. But I bet you, that by the end of school days – you and James will be romanced up – like two turtle doves." With that, Alice walked past Lily to the portrait of the Fat Lady, she gave the password (_difficilus amoris_) and walked inside. This left a very confused Lily standing at the portrait hole. As much as she wished it not to be so, there was a small, extremely irritating part of Lily's heart that truly wished Alice's bet would be fulfilled.

"Are you coming inside, or are you going to stand there staring into space?" The sudden voice of the portrait made Lily snap back to reality. She nodded and walked into the hole after her friend. Well, at least you could say that it had been an interesting first day back.

**I hope this chapter was alright. I might not have time to update tomorrow as I am at work but if I can I will. Please read & review. I will update the sequel ASAP. Thanks for reading – Em xx**


	4. Ties Made & Broken

**Chapter 4 – Ties Made and Broken**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter. All rights to J.K Rowling.**

The first day of lessons went by as usual. Lily's last lesson was Potions and as she walked into Professor Slughorn's classroom, a sudden thought made her mind churn. Before, whenever they had brewed a potion, she had been paired with Severus, but now given the...situation, she could not sit with him. Looking quickly around the room, Lily spotted a spare seat, relief flooding through her; she sat down and was just about retrieve her wand from her bag when the sudden presence of another person stopped her.

"Oh...hi Lily." Lily looked up to see a slightly bewildered James. "I wasn't expecting you to sit here." Lily felt her heart sink, which surprised her greatly.

"Sorry. I can move if you like." Lily said, zipping up her bag once again and making to stand up.

"No, no. Please sit. It's fine. I was just surprised." James stuttered and Lily was utterly shocked to see small circles of red appearing on his usually so composed face.

"Hello all. Today we are going to be making the Draught of Living Death. The pair to make it perfectly will win a small vial of Felix Felicis. Can anyone tell me what that is?" Professor Slughorn asked, holding up a small crystal vial with a golden liquid inside. Lily raised a hand tentatively. "Yes?"

"Liquid Luck." Lily said quietly as she stared in awe at the vial. The professor smiled at her and nodded.

"Weldone, Miss Evans. Liquid Luck. You may begin." As the lesson went on, Lily was amazed at James' affiliation with potion brewing. All was going well until the ingredient of root of asphodel. They both reached for the jar at the same time and James' hand ending up covering Lily's on the lid of the jar. Lily felt the heat rise into her cheeks within seconds. James' hand was warm and slightly rough with calluses from years of playing Quidditch. As she chanced a look over at James, she saw that his face was as red as hers; je quickly removed his hand.

"Sorry." He muttered very quietly. Lily looked around quickly in the hope that no one had noticed, satisfied that they had not, she went back to her potion. However, she did not see Severus in the corner of the room, glaring at the two of them; fury was boiling in his brain.

Once all the potions had been brewed, Professor Slughorn went around to each one in turn and tested them. Several brew up in his face or just refused to work. He approached James and Lily's cauldron and placed a green leaf inside; instantly the leaf shrivelled, turned brown and then crumbled into a powder.

"I say! That is fantastic you two. I would say that one drop of this would kill a full grown wizard instantly. Here you go." Slughorn held out the vial and James allowed Lily to take the delicate prize from their teacher.

"Thank you. I couldn't have done it without you." Lily said, as she and James were walking from the classroom to the Gryffindor common room.

"We did it together." James said giving Lily a warm, genuine smile and a half shrug. As James began to walk ahead, Lily found herself pulled to the side of the crowd. Looking for the reason, Lily found herself face to face with an angry looking Severus. Her stomach suddenly felt like it was plummeting down a deep mine shaft.

"What was that with Potter?" He asked, the fury radiating off his skinny form like heat.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Lily said, not meeting his eyes.

"In potions. I saw you." Lily suddenly felt very irritated indeed, how could he speak to her with such accusation after everything he had done, everything he had put her through?

"So what?" Lily said, the harshness of her tone was a surprise, even to her. Severus' tone softened.

"I just don't want to see you get hurt." He said. In years gone by, hearing those words from him would have warmed her heart, but now they just annoyed her.

"Too late for that. You already saw to that yourself." Lily went to push past him, but Severus grabbed her arm with such a tight grip that it almost made her cry out in pain.

"You have to listen to me –" Severus began, but Lily cut across him.

"You say you don't want to hurt me – what do you think you're doing right now?" Lily's eyes flickered to her arm which was quickly losing its feeling. Severus immediately let go of it. Once released, Lily rubbed her arm, which still had white marks where Snape's grip had been, and spun round and walked quickly away from Severus, leaving him looking stricken.

That night Lily lay in bed, millions of thoughts swarming around her mind. Why had she felt like that when James' hand had touched hers? And the strangest thing was that she wanted him to do it again, she wanted to feel the warm of his hand on hers. And when Snape had accused her of having _something _with James in the lesson – what could he have meant? There was nothing between the two of them, or at least she didn't think there was. Screwing her eyes shut, she threw her covers over head and groaned. It had been so much easier when she had hated him; at least then she could be sure of how she felt.

As James was sitting in the common room, joking and fooling around with his friends, he couldn't help his mind drifting to earlier that day when he and Lily had been in potions together. When he had touched her hand, he had not felt cocky or arrogant, he just felt completely and utterly embarrassed. The feel of her smooth, cool skin against his slightly rough fingers had made blissful sparks crackle up and down his spine for the remainder of the class. He was a Marauder, he was James Potter; he could have pretty much any girl in Hogwarts if he so wished to. Why, then was he so damn drawn to the feisty red head, who up until this year could have watched him fall into a pit of venomous snake and not bat an eyelid, heck, she would've been the one to push him in. But he didn't really need to ask, as he already knew the answer; she was special, she was not just some other girl or just some prize to be won. It was like his father had told him, Lily was his Snitch, she was the thing that meant so much to him, and she was the thing that would make everything seem so worthwhile. In previous years, she had been nothing more than a game to him, something which he hated admitting. But something had happened in the last few months and the girl who had just been a mere target had gone deep into him and settled firmly in his heart and refused to move.

"You alright there Prongs?" Sirius' deep voice brought James back to the present and he looked around at his friend and nodded.

"Yeah. Just thinking." He answered. Sirius screwed up his face in disgust.

"_Thinking? _That's a dangerous past time, mate." James laughed along with the rest. He would just have to see what to tomorrow would bring, perhaps it might start to make things clearer.

**I am sorry this chapter is so short – but they will be getting longer – I PROMISE! Please read & review – always looking for new inspirations. Thanks to Imp97 for the Snape/Lily idea and thank you for your continued support – couldn't have written half of what I do without your help **** Thank you – Em xx**


	5. Upset & Effects of Firewhisky

**Chapter 5 – Upset & Effects of Firewhisky**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter. All rights to J.K Rowling.**

As the date of the Marauders' Party got closer and closer, Sirius and James started to become extremely antsy about supplies. It appeared that they might not be enough pixie jelly to go around and the Butterbeer supplies would be extremely difficult to get hold of. Previously, Lily would have spent half her tie chastising them for even thinking of having a party, but this time she was able to view the proceedings from the friend's point of view and she was becoming highly amused by Sirius' stressful attitude. Something that Sirius did not find funny in the slightest.

"If you didn't know, Evans. Planning a party is very hard and we are the Marauders after all, people expect a certain standard." Sirius had explained to her as he began to heave a heavy box of liquorice wands up the stairs to the boys' dormitories, while Lily just sat on one of the squishy sofas in the common room, nodding with mock empathy as she tried with all her will to keep a straight face.

On the day before the party was due to be held, Lily decided she had had enough of the boys' drama for a couple of hours, so she took herself quietly off to the library with Alice, who said that James' consistent whinging was getting a bit too much. They sat in the quiet, musky room for a while, finishing their two – foot long essays on how to block the Cruciatus Curse for Defense against the Dark Arts. After about an hour or two, Alice said she needed to go and find a book for her Ancient Runes essay, which she had tactically left to the last minute. She disappeared amongst the countless rows of books and Lily was just admiring the peace when she felt the bench tip slightly with the weight of another person. Looking to her left, Lily saw Severus sitting on the bench. The anger from their last meeting seemed to have left him and now he looked simply uneasy.

"Can I help you, Snape?" She asked, hearing her use just his last name made him flinch internally. When they were younger she had always called his 'Sev', he supposed that was lost when he called her that terrible word.

"Please don't call me that." He said hopelessly. She gave an exasperated sigh and dropped her quill onto her page.

"What do you want me say? What can I say to you Snape?" She asked desperately, all she wanted was for his to leave her alone so she could get on with her life and try to forget how much he had torn it apart.

"I wanted to warn you about Potter. He is not good for you!" Snape said. Lily turned her head and gave him a look that clearly said 'and why not?'

"You just...you don't know him." Severus said, very quietly. Lily gave a scoff and shook her head in disbelief.

"Knowing someone doesn't mean anything. I thought I knew you." This time Severus really flinched, he should have known that was coming. That was what it all boiled down to. He had betrayed her friendship, lied to her and then done the most despicable and made her feel like she didn't belong or even deserve to be part of this world.

"Lily...I care about you." He said listlessly. He could not bring himself to divulge how much she really meant to him, he couldn't bear the thought of her laughing at his stupidity if he told her just how much he did care for her.

"If you cared about me, then you wouldn't be doing this to me. You would accept my decision and let us both move on." She said, tears of anger and desperation brimming in her bright green eyes. Just at the moment there was a creak of a floor board and Alice was standing in front of the table; looking between the two of them in confusion.

"Is everything alright, here?" She asked worriedly. Lily nodded as she tried to hide the tears that were now trickling silently down her cheeks.

"Yes it's fine. Can we go now, please?" Lily looked up at Alice. She nodded and picked up her books and quills and they promptly left the library. Leaving Snape sitting at the table with tears forming in his own eyes.

"Lil, what happened?" Alice asked as they walked quite face through the corridors, not really sure where they were going.

"He still wants me to forgive him after what he...he said last year. I can't! I can't do it Al!" Lily said, turning to Alice. Alice simply pulled her friend into a hug.

"No one could expect you to forgive him. You gave him all the chances in the world before then and he blew everyone. It's your decision Lily, no one else can make it for you." Alice said her wisdom still astounded Lily on occasion; sometimes she had a much older head on her young shoulders.

"Thanks Al." Lily said, wiping the final tear from her eye. In one move, they both set off again in the direction of the Great Hall.

When Lily woke up the next morning, the first she heard was a considerable amount of banging coming from the next room. Getting out of bed, she pulled on her dressing gown and went to the steps that led to the common room. There, she saw Sirius and Remus Moving the sofas to the sides of the room, making it look considerable bigger, whilst Peter and James were tacking up banners which read: 'Congrats on Surviving OWLs'.

"Do you have to do that this early?" Lily grumbled. James looked round at the sound of her voice and restrained himself from laughing at her grumpy expression and her red hair which was tousled from sleep.

"We have to have enough time to put sticking charms on them before anyone can move them back." Remus explained as he and Sirius moved the last sofa into place and wiped his brow.

"Right." Lily nodded and she went back to her room and got changed into a sweater and a pair of jeans, as the weather in the past week had become much colder. Then she bounced back down the steps and stood with her hands on her hips.

"So – what can I do?" You could have heard a pin drop. All of the Marauders had stopped what they were doing and were all looking at Lily, dumbstruck.

"You..._you _want to help us?" Sirius asked incredulously, whilst James was staring at Lily with a small smile forming on his face.

"Well, you can't beat them, join them." She shrugged as she began to help Remus and Peter cast sticking charms on the chairs and sofas.

"Blimey, Lily must have had a brain transplant during the holidays." Sirius whispered to James.

"I heard that Black." Lily said in a tone that reminded them all of the times when she had told them off last year.

"Well, maybe not completely." Sirius admitted with a slight grin on his handsome face.

After half an hour of preparation, the common room was finally ready for the party and even Lily had to admit, it looked spectacular. The walls had been completely covered in gold and scarlet cloth and Remus had cleverly enchanted the banner so that the words sparkled and every so often a fire cracker exploded from the end.

Lily sat with the Marauders, Emmeline, Alice and Poppy at the Gryffindor table eating what they considered a well – deserved breakfast, when the post began to arrive. It was not long before Lily spotted Pinnam soar in with the other rush of owls and she dropped a small letter in Lily's lap, whilst the barn owl helped herself to a bit of Lily's cereal. Lily began to look more closely at the envelope in her hands. The writing was small and extremely neat and Lily recognised it almost instantly as that as that of her mother's. Smiling, she ripped open the envelope and pulled out the letter. But her smile and her heart sank as she read the contents. Feeling a severe ache in her stomach which had removed her appetite, Lily removed herself from the table and walked quickly and silently from the Great Hall. Most of her company, did not notice her leaving, but Alice who had known Lily since her first day at Hogwarts and knew her friend by heart, could instantly see that there was something _very wrong_.

Lily wound her way through the serpentine corridors, still reading her letter. Somehow she made it to the portrait of the Fat Lady, but she could not remember the password and as the reality of the letter's news hit her properly, she fell against the stone wall and sunk down to the floor and gave way to her tears. She soon became aware of footsteps approaching her, but she hadn't the strength to lift her head to see who it was, nor did she care.

"Lil. what's wrong?" Lily heard Alice's voice ask which was laced with concern and empathy.

"It's my parents...they've split up." Lily said simply, her head still on her knees. Alice's brow creased and she put a hand round Lily's shaking shoulders.

"I'm so sorry. May...may I ask what happened?" Alice asked. Lily closed her eyes, feeling the wetness of her eyelashes on her cheeks as she thought of what her mother had told her.

"It was my Dad. He was having an affair...for...for five months." Lily whispered, her heart breaking a bit more with each word she spoke. Alice was silent, what could she say to that, she could barely believe what she was hearing, Mr Evans, for what Alice had seen of him, had appeared to be a good husband and a doting father, she couldn't even conceive the idea of him having an affair.

"Can I do anything to help?" Alice asked, feeling lost for anything else to say. Lily finally lifted her head. Alice was shocked by her face. Usually Lily was so composed, in fact Alice had barely ever seen her cry, but now she looked like a small, vulnerable child who had lost all hope in the world. It made Alice's heart feel as heavy as lead as she saw her friend in this state.

"No. Thank you, Al. But you can't do anything at all, my Mum doesn't want me to come home – she wants me to be away from it all." Lily said listlessly. Alice nodded in understanding; she helped Lily to her feet and then gave the password to the Fat Lady and took Lily to her bed. There, she wrapped Lily in her covers and sat on the end of the bed until Lily fell into a dreamless sleep.

Lily woke up to find that it was six o'clock in the evening; it was just half an hour until the party started. She sat up and rubbed her eyes, feeling the roughness of old tears on her cheeks. All she wanted to do was to make everything disappear, to fall into a dark pit and never crawl out, but she knew her friends would want her to go.

"Lily?" A voice asked, causing Lily to look up and smile lightly as she saw Alice poking her head around the dormitory door. She came further into the room, shutting the door behind her. "I wanted to know if you wanted me to put a silencing charm on the room so the party noises don't keep you—" Alice began, but Lily shook her head, cutting her friend off.

"No. I want to go." Lily said, her tone slightly wavering with unshed tears. Alice looked at her, gobsmacked.

"Are you sure Lily? You really don't have to."

"I want to go. I need the distraction." Lily said firmly, Alice gave in and smiled wryly at Lily and nodded. She knew that she should let her go if she really wanted to but she also had a strong feeling that Lily would not be in the correct frame of mind for a party.

"Ok. Well I'll see you at the party then." Alice said finally. Giving Lily's knee a supportive pat, Alice rose from the bed and left the room. Lily sighed, her facade crumbling once again, leaving her feeling like a tiny island in the midst of the most ferocious storm. Putting her head in her hands, she tried to take calming breaths, telling herself the same thing over and over again. It was all going to be alright.

As six – thirty approached, Lily got dressed into a knee – length black lace dress, her hair, which she usually took so much care over was just scraped back into a half – hearted pony tail at the base of her neck. Bracing herself, she opened the dormitory door and stepped down the stairs to the common room. There were already a considerable number of people there; mostly from Gryffindor house, but Lily also saw other people which she recognised as Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs.

"Lily! Isn't this great!" Poppy said as she rushed towards Lily like an excitable puppy. Lily smiled, despite her mood, she knew the only real reason why Poppy wanted to attend the party was because she wanted to try and impress Sirius, on whom she had a long – standing crush.

"Yeah. It's awesome!" Lily said unenthusiastically. Poppy, however, was distracted as she saw Sirius approaching with a tray of sugar – glazed cherries and she rushed off to talk to him.

James was watching the party gather momentum with contentment. He always liked a good party, whether as a guest or a host; they always brought people together. Just then, he felt a light tap on his shoulder, turning, he came face to face with a very concerned looking Alice.

"I need to talk to you." She said hurriedly. James, feeling his own heartbeat quickening, nodded.

"Yeah, sure Alice. What's up?" Alice looked as if she felt like she shouldn't be telling him whatever the problem was.

"I need you to keep an eye on Lily tonight." James felt utterly bewildered.

"O- Kay." He said solely, obviously not understanding.

"She got a letter today. Her parents have split up; her Dad was having an affair." Alice explained. James felt his heart go out to Lily. The poor girl, she must be in a right state.

"She said she wants to be at the party for a distraction. But I don't know...I don't feel that she is at all in the right mind set to be at a party. I don't what she might do." Alice said, fear flooding her mind as she thought of all the terribly stupid things that her friend might do in her depression.

"Do you want me to ask her not to come?" James said, hurriedly, his eyes frantically scanning the room for Lily.

"No. You know how stubborn she is. She won't listen." James nodded at this. It was common knowledge that Lily was the most stubborn person besides himself, once she had an idea in her head; she was set on that road until it was complete.

"Alright. Well I'll keep an eye on her. But if things begin to get out of hand then I will have to take some action." James warned, hoping against hope that it would not come to that.

"Thanks James." Alice said, smiling at him gratefully. "You're a good man." She added as she disappeared in the crowd. James smiled after her, she was a sweet girl and a very good friend; they were all lucky to have her. Bracing himself for whatever tonight may throw his way, James went off to try and find Lily.

Lily was standing in the middle of the room, watching the party unfold. But she heard none of the chatter or music, just the terrible words of letter echoing in her brain.

Then, it was like a bubble burst in her brain. After all the stress she had endured since the start of term with Petunia, Severus and now her Dad, she felt like she had no one left who could understand her. All she wanted now was to make all the pain vanish, even if it was just for a little while. Suddenly, Lily spied a tray of Firewhisky shots on a table nearby; she walked straight up to the table and grabbed one of the shot glasses, downing the liquid in one. It burned her throat as it went down, making her choke and splutter, but she didn't care, as long as it would make everything go away.

"What the hell is this?" A voice asked next to Lily. She looked up into the face of James Potter. Although his tone was harsh, the obvious alarm in his face gave away his true emotions.

"I'm getting trashed. Isn't that what you're supposed to do at a party?" Lily snapped, the burn of the Firewhisky still resided in her throat. James didn't know what to say, this is exactly what he had feared, that she would want to get completely drunk in order to try and drown her pain and fury. Lily gave him a dark look, took another glass and vanished into the party. James, now feeling completely lost and useless, followed after her.

It took him quite a while to find her, but when he did it became clear very quickly that she had taken several more shots. She was walking in a zig – zag pattern and looked confused as to how she should put one foot in front of the other. What happened next caused James' heart to plummet, Lily lost her balance and fell, hitting her head on one of the small side tables in the process. James rushed over to her and helped her to her feet. She was holding her head, but, to James' relief, didn't appear to be any blood.

"Are you alright?" He asked her. She was still holding her head and looking down at her feet.

"I'm fine." She answered grumpily. Then her knees buckled beneath her, James managed to catch her before she fell again.

"You're not fine. Come on." James said, putting an arm around her shoulders and supported her towards the portrait hole. Alice suddenly emerged from the crowd, as her eyes fell on Lily, her face fell.

"I need to get her some fresh air." James explained as he took her out of the portrait hole and away from the party. To this day, James did not know quite how he managed to get Lily down the numerous staircases and winding corridors to get outside of the castle.

"Why are you doing this?" Lily asked suddenly. James looked down at her and rolled his eyes, surely she must know why.

"Because you probably have concussion." James said as he sat Lily down on a stone bench outside the castle. Lily turned to him and gave him a sarcastic look.

"You don't care if I never wake up." She said, putting her head in her hands in a vain attempt to stop everything spinning. James was shocked that she could say such a thing, nothing could be further from the truth; but he decided to play along.

"Yes I do. If you didn't then I would have to ask out girls who actually liked me. What would be the fun in that?" He said, they both broke into small, half – hearted peals of laughter. Once their laughter had died away, they sat in silence for several minutes. But it was neither awkward nor painful, instead it was happy and comfortable, both just happy in each other's company.

"Listen, I know you're going to hear this a lot in the next few weeks, but I am sorry about your parents. If there is anything I can do, even if it's to have someone to rant to – I'm here." Lily looked up at him, searching for any sign of sarcasm, but she only saw genuine friendship and the promise support.

"Thanks James. I really do appreciate it." She said, smiling it at him. Then the guilt of the way she had treated him the last few years came spilling out. "I'm sorry for the way I have been with you for the last few months. I blamed you for what happened with Severus, but that was really unfair – he was already long gone before that incident at the lake. It was just the final straw." Lily whispered, looking away from James, she would not have him see her cry.

"I'm sorry too. For all the pain and embarrassment I have caused you over the years. I have been out of late for a long while and I deserved every snide comment you ever threw at me. I really am grateful for you giving me a second chance." James said genuinely. Lily's smile widened as she stared at his kind, handsome face.

"You're not at all as bad as I used to think you were." Lily said jokingly. Then, she did something that surprised herself; she leaned forward to kiss James.

James stared at her, at any other time, he would have loved for Lily to want to kiss him, but this time was different. He did not want to be the guy that took advantage of a girl. That would be immoral of him and he would not do that to Lily, she deserved so much better.

"Maybe we should do this some other time." He said hopelessly. Lily opened her eyes. She stared at him, anger slowly creeping into her green orbs; she gave an angry scoff and began to stomp off back to the castle. Snapping back to reality, James jumped up from the seat and raced after her.

"Lily! Lily, wait!" He called as he caught up with her and caught hold of her arm, which she tried to wrench out of his grip. "Why are you so angry?" He asked her; desperate to understand what she was thinking. She gave him a disbelieving look and shook her head.

"It doesn't matter." She spat as she tried once again to get free. James didn't want to hurt her but he did not want it to end like this.

"Lily just tell me. Please." He said. Lily looked up at him, and then in a single second, all the anger faded from her face, leaving her looking incredibly vulnerable. This scared James to see her look like this, she was usually so strong – now she just looked...broken.

"I can't get close to you." She suddenly shouted. The anguish in her voice weighed down her words like a physical weight.

"Why the hell not?" James asked, finding his voice rising too. He was sick of her building up these walls around her when all he wanted to do was help her and maybe even care for her.

"Anyone I get close to...I end up losing them." Lily admitted, feeling all her strength leave her.

"No you don't –" James started.

"Yes I do! First Petunia, then Severus and now...now my Dad." She said, the pain of the last few hours was suddenly renewed in her heart, making her want to gasp for air.

"It doesn't mean that it will happen with everyone." James tired, but Lily gave a disbelieving laugh.

"I don't want to lose you..." She conceded. Now it was there, her true worries and fears laid out right in front of the boy she had formerly called her 'enemy'. Now she was completely vulnerable.

"You will never lose me. I promise." Lily shook her head, and to her extreme frustration, she felt hot tears streaming down her face. Now he had seen her cry – she had exposed all her weaknesses to one person in the space of just a few minutes.

"How can you _ever _promise something like that?" James shrugged, but his face was not one of amusement but of sincere affection.

"Because if I ever left you, then I know a piece of me would stay with you." He explained, pain was also present in his voice as well. James pulled Lily into him and gave her a long, deep hug as they both cried. They cried for those they had lost, for all the fears they shared but also for the frustration that they knew how they felt about each other but they were both too stubborn to admit it.

James drew back and they stared at each other, green eyes to hazel ones.

"Do you want to go back to the party?" he asked carefully. Lily shook her head.

"No. I think I'll stay out here for a bit." She whispered, as she walked over to the stone bench and sat down. To her pleasant surprise, James came and sat next to her.

Perhaps, in time, she could trust herself to get close to him. Perhaps, one day she could trust him with all her fears. She may even one day, be able to trust him with her heart. She would just have to see how things went, day by day.

**Well I hope you like it – I will update soon & will update the sequel hopefully tomorrow **** Hope you are all alright **** Em xx **


	6. The Thrill of a Game

**Chapter 6 – The Thrill of a Game**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter. All rights to J.K Rowling. **

Lily was greeted the next morning by a stinking headache. She groaned as she turned over; she would never, as long as she lived drink that much ever again. As she lay looking up at the ceiling, all of the previous day's events came rushing back to her all at once, making her head pound even more. She felt the ache in her heart as she remembered the letter from her mother, although it was not as acute as it had been before. She also remembered the conversation with James which made her smile slightly. He had shown himself to be a really good guy, as well as a true gentleman.

"Hey." Came a tentative voice from the door. She raised her head painfully and saw a sympathetic Alice coming into the room.

"Al, tell me the truth – how much did I drink last night?" She asked, as she went back to looking at the ceiling; she didn't want to embarrass herself by seeing her friend's facial expression.

"Too much." Alice replied simply. Then she gently placed her want to Lily's temple and muttered a short spell. Instantly a warm and comforting feeling came over Lily's brain and the pain slowly ebbed away. She looked over at Alice and gave her a smile of unalloyed appreciation.

"Thanks Al; but can I ask – what was that?" Lily asked.

"A Pain Curing Charm twinned with a heat spell." Alice said, twiddling her wand. Lily smiled; Alice had always had a real knack with charms, especially healing charms. "How are you feeling?" Alice asked suddenly. Lily shrugged.

"I don't know. I just feel kinda numb now; I don't really know what to feel." Lily felt terrible, she knew she should feel terribly sad, and she did, but in a way, she felt relieved. For months before the truth surfaced, her Dad's absences had caused her mother such anxiety and trauma, at least now she knew the real reason.

"Do you want to come down to breakfast?" Alice asked. Lily nodded, she knew that she should not dwell on her sadness as it wouldn't help the situation and a bit of food might help her hangover. Alice smiled and left the room for Lily to get changed. Lily got up and dressed in her school uniform; as she brushed her hair, she caught sight of herself in the small table mirror. Her face was a couple of shades paler than usual and her eyes had a slight pink – rimmed look to them, but there were n other signs of her upset or her over indulgence of Firewhisky. Clipping a few stray strands of auburn hair into place, Lily went down the steps to the common room. Alice was sitting on the arm of one of the red sofas, she looked up as Lily came down the stairs, she gave her a pleasant smile and they exited through the portrait hole together.

As they entered the great hall, Lily saw to her relief that there were very few people there. She did not think she could face too many people today. As she sat down on the Gryffindor table, Lily picked up a piece of toast, but instead of eating it, she simply picked it apart until she had just a plateful of crumbs. Just as she was about to leave the table there was a sudden noise of boyish laughter. Looking to the entrance of the hall, Lily saw the Marauders, led by James walking down the length of the tables; they came to a stop opposite where Alice and Lily were sitting. As James and Lily's eyes met across the table, there was a crackle of electricity between that was invisible to all except themselves.

"Good Morning." James said as he helped himself to a piece of toast.

"How are you feeling today, Evans?" Sirius asked jokingly as he piled his plate up with sausages and bacon. Lily wrinkled her nose in disgust as he shoved a whole spoonful in his mouth and chewed loudly.

"Better than you look right now." She said cheekily, causing James, Remus and Peter to laugh while Sirius fixed them all with a death glare.

"Very funny." Sirius muttered as he swallowed his mouthful, but Lily was certain she saw a hint of a smile on his face.

"So are you ready for Potions, Lily? Maybe Slughorn will give us another prize." James said smiling, something that made Lily's stomach do a tiny somersault.

"Yeah. Perhaps." Lily said quietly. After last night, she wasn't sure quite how to act around him.

After breakfast, Lily and Alice walked to lessons together; reaching Slughorn's classroom, they separated to their own desks. Lily sat down on her rickety stall and pulled out her quill and wad of parchment when she heard James' voice beside her.

"I'm sorry?" She asked, missing what he said the first time.

"Quidditch." He replied simply. Lily looked at him, nonplussed.

"What about it?"

"There is the first game of the term today." He said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Lily smiled, feeling slightly daft.

"Yes?" She said. She still couldn't see what he was getting at.

"Are you going to go?" He asked, trying to sound casual. Lily shrugged, she had never been a huge fan of Quidditch; but she knew Alice liked it so she often went with her.

"I don't know..." She trailed off, a look of hurt flashed across James face which made Lily feel terribly guilty.

"Come on. You can see me act like an idiot – that always cheers you up – right?" Lily laughed with him and smiled with gratitude. She knew that he was just trying to make her happy.

"OK. I'll go, but just to laugh at you." She said light-heartedly. James gave her his trademark lopsided smile and nodded.

"Deal." He said, shaking her hand. The feel of his rough palms brought back memories of their last potions letter; feeling herself starting to colour up, Lily turned back to the front, where Slughorn was writing up ingredients on the board.

The lesson continued in an easy and light – hearted manner. The two of them chatted and joked as they brewed their potion.

"Damn." James piped up suddenly. "We're out of powdered monkfish." He said, holding up the empty jar. He stood up and went to the student store cupboard to collect some more supplies, Lily carried on adding the other ingredients to their potion that was now turning from brown to a golden caramel colour. Then Lily felt the presence of someone beside her, thinking it was James, she simply carried on stirring the potion.

"Lily, can I talk to you after potions?" Came the slow voice beside her. She new right away that it wasn't James. It was Snape. Trying to calm both her worry and her irritation, she turned her head to look at him.

"No, sorry I am watching the Quidditch game." She said plainly, turning her focus back to the contents of the cauldron. Snape stared at her disbelievingly and scoffed slightly.

"You don't even like Quidditch." He stated with a hint of resentment in his cold voice. Lily closed her eyes for a moment as she desperately tried to not lash out at him, but he was making it very difficult.

"Well maybe I've changed my mind." She added shortly. Snape looked at her, his face torn between bitterness and jealousy.

"Is that because _Potter _is playing." He said James' name as if it was a bad taste in his mouth that he urgently wanted to be rid of. Lily rolled her eyes, would he ever grow up?

"What is your problem?" She asked quietly, but there was a definite knife's edge to her words that let Snape know he should tread very carefully.

"He is not as wonderful as you think he is." Snape tried again to convince her that Potter had not truly changed and that he was the same arrogant, bullying idiot he had always been. "I don't think you should be friends with him." One look at Lily's face told Snape he had crossed the line. She glared at him with a smouldering fury in her eyes that Snape had never seen before.

"You have _never _had the right to tell me who I can and cannot be friends with. And you certainly gave up any sort of right when you called me a _Mudblood_." Lily hissed in an angry whisper. The last word made Snape flinch.

"Is everything OK here?" A dubious voice asked. Lily looked up to see James standing with the now full jar in his hands and he looked cautiously from Snape to Lily.

"Yes. Snape was just leaving." She said pointedly. She fixed Snape with a very cold look. Glaring at James with a loathing that all but radiated out of, Snape got up and moved back to his desk. James watched his retreating form with a look in his eyes that resembled both hatred and protectiveness.

"Are you sure you're OK?" James asked as he sat back down on his chair. Lily took a deep breath a forced a small smile.

"Yeah. I'm fine." They did not speak much throughout the remainder of the class and Lily was happy when the lesson finished so she could escape the tense atmosphere.

"Right, well, I'll see you at the game." James said a glimmer of hope in his voice. Lily smiled and nodded.

"I'll be there." She said. With a final smile at her, James disappeared into the crowd that was thronging in the direction of the Quidditch pitch.

That is where Lily found herself an hour later, in the high, chilly stands on the pitch. As Madame Hooch walked onto the pitch, all the players mounted their brooms and as the whistle blew, they all kicked off from the ground and soared into the sky.

As the game began to gather momentum**, **Lily found herself quite enjoying it. She watched as the different players dipped and dived around eachother and quaffles were placed into the hoops. Despite all the action, Lily constantly found her eyes were pulled back to where James was flying. She watched as he sped past the Ravenclaw fliers, he was an impressive flier, she would give him that.

As the game continued it became more and more hectic and fast – paced until Lily could hardly keep up with it anymore. Just as Lily was finally beginning to get a real idea of the game, the Gryffindor seeker, Curadh, caught the Snitch and the game finished with Gryffindor beating Ravenclaw, 270 points to 120.

Many people in the stands ran out onto the slightly muddy pitch to congratulate the winning team. Lily followed them, a little way behind. She reached the team just as the majority of the crowds dispersed and her eyes fell on James; who upon seeing her grinned widely.

"OK, let's hear it. How stupid did I look?" He asked, expecting to hear how dangerous and impractical the game was.

"Not at all. I thought you flew beautifully actually." Lily said truthfully, and she laughed quietly at James' utterly bemused expression.

"Really?" He asked, shocked. Lily giggled and nodded.

"Yes. I wish you had persuaded me to come before. It's really quite enjoyable." She said, and giving him a final smile, she turned round and walked in the direction of the castle. Leaving James staring after her like a goldfish out of water. She now loved Quidditch? What had happened to the fifth year Lily who would have rather died than watch five minutes of a game? Shaking his head in confusion, James followed his teammates to the changing rooms.

"So, you and Evans eh?" An obnoxious voiced asked. James looked up from untying his boots. He met the knowing and annoying face of Harley Mayden.

"We are just friends." James said pointedly. He had never been a fan of Mayden. He knew very well of his reputation as being a womanising idiot.

"Oh well that's good as I would just _love _to take her to Slughorn's next Christmas Party." Mayden said as he continued to change into his school uniform. But James was staring at Mayden with a funny ringing in his ears.

"I don't think she's really your type Mayden. Isn't your type more...willing?" James asked with a sarcastic tone. He knew very well that Mayden was one for going after the more easy girls. Mayden stopped doing up his tie and glared a James; a look that, for some reason, unsettled James greatly.

"Are you prepared to bet that?" He purred with a smirk on his face. James shook his head, not quite believing how pathetic Mayden actually was.

"Don't talk about her like that. She's not some prize to be won." James said chivalrously. He would never want to think of Lily as a mere object, she was far too precious for that.

"Well, we'll see just who wins her." Mayden said, ignoring James' previous comment. Giving James a final sneer, Mayden picked up his bag and his broom and exited the changing room.

James stared after him, feeling utterly lost. He did not want to treat Lily like a toy or a trophy. He knew she was far better than that. But he also knew that Mayden was nowhere near good enough for a special girl like Lily. Breathing deeply, James nodded to himself. If it was a fight Mayden wanted, then it was a fight he would get.

**I hope this chapter is OK. Sorry the last few have been short – family stuff has meant that I haven't had as much time as I would have liked. Please read & review – love to hear all your ideas & opinions – Thanks all so much – Em xx**


	7. Shedding Light on the Matter

**Chapter 7 – Shedding Light on the Matter**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the Harry Potter universe. All rights to J.K Rowling. **

As November faded into December, the sky grew greyer and the weather turned bitterly cold with the promise of snow. Due to the cold snap, many students came down with sudden colds and Madame Pomfrey had to brew up an extra batch of cold relief syrup. It was as they entered the second week of December that Lily noticed just how ill Remus looked. His usually pale face was a grim shade of grey and his school uniform was hanging even more limply on his skinny form.

"I'm worried about Remus." Lily whispered to Alice as they sat next to eachother in their Transfiguration lesson; they were very careful not to let Professor McGonagall catch them talking in her class, as she took such crimes very seriously. Alice gave her a confused look.

"He looks so ill all of a sudden." She whispered as she carried on making notes. Alice looked up briefly from her own parchment.

"But he always looks quite ill." Alice replied. It was very true, Remus did often look ill, but Lily had begun to notice recently that there were certain periods where he became increasingly unwell.

"He looks worse than usual." Lily muttered, more to herself than to Alice. Her mind still reeling, Lily continued with her notes. If she could just speak to Remus and just ask if he was alright, or if there was anything she could do for him, then she might feel better.

It was as Lily was walking with Emmeline and Poppy to an extra Potions class that Lily finally got the chance to ask her questions. As they were crossing the large, square courtyard, Lily saw Remus sitting on the edge of the well that was in the centre of the courtyard, looking into the watery depths with a half – glazed expression on his young face.

"You go along. I'll catch up." Lily said to the other two as she walked over to where Remus was sitting. Emmeline and Poppy shrugged at eachother and carried on towards their lesson.

Lily reached the well and gingerly sat down on the stone edge. There was a minute of silence as Remus continued to stare into the dark hole. Then, slowly, he turned to face her and Lily was slightly shock to see just how gaunt and hollow his face looked.

"Remus, are you alright?" She asked, her heart going out to her friend. Remus tried to force a smile but it looked very painful.

"Yeah...I'm fine." He said simply as he started to stare into mid air. But Lily was not stupid, he knew that and he also knew that she would keep asking until he gave her some sort of answer; not because she was nosy or rude but because she was kind and just wanted to help.

"You know, you are good at many things Remus; but lying just isn't one of them." She said, giving him a small smile as she attempted to lighten the mood. Remus joined her in a smile, he was truly grateful for her effort.

"It's just stuff going on right now. I'm sorry to say that I cannot tell you about it. I wish I could...but I just...can't" He looked up at her, expecting her to be angry that he did not share his problems with her. Instead, she gave him an empathetic look.

"Well, whatever it is, I hope it works out for you." She smiled at him, hoping to cheer him up just a little bit. She knew what it was like to have problems that you couldn't really share. "I'll always be here for you. If you ever need me, I mean." She added genuinely and she placed her hand on his for a moment and gave it a supportive and friendly squeeze. Remus gradually looked up at Lily and he felt his cheeks colour slightly; he gave her a firm nod.

"I know, I know. Thank you Lily, it means a great deal to have friends like you." He said, his cheeks still feeling warm. Lily gave his hand one last squeeze before she got up and went to her potions lesson.

Remus watched her retreating figure until it had disappeared from sight. _I hope it works out for you. _If only his problem could be solved so easily, but his dilemma could not be ended with a few kind words or a little drop of medicine. He was a werewolf, a monster. He had been so for most his childhood and now for the rest of his adult life – that would never, ever change. He would always be a dark creature who never really belonged anywhere. Attempting to pull himself together, he pushed himself off the well and decided he would go to Madame Pomfrey. It would be night soon; it would be time to unleash the wolf.

After her extra Potions lesson, to which Lily had played little attention to, she decided to go to the library and finish her essay on Sirens for Defense Against the Dark Arts. As she entered the dusty and stale room, Lily noticed that she was just one of the very few students there. Many were packing ready to go home for the Christmas Holidays. Lily did not want to pack yet – she did not really want to think about going home, not quite yet anyway.

Putting her quill and what she had written of her essay so far on a vacant desk, Lily scanned the rows of mouldy covers until her gaze settled on one entitled: _Dark Beasts of Both Land & Sea. _Deciding that this sounded like a hopeful option, Lily heaved the large volume from it place on the shelf. As it fell into her arms, she tottered backwards a little. The book was enormous and Lily guessed it weighed about as much as she did and the dust had created a cloud around her, which settled silently, coating her hair and clothes in grey. Once she had managed to dump the book onto the desk with a considerable _thump _that echoed around the deathly quiet room, Lily dusted herself off and sat down. She searched through the battered and yellowed pages for some time before she came to a section on mermaids and sirens. The book turned out to be very useful indeed. Just as she was finishing her last sentence of her essay, her grip on the page slipped and the pages flitted fast until they stopped near the back of the book.

Swearing quietly, Lily was about to try and find her page again when something caught her eye. It was talking about symptoms and characteristics of lycanthropy. The book read:

_Lycanthropy is a terrible condition which is often forced on the victim. Many changes take place on the victim after they have turned from human to werewolf; one such change is the monthly transformation at the time of the full moon. However a fortnight prior to this date, the victim will start to feel very ill indeed. They will show signs similar to that of serious illnesses such as influenza and choking disease; such as severe weight loss, lack of colouring in the face._

_One of the other main factors of lycanthropy is their supreme heat radiation; they will have much hotter blood than the average human, due to the wolf blood running through their veins. This heat will be obvious just from touch..._

Lily slammed the book shut. She could scarcely believe what she was reading. Yes, Remus had been looking ill, but so had a lot of people, it was something that happened during winter. But what about the other characteristic; when Lily had touched Remus' hand, she had been surprised by the sheer warmth of it compared to his pale visage.

She shook her head vigorously. It just couldn't be; Remus always seemed so sweet and gentle and he did not have a violent bone in his body. But then again, the book had said that lycanthropy was not usually chosen by the victims and she had been told before that after their transformation, werewolves could not remember who they were. Maybe it was true; he was always particularly ill at a certain time each month and when Severus had been so interested in their activities, he had said that he disappeared at the same time as the full moon. She had not wanted to believe it then; she had just taken it as Severus being paranoid. But now, now she was at sea, all the evidence was pointing towards it.

Lily rubbed her eyes hard as she tried to clear her mind; she needed to think, she knew Remus, she had known him since their very first day at Hogwarts. He had been the only Marauder Lily would tolerate, he was smart and sweet and when they had been prefects together in fifth year, they had become very good friends. She knew that Remus would never have had this condition out of choice and she knew that he was not malicious at all; she knew who the real Remus was, despite this. This would change nothing as far as she was concerned.

That night Lily could not sleep, her head kept filling with images of Remus transforming into a giant wolf with burning red eyes. In the end, Lily decided to get up and try to get some fresh air; she crept out of the portrait hole and walked numbly through the hallways until she found herself on the edge of the forbidden forest. Taking a deep breath, she walked cautiously inside, treading carefully over the twig and logs that lay in her path. That is when she heard it, the thunder of paws; spinning around, Lily just caught sight of a monstrous shadow before she felt a searing pain in her right shoulder. She fell to the ground gasping, she looked around her and saw to her horror, and the demon shadow was walking towards her, drooling horridly. Lily closed her eyes as she waited for the pain of its jaws to sink into her, but no pain came instead a second thunder of feet and a tall shadow reared up in front of the giant wolf and scared it away. Feeling her energy ebb away, Lily fell into a pit of darkness.

"She was very lucky not to be worse off!" a female voice said. Lily's eyes fluttered open and as her vision began to focus, she looked around her. She realised quickly that she was lying in the Hospital Wing. As she tried to sit up, she felt an acute pain in her shoulder that made her gasp out loud.

"Miss Evans, you're awake!" Madame Pomfrey said as she came bustling over to check Lily's temperature.

"What happened?" Lily asked slowly as she tried to piece together the events of the previous night. Madame Pomfrey stopped what she was doing and gave her a grave look.

"You were attacked by a werewolf in the Forbidden Forest. You were lucky you are not dead." She said seriously as she checked her temperature and poured out some medicine into a cup. "Here – drink this, it will help with the inflammation." Lily took the cup from her and swallowed the contents. It tasted like rotten eggs and she choked slightly as it went down her throat.

"That was my fault – I went out there when I shouldn't have." Lily said looking down; she should have known it would be a stupid idea to even think about entering the forbidden forest.

"I'll admit, it was a foolish thing to do. But it was an accident." Madame Pomfrey said as she checked Lily's shoulder. For the first time Lily looked at her injury. The part that wasn't covered in bandage was covered in a nasty, deep scratch that looked raw and painful. "That looks better than it did last night." The nurse murmured as she re – covered Lily's injury and gave her an encouraging smile. "Well you have a couple of visitors if you are happy to see them." She said, gesturing towards the door; Lily nodded, grateful for something to distract her from the fizzing pain in her shoulder. Madame Pomfrey opened the great wooden doors of the Hospital Wing, revealing the two very worried faces of James and Alice. Upon seeing her awake, a large weight seemed to be raised from their shoulders; they rushed over to her bed and sat on the edge of it. Alice gripped her hand in a sisterly way and gave her a very small smile.

"How are you feeling?" She asked, although the worry had vanished from her face, it was still clearly evident in her voice.

"I'm OK – I guess. I can't really remember anything." She said, her mind was still scrambled.

"Well, I woke up quite early and I saw you were missing. So I went looking for you and...Then James came out of the forest carrying you..." Alice trailed off, seeing Lily limp in James' arms had been one of the scariest moments in her life. James looked over at her and gave her an encouraging smile.

"I remember seeing...seeing a big beast...with big jaws." Lily whispered as the image of the monster flashed through her mind making her jump slightly. As she looked up at the faces of her friends, she saw that Alice was looking at her with fear in her bright blue eyes, but James was looking incredibly uncomfortable.

"So...what happened?" Alice asked in a small voice. Lily closed her eyes as she desperately tried to recall just what she had seen.

"It was coming towards me and then...I saw...something, something scared it away. It was like a horse or a deer...it reared up and charged the monster away." Lily said slowly as the fragments of the night before began to fall into place. There was a sudden cough; Lily looked over to see James giving her an expression between surprise and concealment.

"A...a deer?" He said unsurely.

"I think so...I don't really remember." Lily replied honestly, it was all still such a blur.

They talked for a little while longer before Madame Pomfrey shooed James and Alice away telling them she needed plenty of sleep and they could visit her tomorrow. As the silence fell once more, Lily was left to her thoughts. She dreadfully wanted to know what had really happened last night, but there was also a big part of her that feared that whatever the truth was; it was far worse than the not knowing.

James walked up to the portrait hole alone as Lily's words ran through his mind. She had seen Remus in full transformation and not only that; she had seen him in his animagus form.

As James gave the password to the Fat Lady and entered the Gryffindor common room, he was approached by Remus who looked like he was going through some severe mental torment.

"How is she?" He asked his face full of anxiety.

"She's alright. She can't really remember what happened." James said, he didn't want to add to Remus' worry by saying that Lily had seen him as a full – fledged werewolf.

"I can't believe what I did." Remus sighed as he fell into the spare sofa next to Sirius and Peter who were looking at him with friendly concern. "I could have killed her. God knows what would have happened if you hadn't stopped me." Remus said, putting his tired face into his hands and he suddenly looked at least ten years older.

"Remus, it's not your fault. You can't control it, no one can." Sirius said gravely, he hated to see his friend beat himself up for something he had never chosen in the first place. It just wasn't fair.

"Yeah, you cannot blame yourself." Peter added hopelessly. But they all knew that Remus would never be able to forgive himself for this.

"Dumbledore will never let me stay. Why should I? I almost killed someone!" Remus groaned. Tears began to fill in his eyes and he rubbed his eyes, trying to get rid of the tears.

"Of course he will! You know Dumbledore, he is not like other wizards, and he knows you Remus. He will never throw you out." James said, he knelt down in front of Remus and gave him a completely solemn.

"Yeah..." Remus murmured, without another word he got up and went to the boys' dormitories. The other three were left staring after him, completely at sea.

"You need to talk to Lily, mate." Sirius said turning to James. "You need to explain to her."

"What about your absolute rule of never letting Remus' 'furry little problem' out of our group?" James asked as he clearly remembered when Sirius had made them all make a pact to never tell anyone else of Remus' condition, no matter what the circumstances.

"This is different. She will understand mate, you know that just as well as I do. She is not just anyone." Sirius said, nodding at his best friend. He knew Lily would never change her view of Remus and that she would only ever want to help.

"OK. OK. I'll visit her in the hospital wing tomorrow and I'll tell her then." James said, standing up and making his way towards his dormitory. He knew that was going to be a very difficult conversation.

**Well I hope you liked this chapter. Please read & review. Will update the sequel probably tomorrow **** Hope you're all alright **** Em xx**


	8. Friendships & Parties

**Chapter 8 – Friendships & Parties**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the Harry Potter Universe. All rights to J.K Rowling.**

As James sat in his last lesson the next day, he felt his heart pounding a little fast with each second that ticked by. He knew he had to speak to Lily, tell her what she had seen and what it all meant but he was scared to. Scared for his friend, he did want to see Remus be shunned again for something he could not control, he was scared for Lily, and he did not want to make her fearful of one of her best friends.

When the time came for the class to leave, James quickly packed up his books and practically ran to the Hospital Wing; if it was going to be a horrible conversation, he'd rather get it over with now.

Lily was sitting up in bed reading one of her muggle books (_White Fang_). She looked up from the pages as she heard the door opening. She smiled and put down her book when she saw who it was.

"Hi James. Come to stop me going mad with boredom?" Lily asked as James sat down on the visitor's chair beside the bed.

"I brought you some work. Sorry, there is plenty of Transifiguration – McGonagall is a slave driver." James said and he put the sizable stack of papers on the bedside table.

"Well it'll all be worth it in the end." Lily said as she quoted her favourite catch phrase. James smiled to himself, Lily had never grumbled about work load. "James, is there something wrong?" Lily asked as she caught a glimpse of James' somewhat pained expression. James sighed quietly, how was he going to break this to her?

"Lil, I need to talk to you about something and its going sound weird and maybe a bit scary." He said carefully, Lily furrowed her brow and sat up straighter in her bed.

"Alright." She said, feeling slightly apprehensive about what he was going to tell her.

"First of all, what you saw in the forest...it was Remus. He was the creature you saw. Remus is a werewolf, Lily." He began, he kept his eyes adverted. To his surprise, when he did finally look at her, she did not looked worried or angry, but she just had an expression of quiet acceptance.

"I know." Lily said so quietly James almost didn't hear her.

"You know? How...?" James was now completely confused.

"Well I didn't know exactly, but I had an idea...it just fitted together." She said as she tried to explain just how all the things she had seen and heard had all pointed to the same conclusion.

"And you're not scared at all?" James asked, to his immense relief, she shook her head.

"Ofcourse not. I was scared last night. But I know Remus, he is a true gentlemen without a hint of cruelty in him; he did not choose this life. He is a wonderful man and if people were not blinded by his condition then they would see that too." Lily said, James was smiling at her, Sirius had been right, she had seen past his illness to the true Remus, the one they all knew and had grown to love.

"I hoped you would say that." James admitted, Lily smiled at him; then became sombre once more.

"What else did you want to tell me?" She asked, her voice now dubious. James looked at her and ran his thoughts over again in his head before he told her the other information.

"You said yesterday that you had seen something drive Remus away, like a deer." He said, reminding her. Lily nodded slowly as she recalled her words. "That was a stag...it was me." He said, watching her face the entire time. She frowned at him, baffled; what on earth could he mean, how could he be a stag? Unless...

"An Animagus." She said timidly and James nodded his head again. "You're an animagus?" She asked, trying to make sure she was right.

"Yes, me, Sirius and Peter – we all are." James said softly and to his extreme surprise Lily did not look furious but instead she looked...impressed.

"That's pretty advanced magic." She said, her tone full of awe. "But, why?" James then told her all about how they learned to transform to keep Remus company during the full moon and how they had kept his secret just between the four of them for all this time.

When James finished, Lily was looking at him with soft tears brimming in her bright green eyes.

"You are truly wonderful friends." She whispered, a silent tears rolling down her cheek. "Remus is very lucky to have the three of you." Seeing the stray tear, James leaned forward and brushed it away with his thumb.

"We are all lucky to have eachother." He said as he sat back again. Lily smiled at him, she had never known this side of James, but she loved it.

"I want to help, in any way I can." Lily said suddenly. Then as a sharp shot of pain went through her scratched shoulder, she was suddenly filled with a terrible thought. "How is Remus after...after last night?" James looked at her again, this time with a very grim expression on his handsome face.

"He feels awful. He has been beating himself up about injuring you since he transformed back." James admitted with a sad look in his hazel eyes. Lily, all of a sudden felt extremely guilty indeed.

"But it's not his fault, it was mine!" She cried, ignoring the pain as she sat right up in her bed. "I shouldn't have gone into the forest; I should have noticed that it was a full moon." She said, her voice decreasing to a hoarse whisper. James shook his head sadly.

"We've told him that. But he just won't listen; he is just too prepared to see the badness in him." He said softly as he thought to just how terribly guilty and traumatised Remus had looked when he had heard what he had done to Lily.

"I need to talk to him. Now." Lily said, making to get out of bed. There was a great deal of noise from the corner of the room as Madame Pomfrey came rushing over, ready to push Lily back into bed.

"Miss Evans, you need rest." She said firmly as she tried to make Lily sit back down without hurting her further. But Lily gave the nurse an understanding but defiant look.

"Madame Pomfrey, I am fine, really. Please, there is something I urgently need to do. If I feel faint or even just a little unwell, I will come back." She promised as she looked at the older woman. Madame Pomfrey looked at her with her traditional stern expression for a moment before her face relaxed and she stood aside.

"Alright. But you must come back if you feel _at all _unwell. Do you understand?" Madame Pomfrey instructed firmly. Lily nodded in reply, afraid to get onto the wrong side of the school nurse.

Lily and James quickly exited the Hospital Wing and practically ran to the Gryffindor Common room. Upon entry, James immediately spotted Remus sitting on the sofa next to the orange fire that was crackling away merrily, quite opposite to Remus' expression which was very dismal – looking. Lily looked over to James and nodded to him, she had to do this herself. Warily, Lily walked up to the sad – looking boy and stood next to where he was sitting; it took a few minutes, but at last Remus dared to look up at her, although every muscle in his face convulsed as he did so, as if it was trying to pull away.

"Remus, can I talk to you?" She asked delicately, she did not want to worry him or upset him. Remus nodded, his attention now turned back to the dancing flames. "In private." Lily added pointedly, Remus' head snapped back to her and fixed her with a terrified expression. "Please..." Lily begged; she needed him to see she was neither going to blame nor hate him – she wanted to help him. With every ounce of both physical and mental strength, Remus raised himself off the sofa and followed Lily out of the Common room. They exited through the portrait hole and descended a couple of staircases before Lily sat down on one secluded stairs and indicated that Remus should do the same.

"Remus. I don't know how to say this...I know...I know what you are." She said, almost inaudibly. Remus felt his heart sink a hundred metres. This is exactly what he had been afraid of, that someone, like Lily, would find and then would hate him forever because he was...a monster.

"I can understand if you want to keep away from me or-" Remus began but Lily cut him off quickly.

"No! That's not what I want at all. I don't care about your condition, it changes nothing for me. _Nothing! _I know you, the real you – you are kind and sweet and a real gentlemen and maybe if people could open their eyes just a little, they would see past this and see the Remus that we all know and love." Lily said, she would not see a dear friend of hers punish himself for something that he was not.

"You don't care that I hurt you?" He asked disbelievingly. Lily smiled slightly and shook her head.

"You didn't do it on purpose. That was not you that night; I would never blame you for anything like that." She said firmly as she kept her gaze firmly of Remus, who was doing anything possible not to look at her face.

"I want to help...if you'll let me." Lily said her tone once again tender. Remus finally forced himself to look into her face which showed no hint of fear or repulsion but just friendly support and fondness.

"Alright." Remus replied and for the first time in several days, he smiled a true smile that reached his eyes. "I don't want to lose you as a friend Lil." He replied honestly. Lily gave him a smile of pure kindness, leaned forward and gave Remus a long, comforting hug.

"Nor I with you." Lily whispered into his shoulder. They pulled apart and smiled at eachother, chuckling slightly. Remus stood up and offered Lily a hand; she took it and they walked back to the common room together, the atmosphere considerable better than when they had come down the stairs.

As the Christmas holidays drew nearer and nearer, so did Slughorn's Christmas party. Most years Lily enjoyed the party, but this year was not the same. In the past, she and Severus had gone together as just friends, but now that could not happen, she would have to start looking for a real date.

"So, who are you going with to Slughorn's do?" Emmeline asked in a cheeky tone over breakfast one morning a week before the party. Lily looked up from her cereal and shrugged.

"No idea...who are you going with?" Lily asked, sensing that her friend was very happy about something. Emmeline smiled again, her cheeks colouring slightly.

"Remus." She said very quietly. Lily grinned at her friend. She could not say she was surprised; they had been spending a great deal of time together during the past few months.

"Well, well, well. I wondered just when that was going to happen." Lily said audaciously, just as Poppy came and joined them at the table.

"What's that?" She asked, looking from one friend to the other.

"Emmeline is going to Slughorn's Christmas party with Remus." Lily filled Poppy in, who turned to Emmeline with a big smile on her face.

"Awww, that's so cute!" She exclaimed. Emmeline rolled her eyes and put her head in her arms. She didn't know why Poppy had to make a big deal about anything with a guy; it didn't always mean that much.

"Yes, OK. It's all very adorable, can we drop it now." Emmeline said tetchily as she picked up her bag and swung it over her shoulder and began to leave. Poppy and Lily looked at eachother and smiled, this was going to be a fun day.

"So, Sluggie's Party this weekend. Who are you taking?" Sirius said to James as they were leaving the Great Hall. Sirius had made it very clear at the start of term that he would not attend one of Slughorn's Christmas parties, or really any party that he had not organised. James shrugged at his friend, he still had no idea. It was not as though he had no options; many of the girls who were part of the Slug Club had been making moony eyes at him whenever possible.

"Why not take Lily?" Remus added as he caught up with the other two. James looked over at him. He wanted to take her, but although he was ashamed to admit it, he was just too scared to ask her.

"I thought you might be going with her." James tried unconvincingly. Remus gave him a sudden look that said 'I don't believe you'. Then a thought popped in James' head. "Wait a minute. Who are you going with then?" James asked abruptly. Remus looked down and went very red and mumbled something none of the others could hear.

"Sorry, mate didn't catch that!" Sirius said, a little too loudly. Remus shot him a dark look, and then raised his voice a little.

"Emmeline." He muttered and Sirius' eyes widened.

"Moony, you old dog! You kept that one quiet!" He said in a loud whisper. Remus couldn't help but smile. He had always thought Emmeline was attractive, not only because she was pretty in looks, but also because she was very intelligent, probably one of the main reasons she had been sorted in Ravenclaw.

"Well, now you have no excuse. You have to ask Evans now." Sirius said giving James a playful nudge in the ribs. James smiled, but his heart was beating so fast it hurt – what if she said no? What if he ruined this friendship which had taken so long to build?

As the week end drew closer and closer, Lily began to feel very silly indeed. She still had no date, she had had offers but they were either too young or just not really her type. To her immense surprise and aggravation, Lily had found herself lying awake late into the night hoping against hope that James would come up to her and ask her; but so far, no such luck.

Lily was in the library just as the evening was beginning to draw in when James came and sat next to her.

"Hey." He began, slightly awkwardly. Lily put down her book and turned to him; giving him her full attention.

"Hi." She replied, feeling her face colour slightly. There was a moment of uncomfortable silence as the two of them tried to look anyway but at eachother.

"Lily, I wanted to say...well, to talk to you really." James stammered, why did have to get so tongue – tied. Lily looked at him, her big green eyes curious. "Well, I care about you." James managed to get out as he tried again.

"I care about you too." Lily began and James felt his heart almost soar; she cared about him. "You are one of my very dearest friends." Lily went on and James' soaring suddenly went into a nose dive. She did care about him, just not the way he did about her. Well, what had he expected, she had hated hit for five years straight she was hardly going to turn around and declared her undying love for him.

"That's great...good. Yeah." James said, slightly despondent. Lily's brow furrowed as he gave her a very forced smile and quickly left the library. He couldn't do it, he couldn't ask her now.

_Weldone Lily! _She told herself, she had not meant to say that. She had really wanted to tell him how she truly felt about him. But that was just it, she was not completely what or how she felt about him. She gave a frustrated groan and packed up her things; she needed to talk to Alice, she would know what to do.

"So? Did you ask her?" Came Sirius' voice as James flopped down on the grass by the lake. Although it was December, it was an unseasonably warm day. James didn't answer as he looked out to where the winter sun was sparkling off the water. "James?" Sirius prompted. James looked over and shook his head.

"No." He replied simply. Sirius looked outraged.

"Why the bloody hell not?" He asked, his voice rising and Remus grimaced as Sirius shouted in his ear. "Did you have a mad moment?"

"Well I went to the library to ask her. I started by telling her that I cared for her. Then she, she said she cared for me as a dear friend. Then, I just couldn't...I didn't want to scare her off or think I was just going back to repeatedly asking her out again." James admitted, his heart had continued to sink during his journey from the library and it had still not recovered.

"James, she's not going to think that." Remus began sounding far wiser than his young years. "She has seen that you have changed a great deal. Whether she realises it or not or refuses to acknowledge it, she feels more than friendship for you. I've seen it, we've all seen it." Remus said, gesturing towards Peter and Sirius, who both nodded.

"Well, it's just a stupid Christmas do. It doesn't matter like that." James said, trying to sound convincing. But judging by the looks on his friends' faces, he was not succeeding.

"OK, mate, but heed my words – you and her are going to get together at some point, then e can all stop pulling our bloody hair out waiting."Sirius said as he stretched out on the ground and closed his eyes.

James gave a defeated sigh, hopefully Sirius would be proved correct, and he had spent too many years making mistakes as far as Lily was concerned, he didn't want to let it happen anymore.

Lily was walking across the courtyard, her mind running over all that had happened, when someone called her name. Spinning round, Lily saw Harley Mayden jogging towards her. She looked around, making sure he hadn't confused her for someone else.

"Hi." He said as he reached her. "I wanted to talk to you about Slughorn's Christmas Party." He went on. Lily nodded, still feeling rather lost in the matter.

"Well, I wondered if you wanted to go with me." Mayden finally said. Lily felt completely shocked, Mayden and her had never been particularly close, they had talked on occasion, but never an in – depth conversation. Then Lily thought of how the party was tomorrow night and she still had no date and James had made it clear that he did not want to ask her out, she couldn't just wait around forever. Putting all these thoughts together, Lily made her decision.

"Sure. That sounds great." Lily said and Mayden gave her a sudden look of joy that Lily found rather adorable.

"That's great." He said and still smiling widely, he turned round and headed in the direction he had come from. But as he turned his back on Lily, his falsely joyous smile vanished and was replaced with a very smug one. He guessed he now had a head start over Potter.

As he walked away, Lily felt a strange guilty sensation spread in her stomach. But James had not asked her, and she just couldn't be expected to wait for him to do it. So why did she feel so guilty? Trying to push away the horrible feeling, she walked across the courtyard and into the Great Hall where the smell of a fabulous dinner was waiting.

"You did what?!" Alice exclaimed loudly. It was night time and they were getting ready for bed. Lily had just informed Alice of her date for Slughorn's Party.

"I told Harley Mayden I would go with him to Slughorn's Christmas Do." Lily repeated, Alice rolled her eyes.

"I heard you the first time. Why would you go with him?" Alice asked. She did not really know Mayden but she had heard enough talk to know that he was not at all good for Lily.

"Because he asked." Lily conceded. That was the real reason; he had asked when no one else had. "And he seemed nice enough." Alice bit back her words, she was going to tell Lily that she had heard that he was quite a player and never liked girls for their brains or personality; but she decided against it, Lily was able enough to make up her own mind about him.

"Ok. Just be careful alright? I don't want to see you get hurt." Alice said, since her very first year at Hogwarts she had viewed Lily as a sister, as Lily did of Alice and they both wanted to protect eachother.

"Thanks Al." Lily smiled; she then walked over to her friend and gave her a long, warm hug.

The night of the party soon came round and Lily and Alice were getting ready in their dormitory.

"You've got to love Slughorn's Christmas Parties, they always serve great food – even if the company can be a little...shall we say, pompous." Alice mused as she applied her mascara.

"Yes well as long as we stay away from Fredricks, we should be safe." Lily laughed in reply as they thought to one of the members of the Slug Club who believed that his grandfather's Order of Merlin gave him special privileges not available to his peers.

When they were finally ready, the two of them stepped into their dresses. Alice had decided upon a scarlet dress with green embroidery, as she had said it when well with the festivities. Whereas, Lily had slipped into an ice blue dress with a halter neck and a ruffled bottom and covered with small gold sequins that danced and sparkled as she walked. They left their dormitory and walked down the short steps leading to the common room, where two boys were waiting for them. When they laid eyes on the girls, they both stood up promptly.

Alice went over to Frank who looked as if he had been hit in the head by a Quaffle as he stared at his girlfriend. Lily smiled at her friend, and then made her way over to her date. Mayden smiled down at her and took her hand and kissed it.

"You look lovely." He said softly. Lily felt herself blush, not used to such flattery.

"Thank you. You look fairly handsome yourself." She said, still smiling. Mayden motioned towards the door and the four of them left.

When they reached the venue, the party was already in full swing. The four of them quickly found their seats on the long banquet table and sat down. To her delight, Lily found herself next to Emmeline, who smiled at her as she sat down.

As Slughorn began his traditional welcoming speech, Lily, who knew every word by heart, looked around the company to see who else had attended. She spotted Poppy with a Hufflepuff boy that Lily did not really know. Then as her eyes scanned the bottom end of the table and she felt her heart feel as if it had fallen head long through a deep mine shaft. It was James, but he had not come alone, next to him was seated a tall, beautiful girl; she had waist length ash blonde hair which framed her angular face and big grey eyes which looked like the contents of a crystal ball.

"...Enough said for now. Enjoy the feast and Merry Christmas!" Slughorn cheered as he raised his wine glass. The rest of the students echoed his last words and raised their glasses as well. As everyone began to tuck into their starter, Lily leaned over to talk to Emmeline.

"Who is that with James?" Lily said, trying to sound merely curious. Emmeline looked over at the girl who was talking flirtatiously with James.

"That's Leah Walsh." Emmeline informed her, Lily could tell from her tone and expression that this was not something to be happy about. "She's in Ravenclaw too." Lily nodded.

"So, she's clever then?" Lily said quietly. Emmeline gave a sudden quiet scoff.

"She's smart in how to get a man wrapped around her little finger." Emmeline said darkly, and then she turned back to her food. Lily was left feeling shattered, if that was so, she had no hope whatsoever now. Lily ate little of her starter, her appetite gone.

As the main course was laid out, Lily felt something on her leg. Looking down, she saw Mayden had placed his hand on her leg, just above her knee, something she found extremely uncomfortable. She tried to move her leg slightly, but Mayden simply increased his grip and Lily sighed; this was going to be a long night.

After all three courses had been served and eaten; Lily finally pushed Mayden's hand off her knee and stood up with the rest of the guests. Spotting Alice, who was standing near a window with Frank, she walked quickly over to her.

"I think I'm going to go." She whispered to her. Alice gave her a sad look. "I don't feel well." Lily added.

"Ok. Do you want me to come with you?" Alice askd kindly. Lily shook her head.

"No. I'm fine. You stay with Frank, have a nice evening you two." She said, they both smiled at her and wished for her recovery.

Just as Lily was approaching the door and finally thought she was free. Someone came up quickly and blocked her path. Looking up, Lily saw to her frustration that it was Mayden who did not look very impressed.

"Where are you going?" He demanded, his sweet demeanour had disappeared. Lily glared up at him.

"I am leaving. I don't feel well." She said as she tried to go around him, but he side – stepped and once again blocked her way.

"Come on. Stay. We could have some fun." He murmured and his eyes flickered up briefly. Lily followed his gaze and saw to his horror that there was a clump of mistletoe above them. She looked back at Mayden and saw that he now had a hungry look in his eyes; he wrapped a snake – like arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him.

"Get off." Lily muttered in an angry hiss, as she tried to subtly edge him away. But he simply gripped her tighter. Just as Mayden began to lean down to kiss her, a hand gripped him on the shoulder and turned him around. Mayden suddenly came face to face with a furious looking James.

"She doesn't want you to do that. Leave. Her. Alone." James said very slowly, every word was drenched in anger. Mayden gave a scoff, he was tall and Seeker built but James' rage made him appear just as tall.

"Or what Potter?" He said. James gave him a humourless smirk.

"Or I will take you outside and show you what a real fight is." James said in a low, dangerous hiss. A hint of fear flickered across Mayden's face and, glancing irritably at both Lily and James, he walked off.

"Thanks for saving me there." She whispered, James shrugged as if to say 'no problem'. Without any request, James escorted her out of the room and into the cold empty corridor. Lily leaned against the nearest wall and stared nervously at her shoes, her heart pumping erratically.

"Lily. I'm sorry I didn't ask you to the party." James piped up suddenly; making Lily looked up, stunned.

"It's fine. Really." Lily said, hoping that she sounded casual. "I'm sorry I came with Mayden. He turned out to be a right jerk – lived up to all his rumours." She muttered feeling very foolish, she should have believed them, but she had wanted to see the best in him.

"As long as he didn't hurt you." James said, there was a faint growl to his words as he looked towards the closed door.

"You should get back to the party. Your date is probably waiting." She said, she just wanted this tension to disappear. James looked suddenly hurt.

"Lily, you are far more important than any party or any date. You're –" But Lily never had a chance to hear what he was going to say as just at that moment, the door of the party room opened and Leah stepped out. She cast a suspicious look between the two of them before she sauntered up to James.

"Is everything alright here?" She asked in a soft purr. James swallowed.

"Yes. Lily just felt a little ill." James explained as he gestured towards Lily who kept her eyes adverted.

"Well she seems to be fine now. Come along." Leah said and without another word she grasped James, who looked like he wanted to do anything but go with her, by the hand and dragged him back to the party.

As the door slammed shut once more, Lily let out a pained gasp as small, hot tears slid down her cheeks, smearing her make-up. It had happened, the one thing she had sworn would never happen. She had fallen for James Potter and fallen for him hard.

**I hope you like this chapter. Special thanks to all those who have followed me and supported and helped me with these stories – you guys are the best **** Please read & review and if you want to see anything happen please PM me and tell me **** Much Love – Em xx**


	9. The Hardest Three Words

**Chapter 9 – The Hardest Three Words**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter. All rights to J.K Rowling.**

Lily had sincerely hoped that once Slughorn's party had finished, James would stop hanging around with Leah. Unfortunately her hopes were not answered, for the last week of term they spent almost every waking moment together. Lily thought it was simply wishful thinking, but whenever James was with Leah, she swore she could see a pained and almost distressed expression on his face. What annoyed Lily even more than seeing them together was the fact that whenever she saw them, her heart began to ache as if ti had been punched. She hated feeling this way, but she didn't know how to stop it.

On the last day before the Christmas holidays were due to begin, Lily found herself walking to the Owlery. She needed to send an owl to her mother to tell her she would still be coming home on the train the next day. The snow was falling rather heavily and Lily was half jogging up the icy steps in order to try and keep herself warm; upon reaching the Owlery, she took her quill and a piece of parchment out of her coat pocket and scribbled her letter with shaking fingers. Once completed, she attached it to Pinnam's leg and her barn owl flew out into the wintery blizzard.

Lily turned round and slammed straight into someone else, looking up she saw to both her delight and horror that it was James. Pushing herself off him, she took a few steps back.

"Hi." She said, slightly inadequately. James gave her a half smile in return.

"Hey, who were you writing to?" He asked as he tried to make conversation.

"My mum. I wanted her to know that I would home tomorrow." She said quietly, her feeling of dread at the thought of what awaited her at home returned as she spoke about it. James nodded understandingly.

"I should go." Lily said suddenly, making to walk past James, but he touched clutched her arm as she went by, causing her to stop. She looked up into his eyes and saw they looked like they had on the night of the party, like he was dying to tell her something but it was too difficult to say.

"Lily, I need to speak to you." James began, but all of a sudden there was an unexpected _BANG! _They both swung around to see that the wooden door to the Owlery had slammed shut. They went over to it and James pushed against the door, but it didn't budge an inch. He then tried to shoulder – barge, but still no avail. They were stuck in the Owlery. Together.

Back at the castle, Sirius, Remus and Peter were sitting with Alice, Frank and Poppy on the floor next to the fire in the Gryffindor common room as they played the muggle board game of Snakes and Ladders (Poppy's idea).

"Ah damn it!" Sirius exclaimed as he once again descended down another snake. "See – both the magical and muggle world have agreed on something – don't trust the snakes!" Their laughter was cut short by the sound of the wind whistling loudly past the windows.

"That blizzards getting pretty bad." Alice noted as she threw the dice again. "I hope Lily's OK." The others looked at her in confusion.

"She went to the Owlery." Alice explained a sudden look of realisation spread across Remus' face.

"Didn't James go there too?" he asked, turning to Sirius.

"Yeah." Sirius said casually as he moved his piece along the board again. He looked up to see many disapproving eyes staring at him. "Look – if they're not back in half an hour, we go and rescue them. They have stuff they have to talk over." Sirius said, he hoped that if the blizzard kept them together, then they would have no choice.

"It's no good." James muttered as Lily leant her whole weight against the door. "The ice has jammed the door closed." Lily turned sharply to him, a dark look on her face.

"Thank you Captain Obvious." She huffed as she gave up and slumped against the closed door in defeat. James held up his hands in a sign of surrender.

"Anyone would think that you didn't want to spend time with me." He said teasingly. At these words, something inside Lily snapped. She turned to James glaring.

"I do want to spend time with you, if I ever got to. But you seem far too busy with your _girlfriend!_" James looked completely taken aback by Lily's sudden outburst, but this turned to confusion as he finally made sense of what she said.

"What do you mean? What girlfriend?" James asked. Lily made an exasperate noise.

"Leah Walsh." She said, as if it was the most obvious thing on earth. James' eyes widened, it all made sense now. He shook his head, chuckling, and slightly amused. This simply made Lily angrier, now he was laughing at her.

"What is so bloody funny?" She asked darkly. James' chuckling ceased as he looked at her straight in the eye, completely serious.

"Leah is _not _my girlfriend." He said; Lily felt herself blush deeply, now she was the one feeling stupid.

"But I thought..." She trailed off as she thought back to the past week when they had been practically inseparable.

"I only took her to the party as a friend, but she wouldn't drop it. I think she thought that I had other ideas." James said shaking his head again, the mind of women had always and would continue to boggle him.

"Oh." Lily said simply, not knowing quite what else to say. "So she's really not your girlfriend?" Lily asked, she wanted to be absolutely sure she had heard it right. James chuckled as he walked over to her and took her hands in his.

"No. She is not my girlfriend. She's not you." Lily looked up, shocked at his words. What did he mean by that? Lily took her hands out of his and stared at his hurt face; she couldn't do it, she just couldn't.

"James...I'm sorry I can't" She said. She wanted nothing more that for him to love her but she just couldn't let herself get hurt again.

"Why do you do this?" He suddenly cried, his voice rising several decibels. "Why do build up these walls?" He was so sick of her pushing him away when all he wanted was to help her and love her.

"Why are you so damn determined to knock them down?" Lily demanded, feeling her own voice rising. They stared at eachother, all the frustration and stress of the last few months finally boiling over.

"I've already told you! I can't get close to people – I lose them!" She exclaimed, James gave a frustrated groan and threw his hands in the air.

"You are not going to lose me – I have told you that!"

"And I've told you! You can't promise that – you can't be sure!" She cried; James stared at her in disbelief, so that was it? She was just going to completely block herself from love because of what had happened before.

"Sometimes you have to risk that in life – in love!" There it was, he had said it, he had blurted out his feelings. They both stood their shocked as silence settled. This is not how he had wanted to tell her, he had wanted to tell her in a romantic way, but that had gone out the window now. "Lily, I know you don't want to get hurt, but I could never hurt you. If I did, I would just be hurting myself, Lily you already are a part of me, you are in my heart." James paused, now was the moment. The moment to say the three most wonderful, but most difficult words. "Lily, I love you."

There was silence; only the wind whistling outside made a sound. Lily stared at James, transfixed. He loved her, he really loved her. Feeling happy tears prickling the back of her eyes, Lily threw her caution to the wind and spoke the words she had been dying to say all term.

"I love you too." She croaked. James gave a half laugh as relief swept over him. In one movement, they rushed towards eachother and met in a hug. Both laughing with joy and relief. As Lily pulled back, she looked into his warm hazel eyes which were brimming with pure happiness and her lips met his in their first kiss. Neither had thought a kiss would feel like this. It was warm and filled with a hint of desperation, as if both of them had been waiting for this their entire lives. And as it deepened, they both saw fireworks crackled and fizz before their eyes. This was not just any kiss. This was a kiss of love.

Neither really knew who broke this kiss, but when they did, they looked at eachother, slightly breathless. Then, without warning, there was a crunching sound and the door of the Owlery suddenly creaked open and Leah appeared. Her smoky grew eyes suddenly darkened when she saw James and Lily hand in hand.

"What is going on here?" She asked as she stepped inside the room slowly. Lily felt nervous all of a sudden, she had not wanted to hurt any feelings or cause any fights.

"We got trapped inside when the door slammed shut." James explained. Although his focus was more on Lily than on Leah. Leah scoffed as she folded her arms in front of her chest.

"It really looks like you two were distressed." She said, each word she spoke was dripping with jealousy as her eyes narrowed dangerously at Lily, who shuffled uncertainly.

"Well thank you for helping us." James said, he took Lily's hand again and tried to walk to the door, but Leah blocked their path.

"Where do you think you are going with _her_?" Leah asked as she looked Lily up and down with look of disdain. "You are supposed to be with me." She said, her voice rising a little as she started to pout. James was now feeling incredibly agitated.

"Look – I don't know what you think, but we are not together. I am sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but there is no us." James said firmly, he did not want to hurt her, but nor did he want to make things worse for Lily. Leah shook her head, her face screwing up with anger and petulance.

"I don't accept that." She said tartly. James shook his head; he did not have time for this. He brought Lily up beside him and put an arm protectively around her shoulders.

"Well accept it. That's how it is. I love Lily." He said simply, without a hint of sarcasm. Pushing past Leah, he and Lily went down the icy stone steps that where now covered in at least six inches of crisp, white snow.

"I hope she doesn't take it too badly." Lily said, biting her lip in concern. James squeezed her shoulder supportively.

"She'll be OK." He said as he placed a kiss on the top of her head. Lily smiled, she almost had to pinch herself to ensure she wasn't just dreaming it all up.

"Did you mean what you said in there?" Lily asked. James suddenly stopped walking and stared down into Lily's almond shaped eyes.

"Every word. I love you." He said. Lily grinned, a sensation of bliss spread from her head to her toes, warming her up.

"I love you. I think a part of me always has. Just didn't realise it until now." Lily said. James laughed and placed both hands on either side of Lily's cold face and pressed his lips to her; sparks flew once more and Lily felt as if they were flying high above the snowy castle. Whatever trials awaited her when she got home; she knew she would have the strength to face it with the knowledge that James loved her.

**I hope this chapter is alright **** please read and review – big thank you to Imp97 for the inspiration for this chapter – thank you so much **** Tell me what you think – Love Em xx**


	10. The Christmas Invitation

**Chapter 10 – The Christmas Invitation**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter. All rights to J.K Rowling.**

The first week of the Christmas holidays was not at all merry for Lily. When she had heard her mother had been upset about her father's betrayal, she had not realised quite how badly she had taken it. Mrs Evans was silent for a great deal of the time and whenever she smiled at her daughters, it looked very forced and did not reach her eyes. Lily felt utterly useless, she had no clue how to cheer her mother up and she felt like a terrible daughter for allowing her to remain so depressed for such a length of time.

The Monday of the second week of the holidays dawned very cold and overcast and when Lily went for her morning jog, she could tell that snow was not far away. When she went up to her room after breakfast, she found a small Athena Owl sitting patiently on the bed. Upon seeing her, the tiny owl gave a high pitched squeak; obviously pleased that he had delivered the letter correctly. Lily smiled at him and gave him a couple of treats, untying the letter from his leg. The wispy writing told Lily it was from Alice. She peeled open the envelope and unfolded the letter.

_Dear Lils,_

_I hope everything is alright. Tell your Mum I say "hi". I know that this isn't the greatest time, but my parents are planning a Christmas Party and they wondered if you would like to come. I totally understand if you can't make it._

_I know it's going to be hard – but try and have a Merry Christmas! I am always here for you ~ never forget._

_Much Love ~ Al xx_

Lily looked at the letter, smiling quietly to herself, she knew Alice's parents would love for her to go; but she felt bad going and leaving her mother in her current state.

That evening, Lily helped her mother wash up the dinner dishes; Petunia had had to take a call from Vernon, much to Lily's displeasure.

"Um...Mum." Mrs Evans turned to her daughter, that same sad smile of her lips. "Alice has...invited me to hers for a Christmas party." Lily began, seeing the lifelessness in her mother's eyes made her heart break in two. "I'll just tell her I can't go." Lily finished, she couldn't leave her mother – not now. To her great surprise, Mrs Evans was shaking her head.

"No, honey. Go, please it would be good for you to see your friends." Mrs Evans said as she washed the final dish. Lily stared at her mother, rather bewildered.

"But, what about you?" Lily asked. Mrs Evans gave a sudden chuckle; it startled Lily so much that she almost dropped the plate in her hands.

"I am not as fragile as you may think, my darling. Please, I want you to go and have fun." Mrs Evans said, as she tucked a strand of auburn hair behind her daughter's ear. "Have I ever told you just how immensely proud I am of you?" She asked as she stared at her youngest daughter. She had come so far since she had started at Hogwarts and she was growing into a beautiful and strong woman, inside and out. Lily smiled at her mother; she set down the plate and enveloped her in a warm, comforting hug.

"I love you, Mum." Lily whispered, her mother squeezed her tightly.

"I love you too. Now, you should get some rest." Lily gave her mother one last squeeze then went up to her bed.

The days leading up to the party rushed past in a blur. Lily helped her mother with household chores and waitressed at the cafe; despite what she had said about not leaving her mother alone, Lily could not help but feel really quite excited when the night of Alice's party arrived. Lily got ready in her room, as she did not want to make a big deal of the night in front of her mother, she dressed in a black and gold sequin dress that came to just above her knees and she pulled her tangled red hair into a bun.

Lily kissed her Mum good bye then left the house to meet Poppy, who had arranged for her Dad to give her and Lily a lift. When they arrived, Poppy and Lily saw that the Prewitts had gone to great lengths to decorate their house. The roof had been covered in small gold and scarlet lights that twinkled like stars. When they reached the front door, they saw that it had been decorated with a very large wreath made with real holly and ivy.

"Wow...makes our decorating look pretty inadequate." Poppy breathed as she looked around her.

"Can we go in please? I am kinda freezing out here." Lily said impatiently as she tried to snap Poppy back to reality. Poppy was shaken out of her trance and with an eye roll at Lily, she opened the door and they stepped in.

"Merry Christmas!" Poppy called as they went through into the living room. There were several echoes of Poppy's cheer from the crowd in the cosy room. As Lily turned the corner and stepped into the living room, she saw that not only had a great deal of Alice's family had attended, but so had Frank, Sirius, Remus, Peter and Marlene. As Lily's eyes scanned the room, taking in all the splendour and excited faces, she saw someone that made her heart flutter in her chest like a caged bird longing to escape.

"Merry Christmas." James said as he came over to where Lily was standing. Lily opened her mouth to say something, but her voice seemed to have failed her. James smiled at her, and then took the parcels that were overloading her arms.

"I'll put these under the tree for you." He explained as he took the many colourfully wrapped gifts over to the large fir tree that was standing proudly in the corner of the room. It too was covered from top to bottom in extravagant ornaments and lights.

"...Lil? Lily?" Lily finally snapped back to reality as she looked into the face of a very amused looking Alice.

"What?!" Lily hissed, feeling her cheeks begin to burn. Alice chuckled and shook her head.

"I saw you giving Potter the dreamy eyes. What has happened between you two? And don't even think about giving me the 'nothing – just friends' speech again. We both know that's a big fat lie." Alice said, and without another word, she took Lily by the hand and half – dragged her into the vacant guest room. Closing the door behind her, Alice turned to her friend and gave her an expecting look.

"OK, um, well you know when I went to the Owlery at the end of term?" Alice nodded. "Well James was there too and the two of us kind of got shut in. Well, we talked about...well, about everything really." Lily continued, she did not want to bore Alice with all the details of her conversation, but also she could feel her cheeks gaining considerable heat now and she simply wanted to escape the room as quickly as possible. "Well, we kissed." Alice's eyes suddenly brightened at the news and she had to quickly stifle an excited squeal.

"That's amazing. Was it very romantic?" She asked, slightly dreamily. Lily had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. It was very well known that Alice had always been the romantic one of their group of friends.

"Well it would have been...if Leah hadn't turned up." Lily said, a bit more coldly as she remembered the look of pure hatred that Leah had directed towards her in the Owlery that day.

"Bummer." Alice said simply. Lily nodded.

"Yeah, Well James told her that she had misunderstood. That they weren't together and that...that he...loved me." She said. This time Alice really did squeal; Lily frantically tried to quieten her, but apparently it was not fast enough as next second, James opened the door and was looking inside with an expression of extreme bewilderment on his face.

"Everything OK in here?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. Alice, who was still beaming widely nodded and all but ran from the room. Leaving Lily and James looking at eachother in bemusement.

"What was that?"James asked, pointing his thumb in the direction that Alice had raced off in. Lily smiled slightly and shook her head.

"I hope you don't mind, but I told Alice about...about what happened in the Owlery." Lily explained, she could feel her cheeks reddening slowly again at the reminder of it. James gave a noise that sounded very like 'aha'; finally understanding.

"No. I don't mind at all. I actually told someone too – Sirius." James said and Lily nodded. Ofcourse, those two barely ever kept secrets from eachother. To Lily's surprise, James, instead of returning to the party, stepped further into the room.

"I am glad I found you. I wanted to give you your Christmas present." James said as he pulled out a small square box. Lily took it with shaky fingers and opened the lid. Inside was a very small silver charm of a doe; Lily gasped as she stared at it, it was so intricate and beautiful.

"Thank you." She whispered as she looked up into James' apprehensive face. "I love it." A cheerful grin spread across James' face and he stepped towards Lily and took the charm out of its case; then he gently took hold of Lily's wrist, the warm touch of his hand made happy shivers run up and down Lily's spine. He then linked the doe charm onto the silver charm bracelet Lily had always worn around her left wrist. The bracelet was full of charms that all had a meaning or connection to Lily.

"Can I ask why a doe?" Lily said as James finished attaching the small trinket to the bracelet. He looked down at the little silver animal for a moment, thinking.

"I guess because you remind me of a doe. You are beautiful and graceful and you love nature." He explained, Lily smiled at him, but she also had a slight feeling that the fact that his animagus was a stag might have had a small impact on the choice of creature. James smiled back at her, and then he became more serious again. "Lil, we need to talk about that day, in the Owlery. We haven't really talked since then." Lily nodded, she had known that this conversation would be coming; she just hadn't been prepared for it to be so soon.

"Well I still stand by what I said then." Lily said "I love you." Those three words were becoming much easier to say now and as she looked into James' warm hazel eyes, she knew that she meant them.

"And I love you too." James said, smiling broadly.

"So, what do you want to do with 'us'?" Lily asked, she was both looking forward to and dreading that answer that James would give. James, however, looked simply pensive.

"I guess that is up to you." He said. He did not want to push her into anything if she was not happy with it. He knew how he felt about her and he knew that was never going to change, but it was her call, one way or the other.

Just as Lily opened her mouth to reply, the sound of Mr. Prewitt's voice rang through the house: "Dinner is ready!" Lily closed her eyes in frustration; they always seemed to get interrupted at the most crucial moments.

"We should go." James said quietly. Lily nodded and she followed James out of the room and into the dining room. The long oak table was completely laden with all types of delicious looking food and right in the centre, sat a fat, golden roast turkey.

During the meal the party pulled crackers, exchanged jokes and stories and of course sported different party hats. After the roast turkey and trimmings, Mrs Prewitt brought out a mountainous Christmas pudding and plenty of custard. By the end of the meal, everyone was so full that it was a struggle to remove themselves from their chairs. Lily, feeling more than adequately stuffed, decided to step out onto the Prewitt's front porch for some fresh air. She had only been leaning against the banister looking at the stars when she heard the front door open and close again. Looking round, Lily saw James stepping out into the cold winter night's air, as he stepped closer, Lily began to shiver more, but this time not form the cold.

"I am so full." He commented as he too leaned against the banister. Lily chuckled and nodded, it was one of the best Christmas dinners she had ever eaten, that was for sure. Lily looked down at her feet, it was now or never.

"OK. We can be friends. We are friends, right?" She looked over at James who nodded at her and gave her a small smile. "But we can be more than that, we have to be. Because I love you, I love you so much." She concluded, she could feel her throat beginning to ache with unshed tears. James' small smile broke into a blissful grin as he stepped towards her and pulled her into a warm, loving hug. Lily leaned her head against his chest and heard his heart, which was beating madly like hers. She looked up into his face and he brought his lips down to meet hers in a sweet, sure kiss. Lily sighed internally; for a Christmas that had started out rather unhappy was now becoming certainly merrier.

**I hope you guys like this chapter – what do you think of Lily and James now? Big special thanks to GryffidorGirl347 for allowing me to use her idea of a charm bracelet – thank you **** please read & review – I love to hear your view & opinions – tell me if you want to see anything happen. Love Em xx**


	11. Have you Heard the News?

**Chapter 11 – Have you heard the news?**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter. All rights to J.K Rowling**

When the day before Lily was due to return to school cam around, Lily could not help but feel ever so slightly relieved. Even though it had been wonderful to see her mother and sister and spend Christmas with them, she could not rid herself of the feeling that she was not a very good daughter. Despite her mother's attempts to appear happy and put on a brave face, Lily could see that she was distraught and to make matters worse, there seemed to be little, if anything Lily could do to relieve her mother.

As Lily was sitting in her usual spot on the swing bench in the garden, she heard the sound of a throat being cleared behind her. Slightly startled, Lily spun around and to her even greater surprise, saw her sister standing there. Petunia had gone to great lengths not to talk to Lily throughout the duration of the holidays – something that Lily could say she was not overly upset about.

"Yes?" Lily asked politely. Petunia surveyed her darkly before responding.

"I will drive you to the station tomorrow. Mum should have a break." Petunia said as she tried to look at any of her surroundings to avoid meeting her sister's gaze.

"Thank you, that's very kind." Lily said, she knew all too well that Petunia was doing this for their mother's sake and not for Lily's, nonetheless, Lily was grateful for it. Petunia simply shrugged, she was just about to walk off when Lily's voice halted her.

"Petunia," Lily began, deciding it was probably safer to use her sister's full name at the time. "Please take care of Mum for me." The dark expression on Petunia's face vanished completely and was placed with one that Lily could only describe as empathy.

"I will. I promise." Petunia replied in an almost inaudible tone. Lily gave her a strained smile and nodded, although the two had not seen eye to eye for many years, they were both in full agreement about this. Their mother needed to be looked after.

The next morning, Lily woke up early in order to make sure she had packed all her belongings for the new term ahead. Once she had checked everything, Lily went down to the kitchen and fixed herself a small breakfast of cereal and orange juice, she made her mother a cup of tea and put in on her bed side table for when she woke up; she then placed a sweet kiss on her mother's cheek, careful not to disturb her and crept from the room.

The car ride to King's Cross was one filled with an excruciatingly uncomfortable silence. The only time Petunia talked to her sister was to ask if she had everything. When they finally pulled up in front of the station, Lily thanked her sister and removed her trunk from the boot of the car; she was just putting the heavy luggage onto a spare trolley when Petunia caught her by surprise.

"Have a good term." Lily spun round, wanting to check it was really her own sister who had said those words, and she was able to mask her astonishment enough to give Petunia a smile and a nod.

Her mind still working over all that had happened that morning, Lily walked through the crowds to where the barrier of Platform 9 ¾ stood. To all those on the platform it was just a brick wall, but to Lily it was a gateway to her friends and the place she had come to call her second home. She looked both ways to check there was no one looking, then she ran full pelt at the wall and next second she was standing before the shining scarlet train, but Lily did not have time to admire it as she heard the whistle signalling that the train was getting ready to depart. Rushing, Lily threw her trunk into the luggage compartment and quickly got into the train just in time.

Lily walked quickly down the aisle, checking in easy busy compartment for her friends; as she was so busy looking in the compartments that she bumped headlong into someone. Lily stepped back quickly and saw a very pretty third year girl who was looking decidedly disgruntled.

"Sorry." Lily said apologetically. The third year shook her head, then seeing who it was beamed at Lily.

"It's fine. Congratulations on you and Potter by the way." She said in an excited squeal. Lily was struck dumb. _How would she know? _Before she had a chance to ask her, the third year had disappeared into the crowd that was bustling around the aisle. Lily frowned to herself and then carried on searching; she eventually came upon her friends sitting near the front of the train. They all said their greetings as Lily came in.

"How was your holiday?" Emmeline asked as she began to offer her Berty Bott's Every Flavour Beans to the others.

"It was Ok." Lily said, not wanting to bore them all with the details. "The weirdest thing just happened though." She said suddenly, making everybody look at her curiously. Lily then explained to them all about the incident with the Third Year. Once she had finished, Lily looked over at James, who looked just as bemused as her.

"I don't know how she knew. I never told anyone." James said innocently. He and Lily had decided that they would rather keep their new relationship inconspicuous for the time being, it was all new for them as well. All of a sudden there was a small groan from the corner of the compartment; the others looked over to see a very uncomfortable – looking Sirius.

"You told them didn't you?" Lily said in a tone that was a mixture between fury and amusement. Sirius grimaced as he admitted his crime.

"Yes! OK! It was me – how could I keep quiet?! We had all been waiting so long!" Sirius said in a strained voice, Lily's cold expression finally moulded into one of amusing disbelief.

"Well I suppose it would have all come out eventually. It's Hogwarts after all, nothing stays secret for long." Lily finally conceded. She gave James a bright smile which he quickly exchanged before moving to sit next to her, placing an n arm around her shoulders.

"You do realise that you may very well receive a great deal of animosity for this." Poppy said. Lily closed her eyes, she had not really thought about that. It was very well - known that James Potter was one of the most desired boys at Hogwarts and the fact that he had chosen to date Lily was not going to go down well with his fan club. Lily nodded, grimacing at the thought of all the black looks she might have aimed at her.

"Especially Leah." Alice put in. Lily looked over at her and gave her a cynical look.

"Thanks Al, that's very comforting of you." Alice held up her hands in surrender, but there was a knowing grin of her face.

"I am just being the caring friend and warning you of the battle that may occur." Alice said as she helped herself to a sweet. Lily shook her head at her friend; she wanted to be with James more than anything, but she did not want it to be the cause of such drama and uproar.

"It'll be fine. I'll protect you." James said in his most gallant voice. Lily smiled up at him and then rested her head contentedly on his shoulder.

The rest of the time was passed with talk of Christmas holidays and presents they had received, it turned out that Sirius had received a new broomstick from James' parents and he was going to be trying out for the Quidditch team.

"I will make sure to ask some first years to follow beneath you with a mattress." James said teasingly. Sirius simply gave him a very black look in return.

Before they knew it, they had arrived at the Hogwarts Station, they quickly made their way to the carriages and once they had been transported to the castle, they were all quick to get into the warmth of the Great Hall. When everyone had arrived, Dumbledore gave his usual speech of hoping that they had all had a joyous Christmas and that this was the start of a new and productive term for them all.

The food soon appeared and they all gratefully tucked into the delicious feast.

"So, how was your Mum?" Alice asked in an under tone as they ate their meal. Lily speared a piece of chicken with her fork as she thought about how her mother had been, truly been.

"Not so great. She tried to act all happy during Christmas but I could tell that it was just an act." Lily said a bit miserably. Alice gave her an understanding look and patted her hand.

"Well if you ever need a place to escape to, we have a spare room." Alice said. Lily smiled at her thankfully, she always knew Alice would be there for, just as she would be for her.

As they were half – way through pudding, Lily felt someone's eyes on her, chancing a look, Lily glanced over her shoulder and saw an extremely fierce – looking Leah glaring at her from the Ravenclaw table. Starting to feel very uncomfortable indeed, Lily tried to hurry her pudding in an attempt to get out of their faster. Thankfully, it was not long after that Dumbledore made his closing speech and they were all dismissed. Lily tried to walk fast but the large crowd prevented her and she was forced to move at a mere snail's pace. When Lily finally reached the giant double doors of the Great Hall, the crowd finally dispersed, but Lily did not get to escape so easily.

"So you finally got to James then did you?" A feminine but poisonous voice asked. Closing her eyes in defeat, she turned around slowly. Leah Walsh was standing against a stone pillar, flanked by another glamorous – looking Ravenclaw girl, her face also one of disdain.

"Excuse me?" Lily asked. She had just about enough of Leah treating her like dirt.

"You finally sunk your claws into him." Leah commented. Lily was outraged, she had not sunk her claws into anyone, and she would never be so petty.

"Not at all. Anything James has decided has been of his own free will." Lily said as she bit back many remarks that were circling through her brain, if anything she would remain the civil one here. Leah gave a disbelieving scoff as she prowled forward, reminding Lily of a lioness preparing for the kill.

"Well, you might want to be careful. After all, your family does not have much luck with men, do they?" Leah asked with a vengeful smirk plastered across her face. Lily finally snapped as she took several steps towards Leah, blood pounding in her ears.

"You're such a b-" Lily began but she was soon stopped when a tentative hand was placed on her shoulder. Lily looked up to see James with a concerned look on his face.

"Lil, you go to the Common Room, I'll sort this out." James said tenderly, he had heard every word of what Leah had said and had hated her for it, but he did not want to see Lily get into trouble on her account. Lily spun around and walked quickly away, James waited until she was safely out of hearing range before he rounded on Leah.

"That was completely out of order what you said to her." James said in a furious whisper, but his rage did not seem to faze Leah in the slightest as she continued to smile at him, undaunted.

"Perhaps, but it was the truth. Do you truly believe that _she _can make you happy?" Leah asked in contemptuous tone as her eyes flickered in the direction that Lily had disappeared to.

"Yes." James answered with hesitation. Leah's eyebrows rose slightly higher up her brow.

"She cannot give you what you want." Leah said in a more seductive tone. James raised an eyebrow, completely unaffected by her efforts.

"How can you begin to guess what I want." James asked sounding bored by the whole affair. Leah gave a light chuckle.

"Please, you're a boy, I know just what you want." James gave a scoff. Now she had just gone too far.

"Well maybe you should try and stick to those type of boys, there are more...in your league. I know what I want and that is Lily." James concluded and before Leah could throw another comment, James was walking away to the Gryffindor Common Room.

Leah glared at his retreating form and promised herself that he would regret the fact he had chosen that little redhead instead of her.

**Well I hope you like this chapter **** what do you think Leah has planned? Tell me what you think and I might work some of your ideas in. Please read & review – Thanks Em xx**


	12. Remedies & Revenge

**Chapter 12 - Remedies & Revenge**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter. All rights to J.K Rowling**

The next day, Lily and James were sat in Potions, when there were several knocks on the classroom door. A number of students looked up as Slughorn got up from his desk and went to answer it. As Slughorn opened the door, it revealed a very tall man with sleek black hair that was streaked with plenty of grey; when his brown eyes fell on Slughorn his ancient face was suddenly made years younger by a delighted smile.

"Horace! Wonderful to see you, old friend." The stranger said as he strode forwards and clapped Slughorn on the shoulder. Lily looked up briefly from her potion and saw that she instantly recognised who Slughorn's friend was. She had seen his photo in many potions books. His name was Damocles and he was one of the influential Potion brewers in the wizarding world.

"What brings you to this dark corner?" Slughorn asked good – humouredly as he led the way to his store room, which was very near to where James and Lily's bench stood. Not wanting to be nosing, Lily turned her concentration back to her potion, however the last part of the stranger's words grabbed Lily's attention back to their conversation.

"I have been able to create a new remedy...for lycanthropy." Lily had to refrain from gasping, she could not quite believe her ears.

"So, you have been able to cure this problem?" Lily heard Slughorn's voice ask and she could detect a somewhat excited edge to it.

"No, well not exactly." The Damocles' voice said, Lily could not help but let her heart sink a little. "But it will help a great deal. It will allow the patient to retain their humanity, during...during their transformation." Lily's sunken heart took flight again and she tried to subtly edge a little closer to the door.

"Do you think you could possibly give me your instructions to this wonderful new invention?" Slughorn asked in the tone that had always reminded Lily like that of a child on Christmas. Lily heard the stranger give a low chuckle that sounded like it came from the depths of the earth.

"Of course, my dear Horace. Anything for an old friend, but I must ask you not to allow any other teachers or students to gain access to this." The stranger said, his last words came out as more of a warning than a request. She heard Slughorn agree repeatedly, then the door swung open again and Lily ducked her head back to her cauldron.

"Thank you again for stopping by." Slughorn said as he opened the classroom door for the stranger, who gave a short bow of thanks before sweeping from the room with a distinct air of intelligence and grace.

"Hey, are you alright?" James' voice brought Lily back to reality, she shook her head and looked over at his rather concerned face.

"I'm fine, why do you ask?" Lily asked, as she gave an uneasy smile and tried to sound as casual as possible.

"You looked a little odd there for a moment." James commented as his gaze briefly flickered towards the door of the store room. Lily shook her head and avoided his gaze.

"It's nothing." She lied. James gave her a sceptical look but shrugged it off before continuing on with the potion.

Soon the class ended and Slughorn ushered them out, Lily quickly packed her bags and walked briskly out of the classroom, waiting by the door for James to join her. Just as she was checking her bag, a shadow fell across her, causing her to look up. She groaned internally as she saw who it was.

"Can I help you?" She asked aloofly.

"It's true then? You and Potter." Snape said in a highly accusing tone. Lily just about stopped herself from rolling her eyes, she was sick of Snape being so condemning of all her activities.

"Yes." Lily answered simply, now starting to feel highly uncomfortable, why was James taking so long?

"How can you –?" Snape began but Lily cut him off angrily.

"Don't you _dare_ talk to me like _that_. I have done nothing wrong." She hissed, Snape gave a light scoff.

"Lily, he is the boy who annoyed you for five years, embarrassed you constantly." Snape said, with a slight pleading tone to his voice, he had to make her realise that Potter was not this wonderful man she thought he was.

"I remember that, but he has changed." Lily said as she tried to make Snape understand. "We can all change, remember?" she asked, this time with a far harsher voice. Snape opened his mouth to say something when there was an awkward cough from beside them; looking over, Snape felt his eyes narrow.

"Is everything alright here?" James asked as he threw an anxious look at Lily who was still staring daggers at Snape.

"It was before you got here." Snape uttered in a murderous whisper. James gritted his teeth, in years gone by, he would have cursed Snape for that remark, but now his concern was Lily and her well –being.

"Do not talk to him like that." Lily replied furiously, taking both boys by surprise. She then turned to James and her gaze softened a little. "Shall we go now?" She asked quietly. James gave a silent nod and the two of them walked down the corridor leaving a fuming Snape glaring after them with a funny ringing in his ears and an unpleasant pain in his heart.

"Run this by me again." James said in a disbelieving tone. Lily gave an exasperated chuckle. It was after dinner and the tow of them were sitting in the empty Gryffindor Common Room by the crackling fire.

"Slughorn has the instructions for a remedy that will help Remus." Lily repeated for what felt like the hundredth time. James stared back at her with an expression like a startled goldfish.

"How is that even possible? I thought Remus' condition was irreversible." Lily shook her head.

"No, it doesn't reverse the condition, it simply helps him retain his mind, so it is more bearable for him." Lily said, lowering her voice a little as she looked towards the boy's dormitories, where Remus was probably sleeping.

"OK that is great, amazing in fact, but one question: how exactly are we going to get those instructions from Slughorn's office without him noticing?" James asked, but to his astonishment, Lily had a very mischievous grin on her face.

"Well, if someone had a certain invisibility cloak I could borrow..." Lily trailed off as she gave James a playful look. James looked confused for a moment before realisation swept across his face and he gave a sigh, finally understanding.

"So you know about the cloak." James commented. Lily smiled widely in reply and James shook his head. "Why did you never confiscate it?" James asked suddenly, when Lily had been a prefect last year, she had stopped many of the Marauders' tricks and taken away many of their pranking equipment. So, why had she never attempted to take the cloak?

"I guess, I thought if you couldn't see it then there was no real crime." Lily said, not looking James in the eye. That was not the only reason, she had also thought that the cloak was pretty amazing and she would have hated to be the one to part such a mystical object from its owner.

"Alright, you can use the cloak. But I expect it back without a single tear." James said in his best attempt at a stern voice. Lily had to forced down a smirk as she nodded.

"Do you want me to come too?" James asked, he was nervous at the thought of Lily wandering the dark halls of the castle at night by herself.

"I think it's probably best if I go alone. Less chance of being caught." Lily said, she gave James a reassuring smile.

"Alright, I'll get the cloak." James said and he got up from the chair and quietly crept up the short stone steps to the boy's dormitories.

In his absence, Lily looked into the dancing flames in the fireplace. Maybe if she could she could get hold of the instructions and be able to make the potion then maybe, just maybe she would be able to help Remus, really help him. The sound of flesh against stone made her look up to see James coming back down the stairs with a roll of heavy – looking material draped over one arm.

"Here you go." James said, passing the cloak to Lily and settling himself back into the scarlet armchair. As Lily took the clothing from James she found that it was not heavy at all, it was practically weightless and it had the slightly slippery feeling as if it was water woven into fabric. Lily thanked him as she stood up and wrapped the cloak around her shoulders. Even though she had been expecting it, the fact that when she looked down and saw no body or feet still unsettled her.

"Are you sure about this?" James asked again as he gave her a worried look.

"What's the worst that could happen?" She asked as she thought about walking around the castle when no one else was around.

"Filch could catch you." James stated, Lily bit her lip, she had not really thought of that.

"I'll just make sure not to get caught." She replied simply, and throwing the cloak over her head, Lily exited the comfort of the Common Room.

Lily padded her way down the numerous staircases and intertwining corridors, until she eventually came to a small wooden door, Slughorn's classroom. Taking a deep, calming breath, Lily pulled out her wand.

"_Alohamora_" She whispered and at once the lock clicked and Lily pushed the door open and crept inside. The room was empty and cold, the only light was from the shafts of moonlights that were falling in trough the tall windows. Lily shivered slightly as she pulled off the cloak and made her way to the teacher's store room.

"_Lumos." _Lily whispered as she stepped into the dark and dusty store cupboard and a small silver light flickered at the end of her wand. Holding up the light, Lily walked slowly up and down the aisles, carefully reading all the jars and books that were stacked rather carelessly on the rickety shelves. Then, at once, a name of the spine of the book caught Lily's eye, bringing her wand closer, she peered at the book. _Medicinal Potion Brewing: Advanced by _ Lily gave a very quiet gasp, that was the name of the stranger who had visited Slughorn earlier. Very cautiously, Lily slid the book out of its place, settled it down and began to flick through the pages. However the book seemed to just contain its own contents and nothing more; then just as Lily was going to put it back, a small leaf of parchment fell out of the yellowing covers and floated gracefully to the ground. Lily stooped and collected the parchment, it was very delicate, almost like rice paper and appeared at first glance to be completely blank; but as Lily squinted harder at it, she saw to her surprise and delight that there was writing on it, very faint, but still there.On the very top of the parchment was the title: _Wolfsbane Potion _and below it was a list of very complicated looking ingredients.

Lily almost gave a cry of joy, this was it, the remedy for Remus. Standing up again, she placed the book back onto the shelf and folded the piece of parchment into her pocket. She closed the store room door and threw the cloak back over herself and left the room quickly.

The journey back to the Common Room seemed to take far longer than the one to Slughorn's office. Just as Lily climbing the steps to the Portrait of the Fat Lady, she was halted by the sudden meow of a cat. Spinning round, Lily felt her eyes widen, standing in front of her, her bushy tail swaying slightly was Mrs Norris. Lily took several steps back, but the cat kept its red eyes fixed on the spot where Lily was and gave another louder meow. Lily looked around frantically, she knew that if Mrs Norris was here, Filch would not be far behind and then she really would be in trouble if he caught her. Lily's gaze then fell on a large suit of armour just at the bottom of the stairs; she pulled out her wand once again and uttered a small spell and at once the sword fell from the suit's hand and clanged loudly to the floor. Mrs Norris instantly looked over towards the noise, and as she was distracted, Lily slipped silently past her, rushed up the remaining stairs, whispered the password to the Fat Lady who grumbled at being woken up and entered the warmth of the Common Room at last.

"Are you alright? You were gone a while, I was worried." James said anxiously as Lily removed herself from the invisibility cloak and handed it back to him.

"I'm fine, I just got held up by Mrs Norris. I was able to distract her with a suit of armour." Lily said and James gave her a small smirk, then became serious again.

"Did you manage to get it?" He asked hurriedly and to his relief, Lily nodded excitedly as she pulled out a very dainty piece of parchment from her trouser pocket.

"Here it is." She replied, laying the paper flat on the nearest table. "But this will be complicated and it needs to be administered about two weeks before the full moon.

"So, we have work to do?" James said rhetorically. Lily nodded as she thought about just how much time this potion may take to get correct. But then she remembered just why she was doing it – for Remus, for her friend.

For the next couple of weeks, Lily and James took turns to sneak into the disused Girls' Bathroom to brew the potion. It turned out to be far more difficult than Lily had originally suspected; on more than one occasion Lily had been forced to cast away the entire contents of her cauldron and start from scratch.

Eventually, just a mere fortnight before the full moon, Lily was stirring the finished product.

"How is it going?" James asked Lily quietly over the table that night at dinner. Lily looked briefly around her before answering; she had not told anyone of their secret potion brewing – not even Alice.

"It's all set. I can give it to Remus tonight." Lily whispered, but the small glint of excitement quickly left her face and James' brow creased.

"Well that's good, isn't it? We can finally help Remus." James said, confused by Lily's sudden despondency.

"I know, it's great. It's just….well, do you think he will be angry?" James frowned again, apparently not understanding her. "Perhaps he didn't want me to meddle in his affairs." Lily said looking down at her plate of food which she had barely touched.

"Lil," James began, reaching across the table to clasp her hand reassuringly. "I know he will be nothing but grateful for all you have done for him. You have done something really amazing for him." James said, giving her fingers a gentle squeeze. Lily smiled and forced down her negative feelings.

"Alright. I will tell him tonight." Lily said, feeling her old excitement brewing once again in her chest.

That evening, after all the students had left the Great Hall, Lily waited outside the large double doors for Remus to appear; when he did, he was taken by surprise when Lily walked straight up to him and took him a little way from the crowd.

"What is it, Lily? Is something wrong?" He asked, worry beginning to flood his features.

"No nothing wrong at all. I just, have something to tell you." She said and taking one final breath, she dived into the story of hearing about Damocles and the Wolfsbane Potion and how she and James had managed to brew it. When she had finished, Remus was looking at her with a mixture of disbelief and happiness in his eyes.

"So, you have been able to make this potion?" Was all he managed to say. Lily nodded once again and without another word, she took hold of his hand and all but dragged him through the warren – like corridors until they finally came to a stop in front of the Girls' Bathroom. Remus simply stared at the door with a raised eyebrow.

"I hate to break this to you Lily but this is the old girls' toilets, not the potions classroom." He said evenly. Lily simply rolled her eyes.

"No, silly, we had to brew the potion in secret so we decided here was the best place. Hold on." Before Remus could utter another word, Lily had slipped into the room, before promptly returning with a small glass vial in her hands.

"Here it is." She said slightly breathlessly as she pressed the vial into his hands. Remus stared down at it in wonder.

"Lil, this is….Thank you!" He cried euphorically, but before either of them knew what was happening, Remus had pressed his lips to Lily's. A second later they both jumped back and stared at each other in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry Remus…I can't…" Lily said and with her blood pounding in her ears, she ran away from him down the corridor. Remus stared after her feeling utterly lost. Neither of them saw the smug expression and the grey eyes that were lurking in the shadows.

As Leah saw Lily flee the scene, she had only one thought in mind: This was the perfect revenge.

**Well I hope you like this chapter guys – What do you think is going to happen? – Sorry for not updating yesterday – our internet went down **** so I am now typing this at my Granddad's house. Next chapter up hopefully tomorrow **** Em xx**


	13. Rumours

**Chapter 13 – Rumours**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter. All rights to J.K Rowling**

Lily didn't stop running until she came to a dark deserted corridor somewhere on the third floor. Feeling all her energy suddenly sapped from her body, Lily fell against the nearest wall and sank to the floor, she put her head in her hands. _Why did that happen? Why?! _She asked herself repeatedly as she sat in the semi – darkness; she looked down at her hands, the terrible feelings of guilt and shame making her want to cry and scream all at once. She could not believe in one single moment she had managed to destroy it all – her friendship with Remus, James' trust. _James. _She felt her heart begin to pound painfully in her chest, how was she ever going to tell him – it would break his heart. At last, she gave into her feelings and let the tears of anguish and fury spill from her eyes like a waterfall.

Lily did not know quite how long she had sat there, but after a while, she noticed just how dark it had become. She hurriedly wiped her eyes in a vain attempt to hide her sadness as she got to her feet and made the slow and painful journey to the Gryffindor Common Room. She gave the password to the Fat Lady in a heavy voice and bracing herself, stepped into the bubble of the room. As she walked through, her eyes immediately went to James, who was sitting on one of the squishy sofas by the fire, laughing and playing around with Sirius and Peter. When his eyes fell on Lily, he gave her a wide, caring smile, the sort that before would have made her heart soar but now it just made her stomach twist and grind with the guilt that was slowly eating away at her.

"Hey, I didn't see you after dinner, are you alright?" James asked suddenly frowning as he noticed the slight red tinge under her eyes. Lily nodded dumbly. "Did you give the potion to Remus?" The very sound of his name made Lily want to shout out her guilt.

"Yes, I did." She said very quietly. James gave her a questioning look.

"Did he like it? I saw him go through here and he looked...well..Kinda sad." James said as he thought back to when he had seen Remus trudge through the Common Room with a look of pure torment on his exhausted face. Lily bit her lip and closed her eyes, she should tell him, she wanted to tell him.

"James, I –" Lily began, but before she got any further there was the sound of the Portrait Hole opening, everyone looked around to see an enraged – looking Professor McGonagall stomping into the common room.

"I can hear the noise from this room from the bottom of the stairs! You should all be in bed!" She said in a very loud, but incredibly stern voice that ricocheted around the now silent room. With one final glare at her students, she spun around and walked briskly back out of the Portrait Hole.

"Well you heard her – off to bed midgets!" Sirius called in his best authoritive voice as he eyed the lower years, who all nodded and promptly left for their dormitories.

"We had better go to bed, don't want to be on the receiving end of McGonagall's wrath." James said teasingly. He gave Lily a final kiss on the cheek and ran to the Boys' Dormitories. Lily watched him leave, the pain in chest increasing ten – fold.

"Everything alright, Lily?" Sirius' voice snapped Lily back to reality. Looking around, she was surprised to see that everyone had left for their dormitories except for the two of them. She couldn't tell Sirius, they had never been particularly close, but if he found out how much she had betrayed James, he would hate her beyond imagining. Lily began to shake her head, but then, all at once, all of the emotions that she had been trying conceal finally boiled over and she sank into the nearest chair, sobbing.

"Hey, hey. What is it Lily?" Sirius asked soothingly as he came to sit beside her, rubbing her back in a friendly fashion.

"I am...a...terrible...person." Lily managed to choke out. Sirius looked utterly taken aback.

"I very much doubt that's true. You are the kindest person I know." He said truthfully, but Lily merely shook her head miserably.

"You wouldn't say that if you knew." She croaked. Sirius stopped rubbing her back and looked at her quizzically.

"OK, tell me." Lily wiped her nose on her sleeve but stayed silent. "Lil, I can't help if you don't tell me." Sirius said. Taking a shaky breath, Lily dived into the story of her and James making the potion for Remus' condition and finally perfecting it, then as she came to the part about giving the potion to Remus, she faltered.

"Well that's great, isn't it? You managed to help Remus with his condition." Sirius asked, obviously confused by Lily's guilt and upset.

"That bit was great, it was after. When I gave Remus the potion...he...he kissed me." She finally stammered. She waited, waited for Sirius to explode, to yell at her, to call James and have her admit her guilt to him, but instead, he stared at her with a glimmer of brotherly comfort in his blue eyes.

"And now I have betrayed James and...And I clearly don't deserve him, or his love." Lily concluded, distraught.

"I have just one question: Did you kiss him back?" Lily shook her head without hesitation. She knew without a doubt that she had not kissed him back, she simply didn't think of him in that way.

"Well then there is no fault." Sirius replied, Lily felt her jaw drop slightly. What on earth did he mean? "Lily you did not kiss him back. Look, I know Remus, he thinks of you as a very dear friend, or even as a sister, but certainly not as anything more. Anything that the kiss meant was not malicious or to break you and James up, it would have just been out of gratitude." Lily nodded and tried to give Sirius a weak smile, which he returned.

"Just talk to Remus, you need to talk about this, or it will just get worse." Sirius said simply. Lily nodded again, knowing in her heart that he was right.

"I will. Thank you, Sirius." Lily said as she gave him a grateful, slightly awkward hug.

"I am always here for you." He said sincerely. Lily pulled back, astonishment written across her face.

"Really? I thought, well that you didn't particularly like me." She said, voicing the thought that had been plaguing her mind for several months. Sirius gave her a look of utter shock.

"Why would you think that?"

"I always turned James down, made him unhappy, spoilt all your fun last year." She said, listing all the things she had confiscated from the group of boys during her time as Prefect. Sirius gave a light chuckle as she finished.

"Lil, you have made James the happiest I have seen him in a long time. As for the tricks and pranks, well we probably deserved it." He shrugged as he thought back to just how immature and impractical a lot of them had been. Lily gave a small laugh, then giving Sirius a final hug, stood up.

"Thanks for listening and for your advice. It really helped." She said a bit more brightly as she walked up to the Girls' Dormitories, feeling slightly more at peace than when she had entered the room.

The next afternoon, James found himself in the stillness of the library finishing his non – verbal spells essay. Under normal circumstances, he would have probably left this essay to the last minute, but due to the horrible weather conditions, he had nothing better to do.

Just as he was completing his final sentence, James felt a shadow fall across his desk. Looking up, he felt his face set into a glare.

"What do you want?" He asked grudgingly as he began to roll up his parchment and stuff it back into his bag.

"I needed to talk to you." Leah said in a quiet voice as she slid into the seat next to him. James gave an agitated sigh and turned to her.

"Well I don't have anything to say to you." He stood up to leave, but Leah placed a soft hand on his arm to stop him.

"It's important, really." She said, the look of apprehension on her face made James sit back down. "I didn't want to say anything but I felt you needed to know." She began.

"Know what?" James said, feeling his irritation creeping back, he was not in the mood for one of her silly games.

"Have you noticed Remus' sudden uneasy attitude towards your girlfriend?" Leah asked slowly as she looked James dead in the eye. James stopped fiddling with his bag and looked back at her. In truth, he had noticed, it had unsettled him slightly, but he had not given it a great deal of thought.

"So?" He pressed. Leah managed to stop a smirk reaching her lips as she carried on.

"Yesterday evening, after dinner I saw them, outside the Girls' Toilets. He kissed her." She finished. James suddenly felt as if someone had punctured a balloon in his chest and it was fast deflating.

"I am only telling you what I saw. I just, thought you had a right to know." She said in a falsely sincere voice. But James barely heard her, his ears were ringing and his heart was thumping uncomfortably against his rib cage.

"Right...Thanks." He answered distractedly and without another word, he exited the library. Leah stared after him, the smirk that she had been forcing down finally curling her lips – now it was only a matter of time before it all fell apart.

Lily entered the Common Room with her stomach grinding like a clogged wheel. She had wanted to speak to Remus all day, but whenever she had seen him, he had turned at rushed away from her. But as she walked into the warmth of the scarlet – coloured room, her eyes fell on the hunched figure by the fire; Remus.

Dropping her bag, she walked dubiously over to him and perched herself on the arm of the closest chair. She waited until he finally turned his ashamed and awkward gaze on her and flinched slightly as he did so.

"Remus, we need to talk –" But the sound of the Portrait Hole loudly opening cut her off and they both looked over to see an ashen – faced James walking briskly in. As his eyes fell on Remus and Lily sitting near eachother, he felt his rage and hurt boil up once again in his chest.

"I need to know if it's true." He said in a hoarse whisper as he looked from one to the other.

"James –" Lily tried to begin but James cut her off with a watery voice.

"Did you kiss him?" He asked as he felt the tears pricking the back of his eyes but he blinked them away furiously, he would not cry. Lily stared at him, struck dumb.

"James, this was not her fault. It was mine." Remus uttered timidly. James turned on him, the betrayal too great for words.

"You were like my brother. You knew I loved her..." he trailed off as he felt his voice fail him.

"It's true, Remus did kiss me. But not out of malice or to drive us apart but out of gratitude, for the potion, for what _we _did for him." Lily said, desperately wanting to James to see her and Remus' side of the story. Then a thought struck her. "How did you know?"

"Leah told me, she saw you." James practically spat. At last, Lily understood, this is what she had wanted all along.

"James you have to believe us, it meant nothing, not like that. If we could take it back we would." Lily said, whilst Remus nodded in whole – hearted agreement. James stared at the two of them uncertainly.

"Think about it James." Remus began, stepping forward to address his friend. "You said yourself that Leah was spiteful and wanted you to leave Lily, she has just wanted to find something to drive the two of you apart. You can't let her win." Remus said as he stared unblinkingly at James, whose face softened at last and nodded.

"I believe you." He said, his throat too tight for any other words, he strode forwards and pulled Lily into a loving embrace and planted a sweet kiss of relief on her forehead. They broke apart and James stepped towards Remus and held out a hand to him; Remus clasped it in his own and James pulled him into a brotherly hug.

"I'm sorry, mate. Truly." Remus said. James pulled back and waved off his apology.

"I am sorry for not believing you. You are my brother Remus, in all but blood. I should never doubt your loyalty." Remus nodded and the two of them laughed with relief and joy. Lily looked between the two boys and for the first time in a couple of days, she was able to smile a true smile that reached up to brighten her eyes. At that moment she realised just how determined Leah was to break her and James apart and she also realised just how destructive a rumour could be.

**I hope you like this chapter – my broadband is finally fixed so will be updating at normal rate now **** Hope you are all alright – Much love – Em xx**


	14. First Date

**Chapter 14 – First Date**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter. All rights to J.K Rowling**

As the days January flew into February, the whole school began to buzz with talk of the Valentine's trip to Hogsmeade.

"I don't care for this lovey – dovey stuff but I need to stock up on new pranking equipment." Sirius said as he sat down to a hearty breakfast one morning. Remus frowned at him over the top of his book.

"I thought you said you were going to 'tone down' the pranks this year." Remus stated as he remembered back to the end of the previous year when Sirius had finally conceded to a fuming Lily following a particularly nasty incident with a fire – cracker and a first year. Sirius merely shrugged.

"But, Moony, Valentine's Day is a _special _day and for that reason calls for a special celebration." He replied casually but Remus could clearly see the glint in his eye that told him that whatever this _special celebration _was, it was not at all within school rules. They never were.

Remus scold was interrupted by someone falling onto the bench beside him with a deep, exhausted sigh. Looking over, Remus was especially surprised to see that the someone was James.

"Alright there Prongs?" Remus asked finally closing his book. James lifted his head off his arms and gave his friend a rather miserable expression.

"Prongs is having lady troubles." Sirius managed to say loudly through a mouthful of eggs and bacon, making Remus and James wrinkle their noses in disgust.

"Thanks Padfoot, I really wanted the whole school to hear that." James grumbled as he aimed a kick at Sirius under the table.

"What kind of 'lady troubles'?" Remus asked slightly dubiously, after the incident with Lily he had been particularly careful to avoid getting involved in their relationship. James gave a sigh before launching into his dilemma.

"I want to take Lily out on a date...a proper date, but its Valentine's Day and we all know that..."

"Lily hates Valentine's Day." Remus and Sirius said together. It was common knowledge that Lily Evans hated Valentine's Day; she saw it as just a false commercialisation of love and she had always said that you should show the person you love how you feel every day, not just on one day.

"I see your problem." Remus admitted, nodding. "But you show her all the time you love her, heck, you say it often enough." Remus continued, ignoring the obvious sickened look coming from Sirius. It was also common knowledge that Sirius was no fan of romance.

"I know that. I just don't want her to think that I am taking her on a date just because it's Valentine's Day." James answered hopelessly; he rested his head back on his arms and tried to sort out all his thoughts.

"OK, well I am no expert and I mean _no expert _but I think you should take her out, just don't take her where she expects. Be spontaneous." Sirius said as he finished his plateful, looking up to see Remus and James staring at his agape.

"I have my moments of brilliance." Sirius answered simply and without another word, he got up and left the Great Hall, leaving his two friends in complete and utter shock.

"He's right you know." Remus said breaking the silence, James nodded, and he knew Sirius was right; it was just a matter of thinking of something spontaneous.

As the Valentine's Day drew closer, Lily found herself spending more and more time in the library or by the lake. She could not stand the girls giggling and gossiping about roses and love letters from secret admirers. When she had been younger, she had loved the thought of receiving a card from someone who liked her, but now she saw that it was just an excuse for people to spend money on flowers and expensive dates one day and to just be back to normal the next. She would rather have nobody at all than just empty promises and presents.

On the day before Valentine's Day, Lily had taken herself off to the edge of the lake, underneath the large tree and was just watching the orange sun sinking behind the horizon when a voice broke through the tranquillity.

"Um...Lily." She whipped her head round to see James walking awkwardly up to her before settling down beside her on the grass.

"Hi." She said as she leaned over to kiss him. As she drew back, she saw that there was a look of severe worry in his hazel orbs. "What is it?"

"I wanted to talk to you about something, but I don't know how you're going to react." He said as he twisted his fingers nervously.

"Well we won't know until you tell me." She replied evenly as she looked at him, feeling her own nervousness seeping into her.

"We have been dating for, well a while now and I realised I haven't taken you out on a date, a proper date. I wondered if you would like to go tomorrow. I know you don't like Valentine's Day and I get that, but I wanted to take you out on a proper date, not because it's Valentine's Day." He said hurriedly, as he tried to look anywhere but into Lily's eyes.

"James..." She said quietly, slowly, very slowly he turned his gaze onto her face. She had no sign of anger or sarcasm in her eyes, she just looked pleased. "I think that sounds like a great idea." She whispered as she placed a sweet kiss on his cheek.

"You do? Great! I promise, Lil, it'll be a date to remember." He said excitedly, relief flooding through him like fast – running water. Giving her a final kiss he stood up, he had stuff to arrange. "Great, I'll see you later." With that, he practically ran off towards the castle. Lily smiled after him; she had never thought she would see the day when she, Lily Evans, would say yes to a Valentine's Day date. Well, there was a first time for everything.

James awoke the next morning with a strange fizzing in his abdomen. Throwing back the covers, he quickly got changed and went down for an early breakfast. But as he sat down at the table, he found that he was not hungry in the slightest, his stomach felt like a pile of rope knotting and unknotting itself. He was nervous, he so wanted to impress Lily, he wanted to show her that his love for her was not just empty words, he wanted to show her that not all love stories ended the way of her parents'. But most of all, he wanted to surprise her, really surprise her. Swigging back the last of his pumpkin juice, he strode from the Great Hall – he had a plan.

When the large clock struck midday and resounded loudly around the school grounds, a large number of students swarmed out of the school began to make their way to Hogsmeade village.

James waited outside the front gates, wringing his hands both in an attempt to keep them warm and to try and distract himself from his nerves that were jangling like loud bells.

When at last he saw Lily appearing through the crowd, a huge smile lit up his face and he walked up to her and pulled her into a warm hug. Then, taking her hand, they walked together to the village. They spent the journey discussing sweet nothings, but when they reached the village, Lily was surprised that instead of James leading her into the village itself, he took to one of the small lanes that ran around the side of it.

"Where are we going?" She asked as she felt her arms becoming numb with the cold. James gave her a childlike smile and a wink.

"You'll see." Lily frowned a little but followed him nonetheless, until they came upon an empty field. James opened the old and rusty gate and held it open for Lily.

"Milady." He said poshly, Lily giggled and gave him a small curtsey before walking through. James took her hand again and walked through the frosty grass until they reached what Lily guessed was the middle of the field. James suddenly stopped short and pulled his wand out of his pocket and uttered a quick spell. All at once, the frost on the small patch of grass before them began to melt and was replaced with blue and white hydrangeas; Lily's favourite flower. She gasped audibly as a large lace blanket appeared on top of the flowers and on top of that, a wicker basket full of all kinds of food and drink.

"I told you it would be a date to remember." He said, pleased that she seemed so happy with his efforts. Lily turned her beaming eyes on him and threw her arms around his neck.

"This is phenomenal. I could not have asked for more." She mumbled into his shoulder. He smiled against her hair. They pulled apart and James took her hands in his and led her to the picnic.

As they tucked into their luxurious feast, they talked about their families and their hopes and dreams. And as they sat there together they could both say they had never been more content.

"This was fantastic, James." Lily said as she finished the desert that James had prepared, bread and butter pudding. She smiled at him as she began to pack away the picnic, but James reached out a hand and touched her tenderly on the arm, making her stop and look at him.

"I wanted to give you this." James began as he pulled a ring out of his pocket; it was a small ring with silver jewels covering the entire outside. "It was my grandmother's, it is an eternity ring. She told me to give it to the girl I love, the girl I wanted to love forever." He said sincerely and with Lily's permission, he slid the ring onto her ring finger. Lily stared down at the piece of jewellery in awe. Then a wave of guilt enveloped her, she had not prepared anything nearly as wonderful or meaningful as this.

"I'm sorry; my gift is, not anywhere near as special as yours." She admitted, feeling a little ashamed. James shook his head, the very fact that she was here meant more to him than words could ever say.

"My gift to you is...my heart. I give you my heart, James Potter." She whispered; James was utterly dazed, she had said that her gift was not special; this was the most special thing in the world.

"Lily, that is the most precious and priceless gift I have ever been given. I promise I will look after your heart and treat it with all the love and happiness it deserves, my darling." He promised as he cupped Lily's face in his hands and gave her a long, loving kiss.

"Well I think we can safely say one thing." She mumbled against his lips, James leaned back a little and gave her a quizzical look. "You have certainly changed my opinion on Valentine's Day." They broke into laughter as they smiled fondly at eachother.

"I love you, my Valentine. Now and forever." James said truthfully as he stroked her cheek with his thumb. Lily closed her eyes, wanting to savour every moment of this day.

"I love you too. With all my heart." She responded as she leaned her forehead against his. This had been an absolutely perfect Valentine's Day.

**I hope you like this chapter – sorry it's a bit short – they will be longer from now on. Please read & review – Em xx**


	15. Patronuses & Promises

**Chapter 15 – Patronuses and Promises**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter. All rights to J.K Rowling**

As the Easter Holidays drew nearer, so did the looming dates for exams. In order to prepare them for these exams, many of the teachers had frequently set long and increasingly complicated tests and experiments in class. Due to the increased workload, Lily found herself spending almost every waking moment in the Library, behind her make – shift wall of books and parchment.

"I thought I might find you in here." A voice ripped Lily's mind from her detailed diagram on the transfiguration of a pig into a chest of gold. Looking around, she was met with the very tired but still jovial face of Remus.

"How did you guess?" Lily asked sarcastically as she made room on the clutter bench for him to sit down. Remus shrugged.

"Well, since whenever there has been a test or just a piece of extra homework, you practically lock yourself away in here." Remus replied, as he gaze flowed around the room of dusty and rickety shelves. Lily gave a light chuckle and nodded.

"You know me all too well." Lily admitted as she gave her friend a nudge with her shoulder.

"Hey, Lil. I wanted to talk to you about something." Remus said, all of a sudden solemn. Lily put down her buzzard feather quill and turned to him, giving him her full attention.

"Sure, you can talk to me about anything." Lily assured him. Remus looked down, picking nervously at the edge of the table. Lily suddenly felt her heart rate increase with anxiety.

"Remus, you're kind of scaring me now. What's up?" She asked as she tried to force a small smile to defuse the obvious tension between them.

"Well, I wanted to apologise, properly. I feel like I ruined things between us." Remus stammered miserable. Lily drew a deep breath, sympathy flooding her eyes. She reached across the table and placed her hand on top of Remus'.

"Remus, you didn't ruin anything between us. You can't think that, I don't." Lily replied encouragingly, she hated the thought of Remus being racked with guilt on her account. Remus gave her an uncertain look and nodded half – heartedly. "Let's make a promise that we will never let something like this divide our friendship again." Lily said as she sat up straighter in her chair and extended her hand out to Remus, who gave a small laugh but nonetheless, took Lily's outstretched hand and shook it formerly.

"I promise." He said solemnly. The two of them laughed, as Lily caught sight of the time on her watch.

"We had better go to DADA." She said and Remus helped her collect her numerous books and spare pages as they made their way to their next lesson.

"Today is a practical lesson." Fidens, their Defense Against the Dark Arts professor told his sixth year class and they prepared to get out their books.

Lily felt a slight twinge of excitement, she always enjoyed practical lessons, and her hand was aching from all the notes she had been making for the last hour.

"Right, I want you to take a place around the room." Fidens said, once all the students had stood up, he made all the table levitate and were piled in three neat stacks along the far wall. Lily moved to find herself some space and awaited her teacher's instructions.

"Today, we will be attempting to create a Patronus. Does anyone know what a Patronus is?" He asked as he walked in between his students.

"It's a sort of shield that a wizard or witch creates to protect themselves from Dementor attack." A Ravenclaw answered almost instantaneously. Fidens smiled at her and nodded.

"Correct. And does anyone know what a Patronus looks like?" This time it was Remus who raised his hand.

"It is individual to each wizard or witch. It takes on the form of something, usually an animal." Remus answered intelligently.

"Welldone, Mr Lupin." Their professor praised. "I am not expecting you to be able to perform a Corporal Patronus today." He assured them as he saw several eyes widen in disbelief.

"What do we do to create this Patronus?" A tall Slytherin asked in a rather lofty voice and a slight sneer on his face.

"You have to think of a very happy memory or a very powerful memory. The incantation is _Expecto Patronum._ You may begin."

As Lily looked around she saw that many students, no matter how loudly or confidently they uttered the spell, not much happened. Occasionally, a silvery mist would erupt from their wand, but a moment later it would fade into nothing.

_A happy memory. _Lily tried to think, suddenly an image came into her head, their last proper family holiday. That had been very happy indeed. Keep that image firmly in her head, she raised her wand.

"_Expecto Patronum." _Lily said firmly and a sudden jet of white smoke flew out of her wand but it soon vanished again. Lily frowned, she was sure she had been happy then.

"Think of very happy memories!" Fidens instructed. Lily closed her eyes – happy. When had she been truly happy?

Then it came to her, when James had told her he loved her. She had been undeniably happy that day. When everything seemed to have been thrown into turmoil, his love for her had been the only sure thing. Taking firm hold of that very specific moment, she raised her wand and said the incantation.

"_Expecto Patronum." _What happened next took her completely off guard. Instead of the mere silver wisp that had appeared before, a giant silver form shot from the tip of her wand and grew larger as it flew away from her. The silvery mist slowly morphed into the distinct shape of a large doe. It raised its head proudly and then began to canter delicately around the room before fading back into the air.

"Fantastic Miss Evans." Fidens' booming voice snapped Lily back to reality and she saw that all the eyes of the room had turned to her in utter awe.

"Adequate for a Mudblood." Avery sneered loudly; there was a collective gasp and Fidens fixed him with a frightening glare.

"That is quite enough Mr Avery, I will not have such language in my classroom. That is a week's dentition and thirty points from Slytherin. Many of the Slytherin students, including Avery himself, glared back at their teacher venomously. One of the few who didn't was Severus, who could not help but fear that Lily was in even greater danger from Avery and his gang now.

Soon the time came for lunch and the students slowly filtered out towards the Great Hall. The Marauders and Lily walked to lunch with Frank, Alice and Emmeline.

"I ought to rip their filthy little heads off." Sirius was growling, reminded James of him in his Animagus form. He too wanted to get the Slytherins back for what they had called Lily.

"No you shouldn't." Lily replied with her usual patience. Sirius gave her a look of utter disbelief as he gestured towards the group of Slytherins in front of them.

"Lil, did you not hear what they called you?!" Sirius practically shouted. Lily looked at him and fixed with an understanding but firm expression.

"Yes I did, I was there." She stated. "But what would it solve?" Sirius put on a look of mock thoughtfulness.

"It would get rid of a few Slytherins for a start." Sirius said as the thought of killing Avery put a triumphant look in grey eyes.

"Perhaps, but it would cause so much more anger and drama. It's best just to let it go." Lily muttered, she too wanted to give Avery a piece of her mind, but she knew it would be no use at all and she would probably end up hurting those around her as well.

"Fine. But just say the words and they are dead meat." Sirius said threateningly. Lily gave him a grateful smile. Since she had talked to him about the incident between herself and James, the two of them had become much closer and Lily was very happy for his friendship and support.

"Lily, don't think about what they said. They are nothing and you are a far better person than they can ever hope to be." James said gently as he wrapped his arm protectively around Lily's shoulders. She stared down at her plate, that terrible word circling around in brain over and over again.

"It's just that word. I can't hear it without thinking about..." She trailed off as they both clearly remembered that fateful day by the lake after their DADA OWL exam.

"It'll be alright." James said rather helplessly. He knew he could do little to console Lily, but he could at least try. "I won't let anything like that happen again. I promise." He said as he kissed her temple. Lily smiled a very small, very strained smile as she tried to enjoy her lunch like everyone else.

When the eight of them had finished their rather subdued lunch, they decided that they would sit by the lake. However, before they even made it outside, they were stopped when three unwanted people blocked their path.

"Bet you thought you were very clever, Mudblood." Avery purred as he glared at Lily with a murderous glint in his eyes. James stepped forward and pushed Lily a little way behind him.

"Don't call her that." James growled deeply as he sized up the three, ugly Slytherins.

"Protecting her, how very _noble. _But you cannot protect her forever." Mulciber said with a hint of sick triumph in his voice. A deep growl issued from James' throat and even Lily stepped back a little, startled.

"I will give it a damn good try." He said. Both Avery and Muliciber scornfully laughed before taking a step towards them and fixing Lily with a malicious glower.

"It's a pity isn't it? That you couldn't keep your little friend Snape away from us. Not as good as friend as you first thought." Muliciber whispered smugly. This time it was Lily who growled, and before James knew what was happening, she had pushed past him and punched Muliciber full in the face, making him stagger backwards. Once his eyes had stopped watering, he turned his gaze on Lily and said the next words in a hoarse, forbidding tone.

"You will pay for that, Mudblood." Lily lifted her chin, she would not show those such as Muliciber and Avery that she was intimidated.

"Is that a threat?" She questioned in a voice that was far braver than she felt. Muliciber shook his head slowly from side to side, like a snake sizing up his prey.

"It is a promise." Without another word, the three Slytherin pushed past them and stalked off to the Great Hall.

Lily stared after their retreating figures and her courage and energy left her and she swayed slightly on the spot. James put his hands on each of her shoulders to steady her and he looked at her with a deeply concerned expression on his handsome features.

"What have I done?" She asked herself in a shaky voice. She did not know what Muliciber and Avery were capable of and she did not want to find out.

**I hope you like this chapter – I am sorry it is not very long – have had a busy day with AS results and whatnot! Hope you are all OK – Em xx**


	16. Departing for Eater & Dramatic Events

**Departing for Easter & Dramatic Events**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter. All right to J.K Rowling**

The time for the Easter holiday break soon came around; however this did not stop the teachers from setting the sixth year students mountainous amounts of homework for each and every subject.

"Can you believe this?! They call it a 'holiday', pfft!" Sirius exclaimed in a highly agitated tone as he slammed his potions book down on the table. James gave him an amused look, whilst Poppy threw him an exceedingly stern one that reminded the Marauders of McGonagall.

"Please, Sirius; you can get five Oustandings in your OWLs without even trying." Poppy muttered to him. Sirius gave her a look of mock outrage.

"I am hurt, Miss Spero, I will have you know I did try in my OWLs." He said in a very proud voice, Poppy made a derisive noise as she turned back to her work. It was common knowledge that Sirius had never bothered to study for an exam until the night before, at the earliest. It had even been known for him to study mere minutes before his exam was due to start.

"OK – no fighting – we are in a library after all," James said as he hoped to diffuse the tension and earning a very stern look from Madame Pince. "It is the Easter holidays tomorrow, and you know what that means...?" James asked in a low, overly dramatic voice.

"Chocolate!" Sirius called in a low voice.

"Easter egg hunts!" Poppy replied, causing a confused look from both boys, they had clearly never heard of an Easter egg hunt.

"No, going home – a break from school. But chocolate is also a good point." James said jabbing his in Sirius' direction. Poppy smiled gleefully at the thought of spending Easter with her family, her little brother and sister always became so excited when they organised an Easter egg hunt. Sirius, on the other hand did not look half as pleased. All of a sudden, James realised what he had just said.

"Hey, Padfoot, I'm sorry -" James began, but Sirius cut him off with an easy wave of his hand.

"Don't worry about it. I just hope that your mum and dad will let me come over. I think I could just about take five minutes at my house." Sirius muttered, grimacing, James knew full well that Sirius hated his family and their views on blood status and Voldemort.

"You know they will, they love you." James said, hoping to reassure Sirius, he hated to see his best friend so down. Sirius forced a smile before packing up his books and quills into his bag.

"Right, that is more than enough studying for today. You coming?" He asked the other two, who nodded and quickly packed up their things and they exited the stuffy library together.

Lily was packing up her trunk ready for the next day when Alice entered the dormitory and fell down on her bed. Lily raised an eyebrow as she looked at her friend.

"You alright there?" Lily asked sceptically. Alice raised her head a fraction, her mousy brown hair covering her eyes. She gave a small grunt before letting her head fall heavily back onto the bed. "I'm going to take that as a 'no'." Lily murmured as she walked round and sat herself gently down next to Alice.

"I am such an _idiot!_" Alice mumbled into the mattress, her head still concealed from view. There was a very pregnant pause as Lily waited for her friend to explain herself. After several minutes, Alice finally sat up, pushing the hair out of her eyes. Lily was suddenly able to see just how miserable Alice truly looked.

"Alice, what on earth is wrong?" Lily asked, feeling truly worried now.

"I told Frank I loved him." Alice blurted out; Lily could not help but let her jaw drop a little. "That is exactly what he looked like." Alice said in a dead serious tone as she gestured towards Lily's shocked expression.

"So, what happened?" Lily asked unsurely, Alice shook her head, scoffing at her own foolishness.

"He just gave me this shocked look and then didn't say anything. He then said 'I have to go and thinks things through' and left." Alice groaned before resting her head on Lily's shoulder feeling completely depressed.

"I'm sure it will all be fine." Lily said her voice far more hopeful than she felt. Alice shook her head.

"I've ruined it all." Lily turned and faced her.

"Don't ever think that, it is not over until it has been ended." Lily told her in a very determined voice. Alice wiped her nose on her sleeve and nodded, although there was still the glimmer of unshed tears in her eyes.

Lily waited until Alice had fallen asleep, exhausted by the stress of all the day's events, before she quietly crept out of the dormitory to look for Frank. She could not bear to see her best friend so distressed, she would make it right, she had to.

Lily looked quickly around the common room as she walked through, but there was no sign of Frank. She racked her brains for all the places she could think of. She was sure that Frank would have gone to one of his favourite places to think; then it came to her, so obvious she was confused as to why she had not thought of it before. The Black Lake. It was where Frank had asked Alice to be his girlfriend; he had also once told Lily that it was a great place to mull things over. Increasing the speed of her step, Lily changed her direction and headed towards the dark, glistening water.

However, when she got there, there seemed to be no sign of Frank. She was just about to give up when the gentle _splosh _of water reached her ears; walking towards the sound, she turned a corner and at last saw Frank. He was skimming stones across the still water; they bounced of its sparkling surface a couple of times before finally dived nose down into its shadowy depths.

"Frank...?" Lily asked uncertainly, she had not prepared anything to say to him, and now that she saw him here looking highly dejected, she was all but lost for words. Frank flicked his head towards her for a fraction of a second, as if to flick off an insect.

"Did Alice tell you what happened?" But before Lily could muster up a response, Frank answered for her. "Of course she did." His tone was not angry or upset, but listless, as if the very life and soul of his voice had been stolen from him.

"Yes, she did. Frank, what is going on?" Lily asked, desperate to understand just what had happened between her two friends. Frank gave a half – hearted shrug as he threw a stone with such force that it did not skim, but just simply sunk deep down into the watery depths.

"I don't know, Lily. I just don't!" Frank said, his voice rising. Then a frown creased on his forehead. "Why are you here?" Lily was taken aback by the sudden sharpness of his tone.

"I came here because Alice was worried about you! She thinks she has ruined everything and you are not helping matters by being out here!" Lily said, her voice rising too. When he heard that Alice was worried, all of Frank's anger left him and he just felt empty.

"Is she OK?" He asked as his head turned in the direction of the castle. Lily shrugged, her anger still bumbling slightly inside her.

"She needs you. You need to talk this over." Frank shook his head, throwing another stone into the lake.

"Why not? Do you not love her?" Lily asked, aghast. Frank stopped dead, and spun around to her, his face pasty white.

"Of course I do!" Frank replied angrily, he gave a sigh and put his fingers to his head. "I didn't know what to say. I've never had a girl tell me they love me before and I don't know, I guess I just...freaked out." Frank admitted now feeling entirely idiotic. All the anger suddenly evaporated from Lily and she gave Frank a considerate look.

"Please, just talk to her. She is going crazy because she thinks she has upset you, and ruined your relationship. Just go and talk to her before I am forced to do something that I will regret." Lily explained with a threatening, but bemused tone. Frank nodded, looking suddenly rather frightened of the feisty redhead before him; giving her a final nod, he ran towards the castle. Lily shook her head as she stared after him, she knew she would probably get an earful from Alice later for meddling but she just hated to see two people who were obviously compatible with eachother be at odds.

That evening, as Lily sat in the Great Hall with Poppy and Remus, she saw Alice and Frank walk up to the Gryffindor Table looking far more at ease with eachother.

"Hello you two." Poppy began in a rather girly voice. "Where have you been?" She continued, her tone growing more teasing by the second. Alice blushed a little and looked down at the wooden table, as if expecting it to give Poppy an answer for her. Remus, seeing that Alice was clearly uncomfortable answering Poppy's question, decided to change the subject.

"More to the point, where were you with that sixth year Hufflepuff boy this afternoon?" He asked, fixing Poppy with a playful stare, Poppy's head snapped to Remus, a dangerous scowl burning on her face.

"_That _is none of you business." Poppy replied, clearly affronted. Lily smirked at the two of them, but her gaze became serious again when she caught sight of the look of Alice's face, it plainly said: "We need to talk". Lily gave her a very awkward nod and the two of exited the Great Hall, all the while Lily's heart was beating like a kettle drum. They finally came to a stop in a secluded corner of a corridor a little way from the Great Hall.

"Ok, before you start, I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have meddled, but..." Lily trailed off; she knew she could not really justify her reasons.

"No, you shouldn't have meddled." Alice began, but then her frown disappeared and was replaced by a joyful smile. "But I am so glad you did." Before Lily could say anything, Alice pulled her into a hug.

"You're not angry?" Lily asked, thoroughly confused. Alice pulled back and looked her friend in the eye.

"Why would I be?"

"Because I meddled and because I shouted at Frank." Lily admitted, she had been rather hard on Frank. Alice chuckled slightly at this.

"Frank did tell me you scared him a little bit." Alice said good – humouredly. "I know why you meddled and I appreciate it. Thank you." Lily laughed and pulled Alice into another hug, simply happy that her impulsive nature had not ruined their friendship.

The next day was very hectic, students thronged towards the train, preparing for well – earned Easter break. Lily was just making her way out of the gates of the school, when a silky voice spoke to her, making her stop.

"Can I talk to you?" Turning, Lily saw Snape standing next to the great iron gates, his expression grim and determined. Knowing she had no real choice in the matter, Lily gave a curt nod and walked over to him.

"What is it?" She asked shortly, she knew she had nothing left to say to him anymore. Snape covered up the hurt at her frustrated tone as he continued.

"I wanted to apologise for...for what happened in the Defense Against Dark Arts class." Snape stammered as his shifted uneasily under Lily's penetrating gaze. Lily gave a disbelieving scoff and Snape's head snapped up at once. "I am!" He tried to assure her, but she still did not believe him; how could she?

"Really? Why are you apologising? I am just a Mudblood after all." Lily hissed furiously.

"Don't call yourself that." Snape said in an undertone. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Why not? You did and so do all your little friends." Lily threw back, Snape had to resist the urge to flinch, and he should have known that it would have been thrown back in his face. She had not forgiven him for it in fifth year; why should be any different now?

"I just wanted to tell you to be careful. Avery and Mulciber, they can be pretty dangerous. Just watch your back." He warned.

"Thanks for the warning." Lily said, rather taken aback by the seriousness of his tone and the concern that had filled his eyes. Still feeling confused, she turned around and joined the other students making their way to the Hogwart's Express.

The train journey home was not overly loud, Sirius was quiet, thinking about the times to come at his home; Alice and Frank were sitting together, content enough in each other's company without having to chatter constantly and Lily was looking out of the window, her conversation with Snape replaying itself over and over again in her head.

Before they knew it, the train had ground to a halt at King's Cross and the students departed the train, taking it in turns for only a few to travel through the barrier to the Muggle world, so not to raise suspicion.

"Are you alright?" James' kind voice wrenched Lily from her thoughts and she nodded absent – mindedly. "You seem a bit quiet is all." He continued, Lily looked up at him and put on a false smile.

"I'm fine, just thinking." James nodded, accepting her reason, though still not believing her entirely. He knew her far too well to be fooled like that.

Together they ran through the barrier and through to the Muggle side once again. Lily's eye's roamed the crowd until they fell on her mother. Lily was relieved to see that she looked far better than she had when she had last seen her. The listless look had gone from her eyes, and some of the old youthfulness was returning to them. Her clothing had changed from comfort clothes to her traditional smart outfits and her smile no longer looked painfully forced.

"Hello sweetheart!" Mrs Evans exclaimed as she wrapped her daughter in a big hug.

"Hello James." Mrs Evans said as she realised her daughter and shook James' hand.

"Lovely to see you Mrs Evans." He answered politely. Then James caught sight of his parents, smiling jovially over at their son.

"I have to go. Have a wonderful Easter, Lily." He said giving Lily a gentle kiss on the cheek before turning to her mother. "Lovely to meet you Mrs Evans." He said before walking briskly over to his parents, only to be enveloped in hugs from both of them.

"Such a nice boy." Mrs Evans said, looking after James as he exited the train station with his parents, talking animatedly with them as they went. Lily nodded, smiling at her mother's obvious approval. "Come on, let's go home." Mrs Evans concluded as she helped her daughter push her heavy trolley out King's Cross Station.

"So that was Lily?" Mrs Potter asked as she pushed open the gigantic oak front door of the Potter residence after apparating from the Station. James nodded.

"Well she looks lovely, you must bring her here. I would love to meet her, wouldn't you Rhys?" Mrs Potter asked, looking over at her husband, who nodded whole – heartedly.

"Yes, that would be wonderful." He agreed. Once his wife had left the room, he turned to his son, who was now nearly as tall as him.

"So you caught your snitch then?" He asked, James nodded unable to prevent the grin from spreading across his face.

"Yeah, I guess I did." He breathed.

That evening, the Potters sat in the large dining room eating the Roast Duck and vegetables that Hannah, the family house elf, had cooked as a special welcome home for the holidays for James. Hannah had served the family for countless years, but unlike some wizarding families, the Potter's treated Hannah with all the respect and dignity she deserved, she was seen and treated as a member of the family.

Just as Hannah was clearing away the empty plates, there was a knock on the front door. Hannah went to answer it, but James stood up instead.

"It's alright Hannah, I'll go." He said, walking down the long corridor to the front door. Upon opening it, a rather horrific sight met his eyes. Standing on the door mat with a large rucksack and several very nasty cuts and bruising covering his face and arms was Sirius.

"Sirius, what happened?" James asked his eyes wide with horror as he took in his friend's broken and battered form.

"My parents happened." Sirius replied in a rather cracked voice, a world apart from his usual carefree tone.

"Come in." James said hurriedly, pulling the door back wider to allow Sirius to walk in.

"James, who is –my God..." Mr Potter gave Sirius the same look that his son had, he quickly made a chair fly out for Sirius to all but fall into. Mrs Potter made him a cup of tea, all the while throwing very nervous glances at him.

"What happened?" Mrs Potter asked as she placed the steaming mug in front of Sirius, who smiled gratefully up at her and took a tentative sip before answering her.

"My family, they were going on about some rubbish of blood purity and I just snapped...told them exactly what I thought of them. They showed me exactly what they thought of me." He explained, jabbing a finger at the purple and blue bruises which were blossoming all across his face.

"I'll talk to the Ministry in the morning." Mr Potter said, a look of pure fury had evolved on his face and for the first time in his life, James was actually terrified of his father.

"Rhys, I don't –" Mrs Potter began, but her husband cut her off.

"Joanna, this cruelty!" Mr Potter said in a loud voice, gesturing towards a very uncomfortable looking Sirius.

"Please, sir, don't. They are scum bags at the best of times without angering them. I would hate to see you get into trouble, so please, don't." Sirius begged, he knew exactly what his family were capable of, especially after this night, and he would hate to see anything bad happened to such good people as the Potters.

"Alright, but just say the word." Mr Potter said, relaxing a little. Sirius gave a light, appreciative chuckle. Then his brow creased again.

"What is it, dear?" Mrs Potter asked worriedly. Sirius took a deep breath before asking a big question.

"I know this is completely unorthodox and I will understand if you say no, but...may I stay here for a little while." Sirius asked in a very timid voice, he knew he was asking a lot.

"Of course you can, son." Mr Potter said almost instantaneously. "As long as it is not too much cooking for Hannah." Mr Potter stated, turning towards the small elf.

"No, it is fine Master Sirius." She said in a very happy and very squeaky voice.

"Well that settles it then." Mrs Potter said standing behind her husband and placing her hands on his shoulders. "I know James has wanted you stay here for longer before and now you can." She said, Sirius felt his battered face split into a blissful grin; he could not have been any happier, he was able to stay with the Potters, with the family who had wanted him. He breathed a sigh of relief, he knew now this his Easter holidays would be far better than he could have ever imagined.

**I hope you like this chapter **** I am also redoing some of my chapters in Lily & James – Life After 7t Year as some of them are not particularly great – Thanks for reading - Love Em xx**


	17. Parents' Approval

**Chapter 17 – Parents' Approval**

**I do not own Harry Potter. All rights to J.K Rowling**

Sirius had been staying with the Potters for just over a week when he noticed that James was acting very odd indeed.

"What's up mate?" Sirius asked as he finally decided to address the issue when he found James pacing the short hallway, wringing his hands in anxiety. James looked up and stopped dead in his tracks, clearly only noticing his friend's presence for the first time.

"I am very worried..." James began as he started his pacing once again and began muttering to himself quietly, whilst Sirius looked at him as if he had lost his mind.

"Are you going to tell me why?" Sirius asked as he leaned against the wall watching James with a highly bemused smile on his face.

"I asked Lily to come over and meet my parents today." James blabbered so fast that Sirius had a hard time understanding just what he had said. When he finally deciphered what James had stuttered, his eyebrows shot so high they were almost lost in his hairline.

"I thought that was a good thing." Sirius muttered confused.

"It is, I just...what if they don't like her?" Sirius made a disbelieving noise at this.

"Yeah, right." James raised an eyebrow, causing Sirius to roll his eyes in frustration. "Lily is the nicest and more decent person I have ever met, and I know you think the same; even though she has a seriously fiery temper on her. Besides, your parents let _me _stay here – I can't see there being a problem with Lily." Sirius said. James nodded thoughtfully, he knew his friend was right, but still he could not shake off the anxiety that was clinging to him like a Grindylow and was turning his stomach into a writhing snake pit.

"OK, I'll try and relax." James spoke up finally and Sirius gave a huge sigh.

"Thank Merlin for that! Now we can have some fun, I say let's go and de – gnome your garden, I love annoying those little creatures." Sirius suggested excitedly before bounding down the corridor like an excited puppy, calling to James as he went. James, shaking his head, followed.

In her house on Lavinia Road, Lily was feeling similarly nervous; she kept glancing at the clock every few minutes, something that amused her mother greatly.

"If I didn't know any better, I would say you were nervous." Mrs Evans commented good – humouredly, Lily gave her mother a very small smile. She was very happy that Viola was practically back to her old self.

"Just a little." Lily admitted, she knew it would be no good to lie to her mother, she knew her far too well for that. Mrs Evans gave her daughter and understanding look before walked over to her and stroking her hair soothingly.

"I am sure they will love you. How could they not?" She asked as she looked down at her little girl who had grown into a beautiful young woman far too quickly for her liking.

"You're my mother; you're supposed to say that." Lily said defeatedly; she was terrified she would be a disappointment to the Potters, they were one of the oldest wizarding families and she was just...a Muggleborn. Mrs Evans gave her daughter a final pat on the shoulder before taking herself upstairs, Lily had always had low self esteem when it came to others, she never thought herself worthy enough and it was just simply not true.

Out of the blue, a sudden knock on the door made Lily jump violently, she looked up at the clock again. He was early. Try to silence her nerves that were jangling like a wind chime on a stormy day, she went to the door and opened. On the other side was James with a broad smile on his face, and next to him was a happy looking Sirius, but Lily could instantly make out the pale marks of some very nasty bruises on his face.

"Hi." She managed to say at last. James returned her welcome in an equally nervous voice.

"Hello Lily flower, I must say you are looking positively radiant today." Sirius spoke up loudly, diffusing the tension as he stepped forward and took Lily's hand, kissing it with a joking look in his eyes. Lily laughed at his childishness, before she would have found it downright annoying, but now she found it rather humorous.

"I thought I heard voices." Mrs Evans had come down the hall at the sound of the two boys' arrival and was standing next to Lily, smiling openly.

"Well you must be Lily's mother. Well, I can see where Lily gets her good looks from." Sirius said in the same jovial tone. Mrs Evan laughed along with him.

"I am guessing this is Sirius Black." Mrs Evans stated, she had heard a great deal about the joker of the pack. Sirius looked suddenly very pleased indeed to already be known by Lily's mother.

"Yes the one and only...fortunately." Lily added the last part in a lower tone, but not so low that Sirius could not hear it and put on a face of mock hurt and outrage.

"And you must be James Potter; it is a pleasure to meet you." She said and she turned her warm gaze on James, who felt his stomach churn uncomfortably.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Mrs Evans." He said in a much quieter voice than his trademark boyish bark.

"Please call me Viola and the pleasure is all mine." James felt his nerves subside slightly as h nodded at her, finding her smile infectious.

"I'll see you later Mum." Lily said at last, up to that moment, she had been watching the pleasantries with a reserved happiness. James and Sirius gave Mrs Evans a final wave before the three of them walked down the small, neat street.

"So how exactly are we getting to your house?" Lily asked uncertainly, she was almost certain that they would not find the Potters' home on a quaint Muggle street.

"The Knight Bus." Sirius said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and Lily was completely mad to have to ask. Without another word, Sirius stuck out his hand horizontally in front of him. Lily raised an eyebrow, wondering if Sirius had finally lost his mind.

"What is the Kn –" However, her words were muted when a purple bus that seemed to appear from nowhere pulled up right in front of them. It was no ordinary bus either, as Lily looked the vehicle up and down, she saw to her amazement and mystification, that this bus had three stories. The doors of the bus creaked open and revealed a rather old looking man in an old fashioned conductor's uniform.

"Welcome to the Knight Bus –" The conductor began in a very wheezy, yet very proud voice. But Sirius cut him off as he gently pushed Lily, who had trouble taking her eyes off this strange contraption, onto the bus ahead of him.

"Yeah, yeah, we know." James got on last and told the conductor the address, paying him a few gold and silver coins before he sat down next to Lily. The bus then shot forward violently and Lily saw to her intense astonishment that they were now racing along a dusty country lane; but she did not have long to admire the view, as next moment, the bus gave another unsettling jerk and they were on an old cobblestone street with big, formidable houses and dark towers. Another lurch and they finally came to a rather disagreeable halt; Lily had to cling to the sides of her seat to prevent her from being thrown over the next seat.

"Well, here you are," The conductor wheezed as the doors squeaked open. "Ellenlic Court." As Lily exited the bus, she could not help but let her eyes grow as wide as dinner plates. In front of her was a long driveway lined with peach blossom trees that sparkled and danced, as if they had pixies inside them. But it was not the driveway that had caused Lily's amazement; it was what was at the end of it. Standing as proud as a memorial for a battle hero was a large mansion, the biggest Lily had ever laid eyes on.

"Wow..." She breathed as she took in the pure splendour of the place. James cast her an amused look.

"Come on, Lils you haven't even seen the inside yet!" Sirius said excitedly as he all but sprinted to the house; Lily and James lagging behind a little.

"Are you alright?" James tried to see into Lily's face, but it was hidden by a curtain of red hair as she continued to stare at her feet. Then, slowly, very slowly, she lifted her head, ready to voice her drawn – out fears at last.

"What...what if they don't like me?" James' face suddenly fell, like a balloon that had just been quickly deflated. He stopped in his tracks, making Lily stop too.

"Lil, where is this coming from? Of course they will love you!" He responded, utterly flabbergasted, he could not believe just what Lily was implying.

"James – you are part of one of the very oldest wizarding families, you live in a fantastic mansion...and I am, just a Muggleborn." She whispered the last part, James felt himself fill with realisation and hurt. He used his finger to lift Lily's chin so her face was level with his, and he saw that her pale face was clouded by a million emotions, all too jumbled to make out clearly.

"My family is not like a lot of other old wizarding families, they do not care about blood status or fortune. They really wanted to meet _you. _They wanted to meet the girl I fell in love with, and they will love you too." He said with complete honesty and his eyes roamed her face. Screwing up the remainder of her courage, Lily nodded, she had to do this now or she would lose her nerve all together.

When they at last reached the Potters' residence, James pushed open the heavy front door, and called out into the silence, broken only by the rhythmic tick of the giant grandfather clock that stood regally in the hallway.

"Mum! Dad!" There was the soft sound of movement and next moment, a middle – aged woman appeared in the hall. As soon as her eyes fell on Lily, a smile crinkled her face and she walked forward briskly.

"Hello, you must be Lily, I am Joanna Potter." Joanna said as she smiled at the younger woman. She had known the girl was special, but as she looked upon her now, she saw a rare fiery passion that she seemed to radiate without even trying and yet her green eyes gave the effect of soothing patience.

"Thank you for inviting me over, Mrs Potter." Lily said politely as she returned the older woman's smile.

"A pleasure, my dear. Rhys, come and meet our guest." A few moments later, an older man appeared next to Mrs Potter and Lily saw instantly where James got his looks from. Mr Potter was tall, although slightly stooped now with age, his hair was messy like James' and his face bared the same strong cheek bones and jaw line as his son.

"This must be the famous Lily Evans, I must say my dear, you have certainly given James plenty to talk about over the years." Rhys Potter commented light – heartedly as his gaze flickered to James, who was turning redder and redder with each passing second. Lily's hand flew to her mouth as she stifled a giggle.

"Come on then, everything has been laid up for lunch in the back garden. Too nice a day to miss." Mrs Potter spoke up as she grinned at the three. Just as Lily was about to follow the others towards the garden, a small, squeaky voice made her halt.

"May Hannah take Miss' jacket?" Lily turned around to see a small house elf, which only came up to her knee, with big flapping ears and wide misty grey eyes.

"O-ofcourse, thank you." Lily stuttered, not being accustomed to such service. She pulled of her thin navy blue jacket and handed it to the small elf, which took it and departed with a small curtsey.

"You never told me you had a house elf." Lily stated turning to James, who gave her a slightly embarrassed look.

"Yeah, she has been in the family for years. Treated like a family really, but she refuses to take retirement." James said as he smiled after the small elf as if she was a beloved cousin.

When they entered the garden, Lily gasped out load, it all looked truly marvellous, on the soft, dewy grass sat a small table, which was laden with countless amounts and types of food, all equally sumptuous looking.

Lily took a seat next to James, who smiled at her as he laced his fingers through hers under the table. Sirius soon joined them, eyeing the food with evident hunger glistening in his eyes.

"Please, dig in." Mr Potter said, gesturing towards the food as he helped himself to some cress and cucumber sandwiches.

"Now Lily, James has told us a lot about you, but we would like to know some more." Mrs Potter spoke up as she sipped on her glass of pumpkin juice. Lily nodded, not sure how much she would be able to tell them, she was not the most interesting person.

"What do your parents do?" Lily swallowed her mouthful before answering.

"My mother works in a small bakery in the centre of town, she helps in the kitchen and also does some serving work as well." Lily said, Rhys Potter nodded interestedly.

"And what about your father?" Lily's hand clenched very tight of her fork, she had been hoping she could avoid the subject of her father, but it was time to face the facts now.

"My father worked in a solicitor's office last time I saw him." Lily muttered James' thumb stroked her hands as he held it supportively. Joanna's brow creased as the last part of Lily's sentence reached her.

"What do you mean 'last time you saw him'?" Lily looked down again before continuing.

"My mum and my dad got divorced about six months ago." Lily murmured quietly, Sirius too looked over at Lily, smiling at her sympathetically.

"I am sorry to hear that, dear." Joanna said, feeling a sudden wave of protectiveness sweep over she looked at the sudden depleted expression on the young woman's face.

"Its fine, my mother is happier now I think and we are moving forward together." Lily said, pushing her sadness away, she would not let her father ruin another happy occasion.

The rest of the meal was spent finding out more about Lily's life, whilst she asked more questions about the Potters; she found that they were indeed not like a great deal of old wizarding families. Their fortune was left from inheritance from relatives and they had decided to have a large house where they could enjoy their retirement; as both Mr and Mrs Potter had been aurors in their youth and for that reason had had James late in their lives.

"...and now we have Sirius as the new addition to our family." Mr Potter announced as he looked towards the young man with obvious paternal concern. Lily smiled over at Sirius, she had been curious as to why he had taken up permanent residence with the Potters at this time, but she also knew that in the case of family, Sirius was a very private person and if he wanted to tell her, he would do so himself.

When they finished, the sun was just beginning to fall from its high place in the duck egg blue sky, and Lily soaked up the last of the warmth as she and James walked hand in hand around the rest of the garden.

"That went rather well." Lily commented, more to herself than to James, but he heard her nonetheless and gave her a cocky smile.

"I told you so, as I told you many times before, I am very often right." He stated as they continued to walk, admiring the flowers and blossoms that were just beginning to bloom.

"And not at all arrogant." Lily answered teasingly, James looked over and soon found himself laughing along with her.

"Well you certainly have my parents' approval." James said as he finally managed to regain his composure. "Now just a matter of yours liking me." He said in more of an undertone.

"My mother already loves you –" Lily began but James cut her off.

"It was not your mother I was so concerned about." He stated and Lily then realised just what he had meant. Petunia's approval.

"I wouldn't worry about her, it may take some time, but she will come round eventually...I hope. But I still love you either way." She finished, wrapping her arms around her neck and planting a kiss on his lips, to which James responded as he held her close to him. James was just deepening the kiss when Sirius' brash bark cut them short. They broke apart and looked over to see a rather irritated – looking Sirius, who was obviously not happy at being ignored.

"Oi love birds! Mind untangling yourselves, your Mum says there's pudding." And with that, he bounded back to where food was calling him. Lily and James chuckled, and then turned to eachother.

"We had better go before he alerts the entire world." Lily nodded in agreement and the two of them set off towards where Hannah was dishing up generous helpings of rhubarb and figberry crumble into bowls. Lily felt herself relax considerably as she fell into the easy conversation, she felt thins would be a great deal simpler with the Potters' approval on her side.

**I hope you like this chapter – tell me what you think. I also wanted to answer a guest review (named Potterhead) – I intend to go back over the sequel to this and change certain things, but I intend to carry on with both of them as I do not want leave one unfinished because I can make it better. Thanks for reading all of you! Em xx**


	18. The Bumpy Stretch

**Chapter 18 – The Bumpy Stretch**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter.**

Spring morphed into summer, but Lily barely noticed the change; as the end of term exams drew ever nearer, she spent more and more time in the dark and dusty seclusion of the library with Madame Pinch spying over her like an eagle.

To make matters worse, things between her and James were not going at all well, on several occasions she had unintentionally snapped at him for disturbing her. When in reality he was only trying to help, as he had done the previous week when he had offered that they take a walk down by the lake just for a little while. She has replied with a harsh tone that had even taken her by complete surprise.

"I just really want to focus on my exams. So please just let me do that!" The look of hurt that had flashed across James' handsome face had hit Lily like a physical pain. But before she was able to utter a single word of apology, he had walked away down the hall in silence.

Now Lily was staring at her Transfiguration work, trying desperately not to let her mind wonder to James and how much she had hurt him. She did not even acknowledge the person who came and sat next to her on the bench.

"You never change." A small, slightly nervous voice said. Lily almost jumped a foot in the air, she had not realised that she wasn't alone. Looking over she saw that it was Severus, but there was something different about him. He did not look at all angry or smug; in fact he looked rather anxious and vulnerable.

"Excuse me?" She asked, going back to her work. The last thing she needed today was to be badgered by Snape.

"You always used to come in here before exams, no matter how far away they were." Severus mused as he thought back to all the previous years when Lily had all but lived in the library, even when the exams were months away. Lily gave a small smile, he knew her all too well.

"Well I always liked to be prepared." She answered simply, her cold tone melting slightly. Severus gave her a small smile in response.

"Yes you did. Well it paid off, you always got top marks." Lily nodded into the middle distance; then something struck her, she was having a conversation with Snape, and what was even stranger was that she did not feel at all angry or irritated. She looked down at her parchment, desperately trying to avoid Snape's gaze; she thought about just how much had changed between them. Then, taking a very deep breath, she voiced the question that had plagued her mind for almost a full year.

"Can I ask you a question?" Severus gave her a bemused look but nodded nonetheless. "Why did you call me...that word?" Severus felt his stomach drop through the floor; he should have known that this question was going to be asked one day or another, but he had never been prepared for it. He sighed and looked down, feeling the same guilt and anger that had flooded his mind on that fateful day; boil up again in his head.

"I don't know, Lily. I truly don't..." He trailed off, he could see the obvious hurt in her eyes and he resented himself for it. He needed to give her proper answer; she deserved that. "I was angry; I know that is no excuse. I felt humiliated by what had happened and I just lashed out. But you have to know that if I could take back what I said that day, I would without a second thought. I would have things go back to the way they used to be." He stammered at last; he felt a small burden lifted from his very heavy shoulders, he had wanted to tell her all of that for so long.

Lily looked down, taking in all of what he had just said, there had been no trace of sarcasm in his voice as he had admitted his reasons; but that was not the only thing that was bothering her.

"But it might not have changed much." She whispered almost too quietly for Snape to hear. He frowned at her, not understanding. Lily looked down as she tried to force away the dull pain in her chest, the pain she felt every time she thought about the loss of her childhood friend. "Our friendship was already very fragile before that happened. You were so deep into the Dark Arts, you were following people who thought all Muggleborns and half – bloods were scum. Why?" Lily's voice cracked on the last word, it was more than just anger at the beliefs of the people Snape had befriended, it was fear of what would happen to him if she pursued that path. Snape looked shocked, he had not expected her to ask that question, he was silent for several long minutes as he tried to muster up an answer. At last he raised his eyes to hers and began to answer.

"I guess I just wanted to belong somewhere. You know what I was like when I first came here, the strange outsider from a broken and twisted family; I wanted to feel like I was noticed for something. They noticed that I was good at spells, that I had talent; I was just sick of being a nobody, no one cared about me when I was a nobody." He said his voice like that of small boy who had lost all hope in the world around him. Lily stared at him with great sympathy in her green eyes.

"I did. You were the one who told me I was a witch; you were the one who opened up this whole new world to me. To me you _were _a somebody." Lily said quietly, Severus' head shot up with her last words with a look of pure astonishment written across his face; Lily gave him a small sad smile in response."But now I'm not so sure." She concluded in a very heavy voice. Without looking at him, she packed her books away into her bag and went to stand up. But Snape grabbed hold of her arm, making her stop and turn to him.

"I'm sorry. Truly." He said, but all the while knowing that it was utterly hopeless. Lily shook her head, not daring to look at him a moment longer.

"Sorry cannot undo what has happened, Severus. We have both chosen our paths and they are travelling in very different directions." Pulling her arm out of his grasp, she walked determinedly from the library, feeling her hard crack a little bit more with each step she took.

From the shadows of the shelves, James saw Lily leave and Snape stare after her with an empty and broken expression. He felt his heart sink a little; he knew there was still something there between the two of them, whether it was just the remnants of friendship or something more he did not know. But he needed to find out.

Later that evening, Lily was sitting in the Gryffindor Common Room staring into the flames which were dying slowly, spitting like snakes as they did so. It was late, almost everyone had gone to bed; the only other people in the room were a couple of fifth years who were sitting together in the corner of the room.

The sound of the portrait whole opening dragged Lily's attention from the fireplace. Her stomach knotted nastily as she saw James appear with a rather confused expression. Feeling that now would be the time to apologise, she stood up and walked over to him; ready to swallow her pride.

"Hey, I wanted to say I am sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you. I know you were only trying to help." She gabbled, feeling her nerves getting the better of her. James gave an easy shrug.

"It's fine, really." He said, but the tone of his voice did not match his words. Lily could instantly tell that something was bothering him. She followed him over to the chairs and sat down opposite him, looking at him intently all the while.

"What?" He asked, trying to sound casual, but failing.

"You seem rather off. What is it?" James shook his head.

"Nothing, I'm fine." He said, but Lily was not convinced, she knew something was up and she would get it out of him eventually.

"Where did you go?" He asked, trying to change the subject. Lily forced away her feeling of irritation.

"Just the library." She answered simply. James nodded thoughtfully, he didn't want to anger her, but nor could he just leave his question hanging in the air.

"Did you see anyone?" He asked, trying to keep the conversation casual, but from the sceptical look on Lily's face, he knew he was failing miserably. Lily shook her head.

"Not even Snape." He asked, not being able to contain himself any longer. Lily's frowned deepened; she had a strange and horrid feeling just where this was going.

"Ok, what is this about?" She asked, trying very hard not to let her voice rise. James gave a defeated sigh; he might as well say it.

"I saw you and Snape talking. What is going on between you two?" He asked, he knew instantly that this was very dangerous territory as Lily's eyes narrowed.

"There is nothing going on between me and Snape, never has been, never will be." She said, her voice morphing into a rather menacing tone.

"Really? Because one minute you can't stand the guy, next you are talking to him like nothing ever happened." James said, feeling his own anger build up. Lily shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"We were just talking about things. I told him that we could never have a friendship again." Lily said simply, raw anger now becoming very present in her voice.

"I wonder how long that will last. You told him you were threw when he called you the "M" word and yet still talk to him." James muttered, it was now not just anger that was filling his heart, but also jealousy. Lily gave a disbelieving scoff and shook her head again.

"I can't believe this, if you can't trust me then how is this ever going to work?" Lily demanded. James remained silent; he could not believe what was happening. He had spent so long trying to show Lily that he had changed, had become more mature, and now his stupid jealousy had ruined it all. Before he could answer, Lily stood up sharply and placed something roughly into his hands.

"I guess this doesn't mean much anymore." Without another look back, she stormed past him and up to the girls' dormitories. Only after she had gone did James dare look at what she had put in his hands. He felt his heart shattered into a million tiny pieces as he looked down at the elegant eternity ring that he had given her. James finally gave into his emotions as he felt the hot tears spill from his eyes and run down his cheeks, he had done it. He had lost the woman he loved.

Up in her dormitory, Lily was leaning against the door as great silent sobs shook her entire body, she tried to take several deep breathes, but it was no use. Bringing her knees up to her chest, she buried her head in them, wanting nothing more than to shut out everything. She loved James, she knew she did, she knew that she could never love another and it was all her fault, she had ruined everything in a single moment. Not wanting to move, Lily sat there until the first signs of morning began to peek through the window.

Lily heaved herself off the floor and went to bathroom. She poured some cool water into the basin and washed her face, dabbing it dry with a soft towel. Looking at her puffy – eyed expression in the mirror, she prepared to face the day ahead, a day without James.

**Ok, sorry to leave this on such a horrid cliff – hanger but I wanted give them a little time apart. It is more for them to see how much they truly do need eachother. PLEASE don't kill me. Please read and review – hopefully update tomorrow if school doesn't go too hard on me. Thanks – Em xx**


	19. Trying to Move On

**Chapter 19 – Trying to move on**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter**

When Lily went down to the Great Hall, she was relieved to see that she was one of the very few in there. She did not think she could handle seeing everyone, not quite yet. Sitting down at the Gryffindor table, Lily poured herself a glass of Pumpkin Juice and stared intently at the orange liquid; as if hoping that it would give her all the answers that she so desperately needed.

Lily did not know how long she had sat there, but she soon realised that the morning must be wearing on as more and more students began to filter into the Hall, eager for their cooked breakfasts.

"Lily!" Alice said cheerily, but she stopped up short as she caught sight on Lily's ghostly – pale face. "What's wrong?" Lily forced a very painful smile and shook her head.

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong – I just didn't sleep well, that's all." Alice looked unconvinced, but didn't question her any further as she sat down and buttered a piece of toast. Lily sipped her pumpkin juice, not trusting herself to say anything, hoping that she would be able to finish her drink before the others arrived. Her hopes were not answered as she heard the unmistakable laughter of Sirius and Remus; looking up, Lily saw them enter the great hall, accompanied by Peter, Poppy and Emmeline. All of them laughing and joking with one another.

"Good morning ladies." Sirius said in his usual deep voice; Lily managed a weak smile in response, hardly taking her eyes off her glass.

"Where's James?" Alice asked suddenly, Lily jerked her head up suddenly waiting for the answer. Sirius shrugged as he piled sausages and bacon onto his already full plate.

"Dunno, he was very quiet this morning, don't think he was feeling very well." Sirius replied casually. Alice nodded, but Lily could feel Alice's eyes boring into her, but she kept her own adverted, not wanting to answer any question her friend may have.

"Guess he's OK." Remus commented, his gaze shifting to the entrance of the Hall, Lily followed his eye line and she suddenly felt her stomach plummet, like a balloon with a puncture. Walking down the aisle between the long tables, looking paler and rather more bedraggled than usual, was James. He approached the table and sat down next to Sirius, but kept his eyes firmly fixed on the floor at all times.

It was all too much for Lily to bear, standing up abruptly, she all but ran from the room. Leaving the others looking after her in utter bewilderment.

"What on earth was that all about?" Remus asked worriedly. No one answered, James kept his head down, feeling guilt and anguish gnawing at his gut.

"James?" Poppy pressed. James was silent for a moment, before he raised his head; revealing his haunted features.

"Lily and I called it quits." You could have heard a pin drop, as all five of them stared at James in horror.

"Please tell me you are joking." Poppy said in a pleading tone; James shook his head, feeling more hot tears stinging the back of his eyes.

"No, I am not joking." Sirius, abandoning his food, turned towards his best friend.

"But you two are happy." James banged his hand angrily on the table, causing several people to look over towards them; some frowning, some whispering to each other.

Without another word, James stood up and walked briskly out of the hall, causing more whispers to erupt around him. Sirius went to stand up, but was stopped by Alice's soothing voice.

"Sirius let me talk to him." Sirius nodded at her imploring face and sat back down, leaving his plate untouched.

Lily ran down the corridors, almost blinded by her tears, she did not know where she was going, nor did she care. Just as she was turning another corner, Lily ran headlong into someone, knocking her to the floor. Lily looked up, blinking away her tears, and she felt both relief and dismay as she saw just who she had run into.

"Sorry Professor." She apologised as she got back onto her feet. Dumbledore looked down at her with anxiety reflected in his bright blue eyes.

"Whatever is the matter?" He asked kindly, Lily shook her head, not wanting to take her Headmaster's precious time.

"It's not important." She said, attempting to brush her unhappiness aside.

"My dear, if it has caused you to be so upset, then it is obviously important." He said kindly. "Come to my office and we can talk. I insist." He added as Lily opened her mouth to protest. Giving in, she nodded and followed her Headmaster along the winding corridors and staircases to his office.

It had taken Alice almost half an hour to track James down, but she eventually found him sitting on the steps to the Owlery, looking completely dejected.

"James, what happened?" She asked gently as she perched herself on the edge of the stone steps, looking at her friend. It worried her to see him so unhappy, he usually the prankster, full of life and laughter and now he just looked broken.

"It was all my fault. I was stupid and jealous…" He trailed off, shaking his head at his own stupidity.

"Jealous of what?"

"Snape," James looked over at Alice and nodded at her confused and surprised expression. "I know, I can't believe it. I saw her talking to him and I just kind of lost it. I pretty much accused her of having feelings for Snape." James gave a frustrated groan and put his head in his hands.

"James, how could you have been so foolish?" Alice asked exasperatedly, shaking her head. She paused for a minute before continuing, choosing her words carefully. "Look, for Lily, trust is like a flame and she has been burnt more times than she cares to remember; with her sister, her Dad and then Snape. It is very hard for her to trust, so the fact that she trusted you with her heart was a pretty huge deal." Alice said carefully, she did not want to hurt James' feelings further, but she needed him to understand just why Lily had acted as she had done.

"I know…I know. I love her Al, I really do. I have loved her for so long, even though I had a funny way of showing it, I really do." James said, his voice thick with emotion. "What do I do now?" He asked desperately, turning his pleading hazel eyes on Alice, who could only give him an inadequate shrug.

"I don't know; maybe you could try some time apart, just see what happens." She suggested, feeling lost. Reaching across she gave James' hand a supportive squeeze before standing back up and descending back down the stairs.

James watched her leave, letting her words wash over him like a wave. He needed to figure out what to do, but he just didn't know what that was yet.

Lily sat in the vacant chair in Dumbledore's office, wringing her hands slightly as she looked around her, but her mind didn't really take in her surroundings.

"Surely you must have more pressing matters to deal with, rather than just a teenage girl's trivial problems." Lily tried again; she hated wasting peoples' time.

"Perhaps, but at this moment, my sole concern is to help you, my dear." Dumbledore said as he picked himself a sherbet lemon from a small porcelain bowl and after offereing one to Lily, to which she refused kindly, he set the bowl back down and turned his sparkling blue gaze towards her, giving her his full attention.

"So, what is this about?" Lily did not answer, she still felt this was not what the Headmaster should be occupying himself with. "Is it about Mr Potter?" He added, Lily's head shot up, a look of shock written plainly across her face; after a brief moment, she nodded in reply.

"We sort of, broke up." She said sheepishly. Dumbledore nodded thoughtfully, then gestured for Lily to continue. "It was all my fault, I should have never talked to Snape again, I knew how much it would upset James. Then I accused him of having no trust in me, or in us and then I just left. I feel dreadful." She concluded, looking down, embarrassed by the tears that were brimming in her bright green eyes.

Dumbledore was silent for several long minutes. It had been a long time since he had dealt with romance, but he could still remember how much it could hurt; he had seen Lily and James grow from hate to love, he had seen them apart and as a couple and they truly did seem to have real love for one another. All he could hope was that this separation would be temporary.

"Well, this will not be easy to here, but perhaps you should try to move on." Lily looked up, horrified by what her Headmaster was suggesting. How could she move on from James? What was there to move on to? "Perhaps a little time apart will give you a chance to reflect on what you both really want. They do say that absence makes the heart grow stronger." He said, Lily nodded pensively.

"It doesn't make it any easier though." She commented. Dumbledore gave her a small, sad smile.

"No, it doesn't, but it may help, in the end." Lily nodded and then attempted to give Dumbledore a smile, though she was not sure how effective it was.

"Thank you Professor Dumbledore." Lily said politely as she stood up and walked towards the door.

"Trust your heart Miss Evans, it will show you the right way." Lily turned and nodded to her old mentor. As she exited the study and down the spiral staircase, Lily could not help but feel she had left the office even more confused than before.

**Hey guys! So, so, so sorry that it took so long for me to update but things have been pretty crazy lately. Please read and review – what do you think is to become of Lily and James and how do you think Snape will take the news that they have broken up? Thanks – Em xx**


	20. Summer & Dumbledore's Madness

Chapter 20 – Summer and Dumbledore's Madness

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter**

The end of term was slow in arriving for Lily, she and James had not said a word to each other since that fateful evening. Despite all of Alice and Poppy's attempts to cheer her up, Lily had remained subdued and seclude, keeping mostly to herself; when the day came for the students to board the Hogwarts Express for the summer holidays, Lily found herself feeling very relieved indeed.

Lily packed the last of her belongings into her heavy trunk and then joined the many other students thronging towards the station. Once she had safely stowed her luggage away in the train, she hopped on and began walking down the narrow aisle, looking for somewhere to sit. As she was walking along, looking into each compartment, she found herself staring into one which contained the Marauders and a couple of other fifth year Gryffindor boys; Lily found herself longing to pull back the door and go inside, but she stopped herself just in time. She needed to move on. They both did.

Shaking her head slightly, Lily moved on along the aisle, and then at last, she found one compartment near the end of the train that was empty. Breathing a sigh, Lily pulled back the door and sat herself down by the window and watched the great turrets of the castle disappear behind the trees as the train pulled away.

Lily spent the majority of the train journey alone; on a couple of occasions, Alice had stopped by to see if she wanted any company or anything to eat. Lily had declined both, she knew she would be no kind of company at the moment and she did not want to bring her best friend down as well. When the train finally came to a halt at King's Cross, Lily practically ran to collect her luggage and ran through the barrier into the Muggle world. Once she was across the other side, she immediately spotted her mother, alight with happiness at the sight of her daughter; feeling a true smile spread across her face, Lily ran towards her mother and fell into her embrace.

"Hello sweetheart! I missed you." She said softly as she placed a kiss on her daughter's head. Lily pulled back and gave her mother a kind smile.

"I missed you too Mum. Shall we go?" Lily asked, putting her hand on the handle of her trolley.

"Don't you want to wait for James?" Mrs Evans asked and Lily felt a sudden ache in her stomach at the sound of his name. Turning her head away from her mother so she wouldn't see the hurt in her eyes, Lily shook her head roughly.

"Let's just go." She said, pulling her trolley behind her as she left the station; her mother following close behind with a confused look in her face.

The car journey back to the Evans' house was a silent one, as Lily stared absent – mindedly out of the window and Mrs Evans shot anxious looks at her daughter, all the while, Lily's words echoed in her head.

"It's so good to be home." Lily sighed contently as she lugged her trunk into the hall of their home.

"Ok, what is it?" Mrs Evans asked pointedly as she hung up her coat and gave her daughter a serious look.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked, forcing a smile, although she knew it was pointless.

"You don't want to wait for James at the station, you are completely silent on the way home and then you change the topic completely. I'm not an idiot Lily, I know something is wrong." Lily gave a defeated sigh and let her shoulders drop.

"James and I broke up." Lily admitted, a look of shock flashed across Mrs Evans' face as she stepped towards her daughter, who now looked pale and deflated.

"What happened?" She asked as she steered Lily into the kitchen and put the kettle on. As Mrs Evans dropped tea bags into two mugs, Lily recounted what had happened between her and James earlier in the year.

"He just accused me of having feelings for Severus….like he couldn't trust me." Lily whispered as her mother handed her a steaming mug and put a comforting arm around her shoulders.

"Do you have feelings for Severus?" Mrs Evans asked bluntly, Lily instantly shook her head. She had never seen Severus in that way, even when they were friends and especially not anymore. Mrs Evans nodded thoughtfully before continuing. "Do you still love James?"

"Yes…maybe…I don't know." Lily answered hopelessly, she had no idea how she felt anymore. "I'm just so tired of missing him, Mum." Lily said, her voice breaking at last as she blinked back the tears which were stinging her eyes. They were both silent for several moments, both unsure of what words would be comforting enough.

"Perhaps you should take some time apart. Find out what you really want." Mrs Evans said wisely, and planting one last kiss on Lily's head, she stood up and disappeared upstairs. Lily looked down into her mug of tea – time apart – that was what everyone seemed to be suggesting to her; maybe it would be for the best, she would just have to wait and see.

Silence. That was all that summer was for James. He had received no word from Lily, nor did he send her a single letter; it was not that he did not want to, he had lost count of the number of times he had reached for his quill and parchment, before he was quickly reminded by Sirius that Lily wanted to be left alone. And so it had continued, he had not written to her and she had not written to him, and despite Sirius' attempts to boost his spirits, James had remained distant throughout the holidays – to the point that when September 1st came around, both Sirius and James were abnormally grateful about it.

When James sat down at the table for breakfast that morning, he found a funny churning sensation in his stomach, which rendered him unable to eat the delicious – looking breakfast that Hannah laid before him.

"Is Master James sick?" Hannah asked with wide, worried eyes and she stared from James to his untouched food. James forced a smile and shook his head.

"No, Hannah, I just don't feel like eating. Thank you." He said in a small voice, trying to ignoring the irritated sigh and rolling of eyes that came from Sirius. It was just as Hannah was taking away James' plate that a great tawny owl flew in through the large open window and dropped a letter in front of James. As soon as he picked up the letter, the owl hooted importantly and then soared back out of the window.

"Well, who's it from?" Sirius asked as he took a mouthful of scrambled egg. James turned over the letter and saw the distinctive Hogwarts crest stamped on the back of it. Feeling his confusion and curiosity grow, he broke the seal and pulled out the envelope's contents. There was a sudden 'thump', and looking down, James saw a shiny badge, glinting in the sunlight. James felt his jaw drop.

"I've been made Head Boy." James breathed, hardly believing his words. There was a clatter as Sirius dropped his knife and fork in astonishment.

"Who on earth would made you Head Boy?" Sirius asked incredulously. James unfolded the letter and read:

_Dear Mr Potter,_

_I am pleased to inform you that you have been secured the position of Head Boy for the following academic year. I know that this may seem like an unlikely choice, given your past record of misdoings, but I am a firm believer of second chances._

_Kind Regards_

_Professor Dumbledore_

"Well we always said Dumbledore was off his rocker. Now we can be absolutely sure." Sirius said, his face still etched with extreme surprise. James, however, began to feel a warm feeling of pride well up in his chest. He could not believe it, after all the things he had done, he had been made Head Boy. He would not let Dumbledore regret this decision; he at least owed his Headmaster that.

King's Cross Station was bustling as usual, as Lily pushed her trolley through the crowds, glancing anxiously at the clock. Turning to her mother, she gave her one last hug (Petunia had insisted she had somewhere better to be), before running at the barrier and next moment she was facing the gleaming Hogwarts Express, which was whistling loudly. As quickly as she could, Lily heaved her trunk of its trolley and stored it in the cargo compartment, before jumping on the train just in time as next second it was pulling away from the station.

"Lily!" A sudden call, made Lily spin around and before she knew it, Alice had pulled her into a bear hug.

"It's wonderful to see you too Alice, but do you think you could leave my ribs intact." Lily laughed as Alice stood back with an apologetic look on her face. "Come on let's go and find a seat." Lily said, taking Alice's hand, they began a search for a compartment that was not utterly packed.

"Here we go," Alice said as she pulled back the door and entered a compartment where Frank, Poppy and Emmeline were already seated. Once they had all said their hello's, the conversation turned to their holidays; Lily kept quiet as she heard about all her friends' activities, knowing that she had done very little with her two months.

"Well I wonder who Head Boy and Girl are going to be this year." Emmeline said, with a very purposeful look towards Lily.

"What?" Lily said with mock innocence, Emmeline rolled her eyes, a jovial smile playing on her lips.

"Lil, come on. We all know that you are the smartest girl in the year – not to mention the best candidate for the job." Emmeline said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Ok, yes it's me." Lily said and she found herself smiling brightly.

"That's great Lil; do you know who Head Boy is?" Poppy asked in her usual lively voice.

"No idea, it's probably Remus – he was Prefect and he is one of the smartest boys in our year." Lily said casually, she could not think of anyone else who suited the role better. Remus had always been hard working and had always cared for the younger years. The others all nodded in agreement, then they went back to their chatter about various things – school work, lessons and most importantly the seventh year ball which was due to be held near the end of the year.

Before they knew it, the train was grinding a halt and the familiar voice of Hagrid calling of the first years could be heard quite clearly.

"It's good to be back," Emmeline breathed, before she gave Lily a nudge. "Come on, I'm starving." With that, she all but pulled Lily on to one of the carriages, that had always appeared to be pulled by nothing, and soon enough they were making their way back to the castle.

The Great Hall was packed as all the students chatted to each other greeted their friends that they hadn't seen in a while. Lily and Alice waved goodbye to Emmeline as she made her way over to the Ravenclaw table, whilst they seated themselves at the Gryffindor table. Looking around, she soon spotted Remus walking down the aisle between the long tables with a very cheerful looking Sirius bounding at his side like an excited puppy.

"Remus." She called; a smile went over his pale, thin face as he walked over to her.

"Hey, Lil," His eyes then snapped to the badge pinned to her robes. "Congratulations on getting Head Girl, you deserved it." Lily smiled in response.

"Thanks and weldone to you for getting Head Boy." She said lightly, and a frown suddenly creased Remus' brow.

"I didn't…I'm not Head Boy." He said confused, Lily felt her own confusion increase.

"I'm sorry I just thought that….well if you're not Head Boy, then who is?" Remus bit his lip suddenly; he knew that Lily was not going to like this at all. But he did not need to answer her, as next moment, James walked past them both and Lily automatically caught sight of a shining badge pinned to his robes, almost identical to hers. Lily groaned slightly and Remus gave her a very apologetic look before he went and took a seat between Sirius and Peter.

"Well, this year is going to be interesting." Alice said in an undertone to Frank who nodded, casting a very worried look between James and Lily.

"Good Evening to you all," The regal voice of Dumbledore rang out across the hall, causing everyone to fall silent and all eyes to turn to their Headmaster. "To those of you old, welcome back – to all the new faces, I say welcome to Hogwarts, I hope this will be a good and happy home to you over the next few years." Dumbledore took a moment to survey the sea of students over the rim of his half -moon spectacles before continuing. "I have some notices that I wish to address, the first is that the Forbidden Forest is out of bounds to _all _students, something that a few members of our community would do well to remember," Dumbledore cast an amused look over at the Marauders, who all kept their chins up proudly. "The second is that our Head Boy and Head Girl have been chosen – James Potter and Lily Evans." A great deal of students applauded, whilst a few whispered to each other and some Slytherins simply glared over at the Gryffindor table. But Lily heard barely any of it, as her eyes were hooked on James who had a very surprised and slightly apprehensive look on his face and she was almost certain that he was thinking the same thing as her – Dumbledore was completely mad.

**Well I hope this chapter was alright – sorry it has been a long time since my last update – but school has been taking over my life! Please read and review! Thank you all for your support! Em xx**


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